How to Repair Your Broken Memories

A practice in faith and healing

We often carry a lot of baggage from our past.

It’s a heavy burden. Painful memories can rip apart our chance at reconciliation or closure. We develop trauma and associated triggers that follow.

But what if we went back in time and repaired them? What if you could heal your past traumas by erasing them? How does it feel to start over?

We stop repeating patterns. We energetically heal our relationships. We have the capacity for healing in our minds and hearts. We have the power to mend our broken parts. It’s profoundly simple. We need two key ingredients: willingness to keep an open mind and heart, and taking guided action.

Revisit the past with a new pair of glasses. Find your authentic voice. Think of when you wished you could’ve said or done something differently. Then imagine the scene playing out the way you would’ve wanted.

The following was suggested by my healer friend, Dr. G, who inspired me to go within to heal myself and others.

Here’s how to repair your broken memories, so you can both move on:

Visualize the scene

Get in a comfortable position in a quiet, private space. I sat on my bed with meditation music. You can sit in silence if need be, but I use music to drown out kid sounds.

Take a few deep breaths and relax. Ask to be present for the experience. Watch the scene play out in your mind. Instead of the unwanted outcome, change what’s said or done to match your ideal.

It’s time for a do-over, with or without the other person involved. Recall a troublesome time, one that might have set the tone for current unhealthy patterns. It could be one incident or many, and it could be a parent, an ex-partner, whatever relationship you want to address.

Imagine yourself the age you were when it happened. See yourself in your childhood home, for example. Get a sense of the feelings you both had, the words exchanged, the actions taken.

Restart the conversation

Rewind the scene until before the moment you had a conflict or painful experience. You and the other person respond as you wished, each of you playing out your ideal scenario.

For example, if your mother neglected you or did something cruel or abusive, she won’t hurt you anymore. You replace her behavior with loving support and tenderness.

Instead of forcing me to sit for hours and eat a tomato, my mother let me choose healthy, delicious foods I enjoyed. Instead of depriving me, she fed me more than enough wholesome food for every meal throughout the day. I’m no longer starving or pushed to eat certain foods. I have a healthy relationship with food because my mother and I had a chance to start over and try again.

Restarting the conversation or situation offers you a choice to decide what direction you would take, and what you wanted them to do or say. When I first embarked on this exercise, I healed relationships with mother and my dad’s girlfriend. These were straightforward and quite powerful.

I moved on to my ex-boyfriend Joaquin*. I decided to marry him (I watched him propose — it was lovely). But I wondered how my kids would be born. I decided he’d reverse his vasectomy, or we’d get married after I had my kids.

This gave me pause. The initial purpose of this exercise was to heal our pain and move on. I imagined what could’ve happened if we didn’t encounter problems with alcoholism and codependency. I decided to rewind to the time of his relapse and go from there.

Whenever we change the past, we affect the future in innumerable ways. When you revisit your scene, pay attention to where intuition guides you.

I included our experience with addiction. It was important I left it as part of our story. I needed to respond differently to his relapse. He told me the truth, I set reasonable boundaries by giving space, and he eventually got sober.

Express your feelings

Being entirely present for this remarkable fresh start allows us to feel our feelings. You may not have expressed them before. Now here’s your chance.

I replayed a scene with my first boyfriend this morning. It was incredibly healing. I got to tell him how I felt and ask for what I wanted. Tears of relief rolled down my cheeks. I know I healed us both today.

Let yourself feel everything. Some of your feelings will be from how you felt before you redid the scene. You need to release the old to refresh and renew. When you’re through, you’ll feel calm and relaxed. It’ll feel new to you, and your body will start to recover.

Final thoughts

It’s only been two days, and I’ve healed my past with three ex-boyfriends and two mother figures. I visualized the situation, restarted the conversation, experienced my feelings, and embraced healing.

We can experience this level of healing every day if we choose. If we’re willing to be open to change, we change our entire existence. When we shift our energy, everyone and everything else shifts.

Revisiting a past painful experience and starting over will benefit both of you. You’re free to love them, and they’re free to love you. The shift may show up in your current life afterward. Healing happens on all levels. We heal our past, present, and future, in our body, mind, and spirit.

*Name changed to protect anonymity

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