How to Protect Your Heart When Dating a Married Man

The reality of dating a married man most people don’t get.

Having a crush on married men is quite common among women. Initially, the connection feels simple, but it eventually puts several lives at stake.

The story begins as a usual attraction where you see each other and are attracted to each other. Then you bond over dinner, lunch, or coffee and start a casual friendship that gradually turns into a relationship.

Finally, the two of you feel inseparable but not happy knowing that the relationship has no future since he’s married.

I think polygamy is a widespread ideology among women and their preference for men, which is why most women who get involved with married men see no guilt in their actions.

For instance, patriarchy indoctrinates women to accept men as philanders. So single women think, “oh! it’s okay to share your husbands too.” Because that’s what we’ve been taught, right?

From my experience and observations, the provision of basic needs is one of the major reasons why women tend to prefer married men to single men.

Married men are more secure sources of funding for women because they can provide for their needs.

Then there are women who seek attention and emotional support from married men. Since married men seem to be more experienced and mature, they get attracted to them.

In some cases, women find love and companionship in their relationships with these men.

But what about the men? Why do they enter intimate relationships when they know they are married? Why aren’t they satisfied with their wives?

We tend to justify a man’s actions, whether he be single or married, and then we blame the women they date for their actions.

Dating a married man could probably stigmatize you with many condemnable titles and may not be an easy experience to endure, as being the ‘other woman’ entails a lot of sacrifices.

So for women who plan on dating married men, you should be prepared to take the blows when the hit is on. But before you make that decision, here are some lessons to have at the back of your mind to know if this is the type of relationship for you or not.

1. They are into you for the sex

Most men who cheat are not looking for an emotional commitment. So you can bet he won’t be there for you when you need his support.

He has you for sex and connection and his wife for stability, security, the comfort of a shared history, and a mutual commitment to their children.

These men are often looking out for their selfish interests only. They can screw you over anytime once they feel you aren’t benefiting them.

2. They are emotionally detached

As much as he confesses his love for you, he will not make you his priority because his wife and children will always come first.

Most times, married men purposely stay emotionally detached to protect their marriage.

He knows if he falls in love with you, he may lose his wife and children. And the idea of another man taking on the paternal role in his kids’ lives (if his wife remarries) will hurt his ego more than anything.

3. They often have multiple sexual partners

If he is fooling around, there’s a chance that you are not the only woman he is dating outside his marriage.

And this usually means that you mean very little to him, contrary to what he might be telling you to keep you under control.

Unfaithful men usually fool around to satisfy their own egocentric nature and to prove themselves that they are still manly down there.

4 They don’t date for a long term

If you think he’s in it for the long haul, think again. Most married men will not leave their wives for you.

You are simply a bargain he uses to get off when his wife is lacking in a certain department.

The moment his wife starts to suspect something, he dumps you. He may also get bored of you and break it off without warning so he can go for an upgraded model.

However, four years is usually the limit most affairs last. Well, if it lingers, consider yourself married without the ring. Ouch!

5. They are manipulators and cheap liars

Don’t always believe what he tells you, for he may be just taking advantage of your weaknesses.

Married men who fall in love with someone else are often emotionally unstable.

They will use all means necessary to get into your pants or your heart. When they get what they want, they will just leave.

Parting words

Every relationship has its own risk. There’s no guarantee you will find happiness when it comes to dating and relationships.

But the risks and guilt associated with dating an unavoidable man can have a more damaging effect on your life.

I don’t particularly feel guilty when I date married men because I’m not in it to keep the men, but I do feel sorry for the wives, for they don’t deserve husbands like that.

So, if you are in a relationship with a married man, it is important to analyze the emotional need that the man can satisfy. Then see if you can get it anywhere else except from the married man.

It’s important to understand you are trading on a dangerous path that society will always frown upon.

But if you still want to take on this path, try to protect your sanity by keeping your emotions in check. Some people have successfully dated married men without getting hurt.

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