How to Last Longer in Bed

So you can enjoy the journey, not just the destination

I can come very quickly.

That’s not a brag. In fact, for a long time, it was a big problem.

Until I learned to prolong sex, it always ended much sooner than I wanted it to.

And because I was dating a delayed ejaculator, sex ended far too quickly for him.

It was such a terrible situation because the sex was so damn good.

His cock would slide into me and I’d feel that intense rush of pleasure from the initial penetration.

Every thrust after that would feel amazing.

It was just about perfect — if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it wouldn’t last.

Almost as soon as we started fucking, the pleasure would intensify at a rapid pace, my breath would get stuck in my throat, all my muscles would contract at once, and I’d have to ask him to stop because the feeling was just too intense.

We had barely started and I already had an orgasm. I was done. I was spent. I couldn’t keep going. But I was a little bit sad that I barely got to enjoy it.

And that’s if his cock even made it inside me.

When he fingered me or went down on me, I’d have to stop him within a minute or two if I wanted to have any chance of getting fucked. Otherwise, I’d climax and put a quick stop to everything before I even got a chance to pull his cock out of his underwear.

That happened pretty often. Having him eat me out is one of the best feelings in the world, and I don’t usually have the willpower to ask him to stop.

My premature orgasms were starting to be a pain in the ass. Sex was supposed to be relaxing, but it was stressing me out. I spent the whole time I was fucking my boyfriend trying not to come instead of just letting go and enjoying it.

I was stopping him more than I was urging him on, and that went against my instincts.

I had to choose between actually being in the moment and getting an orgasm too soon or prolonging it and spending the whole time in my head and feeling frustrated.

And that’s basically how it was until I found a few ways to prolong sex (without fucking up my fun).

I’ll speak from my own personal experience, since these are all methods I’ve used and had success with. But they’re universal and can be used regardless of your gender.

And they’re not just for people who come quickly. Most couples are at least a little bit out of sync — one of you is going to last longer than the other. Using these methods can help you line up more closely.

Go to the Edge

Edging is basically getting really close to an orgasm but stopping the stimulation before you actually come. Then, you let yourself come down a bit and get started again.

This was the first strategy I tried, but it took me a long time to find the best approach to it.

At first, I did some basic edging. Mr. Austin would thrust into me at a steady pace and when I felt like I was at the edge of an orgasm, I’d gently push against his chest and ask him to pull out. I’d lie there panting while his hard cock hovered over me, waiting for the go-ahead to start fucking me again.

We managed to go longer that way, but it wasn’t quite the all-night fuck fantasy I had dreamed of. Instead, it introduced new kinds of frustrations into my sex life.

Edging was annoying because I wanted to come. Yes, I wanted to prolong sex, but my body was also craving the release I knew was tantalizingly close.

That’s why I could almost never do it on my own. When I was masturbating, I would just go with what felt right and what felt right was making a beeline for my orgasm.

But the bigger problem was that I got overstimulated. Going and going and going without any release would make me so sensitive that I struggled to come — and sometimes wouldn’t get to have a satisfying orgasm at all.

Not ideal, to say the least.

Eventually, I fixed that problem. I figured out that if I keep clitoral stimulation to a minimum until I’m ready for my last orgasm, I can avoid numbing myself out of a satisfying finish.

And I solved the frustrating part of edging by changing the way I look at it.

Edging helped me last longer, but I eventually noticed that it gave me a stronger climax, too. Realizing that took some of the annoyance out of it. Edging was a lot more fun when it meant I could look forward to a bigger payoff.

But it got even better when we figured out the sexual dynamic that works best for us. I’m a sensual submissive, and Mr. Austin turned edging into a part of his control play. Instead of me telling him to stop, he’ll look for signs that I’m getting close. When I’m almost there, he’ll stop stimulating me and tell me I’m not allowed to come yet. It leaves me squirming in horny agony and I am here for that.

Other times, he’ll challenge me to do something and edge me until I do it. He might tell me to be completely quiet or I don’t get to come. He might only let me come if I say something uncomfortably dirty. And sometimes he keeps it simple and just makes me beg for it.

Putting him in charge of my orgasm turned edging into a hot power exchange. Now, it’s physically frustrating but so damn satisfying.

If you’re struggling with edging — or finding it difficult to enjoy — ask your partner to take the reins. It can make all the difference.

Make Your Orgasm a Checkpoint, Not the Finish Line

Edging was the first way I managed to prolong sex, but my real breakthrough was training my body to have multiple orgasms.

If you’re coming too quickly, the solution might just be to come more often.

My problem is that I felt worn out after coming. I lost my energy and, more importantly, I lost my horniness. I still wanted to fuck, but without that visceral feeling, it wasn’t quite as appealing and definitely not as pleasurable.

So, I just forced myself to push through and see if I could get back there.

I’d make a bargain with myself. When I was getting close, I would allow myself to go right for that orgasm only if I would keep going after I was done.

And I did. I’d come and Mr. Austin would keep fucking me or eating me out while I tried to get back to where I was before.

It took a while, but I got there. Having his tongue lapping against my pussy would be enough to build my desire back up, and then I would get almost as aroused as I was before I came.

Then, I came again and I’d start challenging myself to go for a third orgasm. After a while, I’d see if I could go for four.

Over time, my body clued in to what I was doing and it started cooperating with me. When I made multiple orgasms the norm, I’d regain my horniness almost as soon as I was done coming.

Unless I had a huge, show-stopping orgasm, I was ready for more as soon as it was over.

At first, it was disjointed. After an orgasm, I’d have to start from square one every time and build my arousal back up. Now it’s continuous — my desire and arousal are still there after a climax and going for more is effortless.

If you’re into it, keep going after you’re done. Your body might eventually fall in line and you’ll be able to last longer and come more often.

Switch Things Up

Another thing that really helps is to switch what you’re doing.

I hit my peak a lot more quickly when I get steady, constant stimulation. When I interrupt that stimulation, I can last longer.

One of the best ways to do this is to make sure you’re getting a lot of buildup.

Mr. Austin used to go right for my clit with his tongue. I would come in no time, but I’d barely get to enjoy the feeling of him eating me out.

It’s much better and lasts longer now that he starts with some less direct stimulation, like licking my labia, and then varies what he’s doing with his tongue (and where he’s doing it) so I don’t finish too abruptly.

When he’s fucking me, he usually starts with long but very slow thrusts. That way, I can just enjoy the feeling of his cock sliding into me and I don’t have to worry about it ending too soon. He can also vary his speed or alternate between pounding me hard and fucking me more gently.

Another way to hold on longer is to switch what you’re doing. Go from oral to manual sex, from stroking the clit to rubbing the G-spot, or flip from doggy to missionary. It will give you a different kind of sensation and bring you back down a bit so you’re not so close to your climax.

If you really need it, you can give yourself a complete break where the attention is off your body. Focus on giving pleasure instead of receiving it. I might suck his cock, give his shaft some strokes, or let him fuck my tits — and then he goes back to pleasuring my pussy once it’s had a break.

Save Your Finishing Moves

There are a few sex acts that I consider my finishing moves. They’re the ones that make me come so fucking hard that I’m tapped out. There’s no more fucking after those — just heavy breathing and cuddles.

One of my big ones is lying on my stomach and riding a vibrator while my husband fucks me from behind.

Another is circles around my clit. Doesn’t matter if it’s with fingers or tongue — as long as it’s soft, slow, and wet it works really fucking well.

Sometimes, sucking cock while he’s eating me out will do it. That’s one of the reasons I almost never sixty-nine — I might come so hard from it that we’ll be done before the foreplay is over.

Identify your finishing moves and tell your partner what they are. Make sure you’re saving them for the end. That way, you’ll last longer and end on a really good note.

Go Long

One common misconception about sex is that it’s only really good when it involves fast orgasms.

Guys will brag like they’re the biggest studs in the room because they can make girls come in record time. And women will feel inadequate if they can’t get a guy off quickly.

But the best sex isn’t always the one that gets you to your orgasm the soonest. Often, a great fuck is one you can really ride through and enjoy fully.

Orgasms are amazing, but it’s not like everything that leads up to them is a chore. Sex is fun as hell — so if you can make it last longer, I say go for it.

And prolonging sex isn’t just about savoring it — it’s also about getting a bigger payoff. When I prolong sex, my orgasms are infinitely stronger. Something about taking the time to work up to them just makes them better.

So, ride through the pleasure, delay your orgasm for as long as you can, and then bust out your best finishing move. Because after holding back for so long, you deserve a big finish.

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