How Forced Dirty Talk Is Helping Me Find My Voice

Overcoming shyness one filthy phrase at a time

I love dirty talk, but I’m terrible at participating in it.

My sex vocabulary is pretty limited. It’s mostly shouting a lot of “oh my God” and “fuck yes” but not much else.

I wish I could say more, but it just doesn’t come naturally to me. Filthy little phrases pop up in my mind when I’m fucking, but I clam up before I can say them out loud.

I second guess myself into silence. Am I just going to sound stupid? Am I going to mess it up? Is my voice even sexy?

“Make me come, daddy” might sound better in my head than it does going past my lips.

I’ve tried just making myself do it and it never feels right. Instead of getting aroused by it, I just feel embarrassed. Not in a naughty, exhibitionistic way, either — in an uncomfortable, self-conscious way.

It’s weird, though, because I can say any dirty thing I want to in casual conversation. I can talk at length about squirting, anal sex, and creampies. I can write and publish articles with very explicit language without hesitating for a second.

But as soon as I’m supposed to be doing it in a sexy way, I can’t do it.

I get the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.

There are two exceptions, though. I can ask my husband “Why don’t you come on my ass?” when we’re done having sex and I can tell him “You should fuck my ass” when I’m in the mood for it.

I can even say them in a breathy and (hopefully) sexy way.

My theory is that I learned them out of necessity. He’s a delayed ejaculator who has never come from sex. I don’t want him to feel bad about having to finish himself off at the end, so I like to give him a little encouragement by inviting him to come on his favorite part of my body.

Anal also isn’t a given for us. Even though I love it and sometimes have nights with nothing but anal sex, it’s not something we do all that frequently. So, when I want it, I have to ask for it. If I just wait for him to put his cock in my ass when I’m craving anal, it’s never going to happen.

I struggled to say those things at first, but with practice and with time, they just became part of my vocabulary.

And I realized that was my ticket to becoming a dirty talker. I had to just do it until I was comfortable.

The only problem is I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything. It would all stay on the tip of my tongue and I could never push them out.

If I was going to become a dirty talker, I would need some help. So, I enlisted my husband. I told him about my theory and asked him if he would be willing to force me to say some naughty stuff while we fucked.

It’s a natural fit for our usual playful control play, so he was game for it.

Now, for the last few weeks, he’s been forcing me to say dirty things while we have sex.

And I wish I could say that I can now spit out a bunch of dirty sentences while we fuck, but the truth is that it’s been hit or miss.

Sometimes, he’ll say “Tell me you want me to eat your pussy” and I’ll giggle with embarrassment and won’t be able to get a word out.

Other times, he might have to tell me two or three times before I do it, but I do it.

I’m definitely making progress, even if it’s just in baby steps. Along the way, I’m also realizing what works and what doesn’t. As it turns out, there are worse and better ways to force someone to talk dirty.

If you want to use forced dirty talk to help you come out of your shell (or just enjoy some light power play), here are my tips for getting the most out of it.

Get the Timing Right

The first time we tried forced dirty talk, it happened way too soon.

We were in the middle of foreplay and I was still working my way up to feeling aroused. That was the time Mr. Austin told me to say I wanted him to eat my pussy. I giggled. I blushed. I couldn’t say it.

When you’re horny, you let go of your inhibitions. You start doing and saying things you would never do or say otherwise. You send texts that feel perfect but embarrass the fuck out of you when you read them in the morning.

That’s the energy you need. You need to get so aroused you’ll do practically anything.

So, make sure you get the timing right. Forced dirty talk should happen at peak horniness if you want to get more than giggles out of it.

Keep It Easy and Simple

Some kinds of dirty talk is just way too much for me. I can be forced to say a lot of stuff, but calling him “daddy” while he fucks me would be some advanced level shit.

What you struggle with is really personal, too.

I can ask my husband to fuck my ass, no problem. But when he asked me to tell him his finger felt good in my ass, it took like four tries (even though it really did feel good).

There’s no rhyme or reason to it — some stuff just feels harder to say than others.

It’s better to keep it short, too. You want your forced dirty talk to be something you can blurt out quickly.

I found out that I couldn’t say “Your cock feels so good in my pussy.” There were just too many words. Too much thinking involved. Too many opportunities to worry about how I sound saying it.

“Fuck me harder” worked much better. It’s simple. Quick. I can say it before I even have a chance to think about it.

Use beginner level dirty talk. Say things you’re almost comfortable saying.

Incentivize It

Using rewards and playful punishments is what has worked best for me so far.

The second time we tried forced dirty talk, I was tied down to the bed. My wrists and ankles were in the cuffs and the straps were pulled taut. I could barely move. I was on display and at his mercy.

And he was holding a paddle.

We were playing a little game. Until I said “please make me come” and said it without giggling or acting shy, he was going to keep using the paddle on me.

When I hesitated too long, I got a gentle tap on the tits. When I let a giggle escape when I said it, he would give my pussy a gentle paddling. When I said “I don’t know if I can say it,” I felt the paddle hit my stomach and was told “Well you’re just going to have to try.”

I felt a little self-conscious throughout the whole thing, but it was fun and gave me the push I needed.

And when I finally begged for him to make me come, he did not disappoint.

The paddle was fun, but edging works best.

I can do almost anything when I’m edged long enough. I normally give up control, but being edged a few times makes me downright powerless.

On one night, he kept bringing me to the brink of an orgasm. Right at the point where my hips tense up and my head lifts from the pillow, he would pull his hand away. And I would squirm and moan in frustration.

I got so fucking desperate for a release that I would’ve said anything to get him to finish me off.

He made it easy, though. All I had to do was tell him when I was about to come and he would let me.

Don’t Fake a Sexy Voice

My voice is a big stumbling block when it comes to dirty talk. I don’t think of myself as having a sexy voice, so I’m stuck in this weird bind.

I feel the need to fake a sexy voice because I don’t think mine is sexy enough.

But faking a sexy voice makes me feel silly and less attractive.

So, I’m doing my best to just accept my voice as it is. It might not be the sexiest one out there, but it’s what I’m working with.

I took a cue from my husband on this one. He doesn’t like his voice at all. But when he talks dirty to me, he doesn’t try to change it or make it deeper. He just uses his own voice and it works perfectly — it’s exactly the one I want to hear.

Remember that your goal is to say things you normally wouldn’t. Force your words, not your voice.

Wear a Blindfold

Being blindfolded helps me be my dirtiest self.

Some of my best forced dirty talk happened when I had my eyes covered by a sleep mask. There’s just something about not being able to see that makes it easier to be uninhibited.

It might have to do with not being able to see your partner. Not being able to see their reaction means you don’t have to picture them cringing when you say a dirty phrase.

Not being able to watch them in anticipation helps you to just focus on the words, too.

And obviously they’re still there in the room. They’re still participating and telling you what to say. But not being able to see them still makes you feel like you’re in your own little private world. It makes it easier to say “I want to suck your cock” because it’s almost like you’re saying it to yourself.

Discuss It Outside of Sex

Make sure you work out all the details ahead of time.

That’s something you should do with any kind of control play, because you need to get on the same page about it and you should work that out while you have a clear head.

It’s also important to work out what kind of dirty talk you’re comfortable using.

I personally can’t get turned on by dirty talk that’s humiliating or degrading. I don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to say it.

I know that a lot of people love it, though. It might be the only kind of dirty talk they really get off to.

And there are just those little personal no go zones.

“Suck my cock” is a perfectly fine thing for most people to say during sex, but it can be triggering for me.

You might love getting your ass eaten out but saying it just feels humiliating to you.

Or there might be specific words that just ick you out. Maybe you hate saying “pussy” or the word “tits” sounds kind of juvenile to you.

Before you agree to be forced to talk dirty, work out exactly what that means for you. Only give up that control to your partner when they know exactly what you find acceptable and arousing.

Be Your Dirtiest Self

There were some definite low points in my attempts to use forced dirty talk.

There were phrases I just couldn’t say, no matter how hard I tried.

There were times I wasn’t horny enough and trying to do it just killed the mood.

But it’s mostly been successful. I’ve said a few dirty things and said them with enough faked confidence to make it believable.

And the last time it happened, I knew was on to something.

I was blindfolded. I was holding my legs up as best as I could. And Mr. Austin was just fucking me so perfectly.

He was going hard. He was going deep. It felt amazing and I knew the orgasm that I’d get from it would be even better.

He chose that moment to say it. “Tell me to keep fucking you hard. Beg for it.”

I knew I couldn’t hesitate. If I didn’t want him to stop fucking me like this, I had to say it.

I needed him to make me come. I needed to see how this fucking incredible dicking was going to end.

So, I said it as quickly as I could. Almost as soon as he was done telling me what to do, I let it out.

“Please keep fucking me hard! Don’t stop!”

I didn’t feel any shame. No embarrassment. It felt natural. For the first time, he forced me to say something and it just felt right.

And then I got it. My reward. A hard, steady, absolutely beautiful fuck that ended with an orgasm so big I had to ask for a moment before we kept going.

That was a breakthrough, but I still have a lot of work to do. I don’t have the confidence to say things like that without being prompted. It might take a while before I can say them without feeling like I want to hide my face in shame. And it might be even longer before I can feel sexy saying them.

I’m going to keep trying. And if Mr. Austin can keep getting the timing as perfectly as he got it that night, I’ll get there in no time.

If you want to use restraints and a blindfold for your forced dirty talk, try the Sportsheets Sexy Submissive Bondage Kit. That’s an affiliate link, by the way. If you click on it and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you will be supporting my work. ❤

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