How To Grow On Illumination

A few kind words is all it takes.

As young children when we do something good our parents compliment us. They say a few positive soothing words which have the effect of making us feel good about ourselves. And this helps us to grow, over time, into decent healthy human beings and valued members of the communities in which we live, work and play.

There are studies that have shown that that a few kind words, a hug, a kiss even, helps the human body to produce a chemical called serotonin.

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter which helps to regulate mood and social behaviour, as well as appetite, digestion, sleep, memory and even sexual desire and function.

Now that need for serotonin does not just disappear when we grow to be adults. We need that naturally produced chemical fix all of our lives in order to continue in a good way all the way to the end.

For that reason, I always try to compliment everybody I interact with, be it a waiter in a restaurant or a friend here in this digital world where I spend a great deal of time.

The thing is, it is not only good for the recipient, but it is also good for the giver. And that is because the receiver then becomes a fellow giver, so you get back what you gave out. This is what is called ‘Reciprocity’, about which my good friend and fellow Illumination Top Writer Terry Mansfield wrote a splendid article.

As a reader, writer and editor, whenever I come across something that has been done well and has given me something positive, I always offer some comments to the writer. It could that person has given me a new idea, a fresh perspective, some useful advice, or just fifteen minutes of reading pleasure. I don’t think it is too much for me to say a few kind words to the giver.

Making a pact with your audience

Yes, I can highlight and clap, and that’s always nice to see. But what really fills my heart with joy is when somebody takes a minute or two to say a few kind words. And of course, I always say a few kind words back. It is what Remington Write would call a pact. It creates a connection, a good vibe, something which can have a very positive and long-lasting effect.

Yesterday I published an article on Illumination on some of the many hidden talents we have here. Amongst those I mentioned was Stuart Englander, a very very fine storyteller if I might say so.

Imagine my delight when the first article I went to edit was from Stuart in which he expressed his gratitude. Stuart speaks of the profound effects my inclusion of him and the few kind words had upon him.

“….I was flabbergasted and excited….”

I know that feeling Stuart, and that is one of the reasons I do what I do.

As Stuart quite rightfully says “ We all need a pat on the back once in a while.” If you give others a pat on the back, you always get a pat on the back in return.

If you do offer comments you will grow in the estimation of other writers, who let's not forget are also writers. You will also grow your network of readers and followers. Above all, you will grow enormously as a person and as a writer. And that's because when you get nice comments back, you will feel inspired to set about writing and getting published your next masterpiece.

A Personal Perspective

From my own perspective, just like all you other fine writers, I invest an enormous amount of time in brainstorming with myself, sketching out an idea, researching the subject, organising the material, planning my route through the piece, writing it up and editing it.

Now I may or may not earn some money from doing all of this. But that is very very low amongst the many reasons I do it. My principal reason for doing it is the sheer joy and pleasure it gives me. Second to that is the pleasure and benefit it may give to others.

And it is always an enormous pleasure when somebody reaches out to tell me that they got something from that piece. It is, as Stuart says in his article this morning, a type of validation. Yes, we can self validate, but it is always so much more powerful when it comes from others with the same or even better writing abilities.

So every time you read something which has given you something, spend a minute or two typing a few kind words expressing your thanks. I suppose in a less wordy way, I could say, give that writer a serotonin fix and you’ll get one back. It’s good for both of you, as well as for the rest of us. Or even better still, let's just spread the love some.