How Men and Women Can Start Bridging the Communication Gap.

It all starts with being willing to learn and change.

After facing various challenges in my relationship, I started to think about what aspects helped me and my partner become better at communicating.

The crucial part is that I learned we were able to improve because each of us individually decided to get better and work on our shortcomings.

This made me realize that no problem will ever change until we decide to change ourselves first.

With that lesson in mind, here are the most important ways to truly begin bridging a communication gap.

Empathy.

Without empathy, men and women will never understand where the other is coming from.

Empathy requires us to think about a similar situation we may have been affected by — it requires vulnerability.

Unfortunately, most people don't like being vulnerable because it means they must be honest about their struggles and mistakes.

Most people don't like to admit they've made mistakes or been hurt.

Empathy requires you to put your ego and pride aside.

Right now, men and women are constantly fighting and not getting to the root of the problem because their egos are always a part of the conversation.

It takes work, but learning to put your ego aside will make you realize that most of the time, the real issue is about what the other person has gone through, and they're trying to prevent getting hurt again.

When I realized this, I could have grace, forgive my partner easily, and keep trying because the issue wasn't about us. It was about his and my pain from the past that hadn't been dealt with.

Listening and hearing.

Empathy allows us to listen.

Men and women need to start truly listening if they want to get to the root of their problems.

Too many of us listen to respond. Not enough of us listen to understand.

Men and women suffer from this because they think their pain is more valid. Both of their pain is valid, but the only way to start healing is by acknowledging each other's pain, acknowledging they are both facing difficulties, and stop playing the one-up game of who's been through worse.

I used to do this at the beginning of my relationship.

I only wanted my pain to be acknowledged without leaving room for my partner to share his, and that's not fair.

As I said before, you will need to put your pride and ego aside, and that means letting your partner, or whoever you're having a disagreement with, say their piece even when you don't think you'll like what they say.

When you let someone speak what they're truly feeling and allow them a safe space, that's how you create a place for honest and genuine communication.

It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Self-reflection.

If we're trying to create real, lasting change, we must first look at ourselves and see how we're contributing to a problem instead of helping fix it.

Too many men and women are happy to play the blame game and point fingers without once looking in the mirror and asking themselves if there's a better way to do things.

We'd rather feed our pride and ego and fight against positive change than humble ourselves, acknowledge where we're lacking, and ask for help.

It wasn't until I admitted that my pride was getting in the way of creating a safe space for communication and my partner did the same that we both started to get much better at talking and ultimately understanding one another.

Get into the habit of looking within. Constantly ask yourselves questions about what you're feeling. Doing this will help you get to the root of why you're upset in the first place.

You'll find the majority of the time, it was about something other than what you and your partner initially disagreed about.

When women and men can look in the mirror and admit to themselves how they're perpetuating the problem, they can make real changes.

I hope these lessons can help improve your communication skills.

Whether you're in a relationship or not, these will help if you do the work.