3 Foundational Steps to Make a Relationship Work.

The feeling of love isn't enough. Love requires action.

Before I was in a relationship, I believed a lot of myths about what it takes to make a relationship work.

I thought the man ‘meant’ for me would simply know what I wanted and needed without me saying much of anything — he would always 'take the hint.'

I thought I would barely need to lift a finger to feel fulfilled, satisfied, and content in my relationship. The 'feeling of love' would be enough.

I thought I wouldn't need to grow and change.

All of these things are false!

Unfortunately, many men and women still think this is all true.

I'm here to dispel these lies and give you the building blocks of what truly makes a relationship work.

We need to be willing to see each other's perspectives.

We cannot understand each other without being willing to hear where the other person is coming from.

Healthy relationships cannot function if one or both parties are unwilling to see a different perspective.

The only relationship that will work with this kind of mindset is the one you have with yourself.

Choosing not to put yourself in another person's shoes, or at least try, leaves no room for change and growth, which is crucial to maintain any relationship.

If we want rich, genuine, and fulfilling relationships (not just romantic ones), we need to make an effort to understand where the other person is coming from and what's important to them.

This allows us to understand their wants and needs.

If we can understand each other's needs and try our best to meet them, the relationship has a real chance to triumph.

We must be willing to compromise, especially on preferences and opinions.

Basically, things that are important for one of you but aren't for the other.

After all, it's about reassuring your partner — a.k.a. making an effort to show them you care.

If only one of you is satisfied and content, it's only a matter of time before the other person becomes resentful and chooses to end the relationship because their needs are not being met.

After being in a relationship for over a year and a half, I've learned that just because I don't understand where my partner is coming from, it doesn't mean I can't make an effort to meet him halfway.

If we refuse to compromise, we forgo meeting each other's needs and are instead feeding our pride and ego.

When you feed your pride and ego, you may feel a few seconds of satisfaction but forgo creating intimacy, vulnerability, and connection with your partner.

You may not agree 100% with what your partner is asking, but doing it will show them that you care about their input, and that's what matters.

It's those instances where you feel like you're caving into something you don't fully understand or agree with that show your partner you love them.

We need to communicate openly and honestly despite fearing a negative or defensive reaction.

This is probably the number one problem that causes miscommunication, misinterpretations, and misunderstandings.

Too many times, and I'm guilty of this, we choose to keep quiet to avoid an argument or disagreement.

This isn't good because, over time, hiding your feelings builds resentment.

The longer it goes unaddressed, the more resentment grows. Then one day, one of you explodes, and your partner is caught off guard, not understanding where it came from.

Not communicating your concerns or feelings also takes away the opportunity to understand how your partner feels about the issue.

If you don't talk to each other, how will either of you know what the other is thinking?

This is how misunderstandings happen. One or both of you make assumptions about what the other is thinking.

We need to stop believing the false narrative that a healthy and good relationship is one where arguments don't happen.

A healthy relationship is where arguments happen in a respectful, honest, and clear manner, where both partners come to a compromise to meet their needs and make amends for hurting the other during that argument.

Keep in mind that to be heard by your partner, it's best to communicate respectfully and calmly.

Even if they react defensively or negatively, the best thing you can do for the long-term well-being of the relationship is to talk about your concerns and feelings.

Even if you're afraid, do it. Talk it out and try your best to figure out a compromise and solution — this is how a relationship is strengthened over time.

These are the moments that teach you how to best communicate and work with your partner to come to resolutions.

A relationship isn't strong because there are no issues. A relationship is strong because both people commit to working through any problem and back that up with action — communication.

Being willing to see each other's perspective, being willing to compromise on preferences, and communicating openly and honestly despite the possibility of an argument are the start of building a long-lasting, fulfilling, healthy relationship.

I hope these help you, either if you're already in a relationship or on the journey to finding the person you can do life with.