Challenge In Dating — We Don't Have a Worthwhile Education on Dating, Relationships, and Friendships.

It's sad to see how our education system is failing us in many different areas.

The education system in the USA is crap.

I know because I went through it, including higher education.

I'm not here to say teachers are failing us — teachers are performing miracles considering what conditions they work under.

But that's not the topic of this blog.

I'm here to talk about and reflect on how as teenagers and young adults, we have little to no education on the dynamics of friendships, dating, and relationships.

Most, if not all, of the information I've learned about healthy relationships and friendships, sex, and dating has occurred outside of the classroom or any educational environment.

I've done my research, sought out experts on the topic, or came across good information by chance.

I have a massive issue with this because many of the mistakes we make as teenagers and young adults could be easily avoided if we'd only had access to this information earlier.

We don't take the initiative to learn about these topics until we've been through enough crap and trauma and are fed up with it.

That's such a sad thing to say.

We choose to seek help because we're traumatized and heartbroken and can no longer tolerate the pain.

Parents and other adults do not take it seriously enough, and the next generation suffers the consequences.

Do you remember seeing a child saying they want to marry X kid or they have a boyfriend, and we laugh it off and think it's cute?

Yeah, we shouldn't dismiss that so easily.

A child is still innocent but also naive. Much of a similar mindset is still there when we're teenagers.

I know someone who thought they would marry their teenage boyfriend right after high school — guess what? It didn't happen, and their heart was completely shattered.

What I see here is adults had a role in educating this person at a time when they were vulnerable and didn't know much about love and relationships.

They didn't bother to tell them that it may not work out or that because they were so young, they still needed to learn a lot before making a decision as significant and impactful as marriage.

The adults who knew better failed this person.

They brushed this person's feelings off as 'not real' because they were young.

If you've learned anything about creating deeper connections and trust, the last thing you want to do is invalidate a person's feelings.

It makes them feel like they don't matter and can't trust or open up to you again.

They chose to be vulnerable with you; instead, you told them what they're going through is irrelevant.

I remember similar experiences when I was a teenager.

Whether I was having issues with someone I had romantic feelings for or troubles with friends, my parents treated it like child's play.

Instead of helping me navigate my feelings and the situation, they brushed it off, and all I learned is I didn't want to talk to my parents about my relationship troubles again.

This leads right to my second point.

As adults, we think we know what relationships are supposed to be like based on false assumptions and erroneous information.

Information learned in childhood, teenagehood, and young adulthood.

If our parents or adults did not take the time to teach us how to navigate romantic feelings, difficult situations with friends, and dating, who did we learn it from? Other friends.

Probably older ones who we looked up to but, in reality, did not know much more than we did.

We learned how to date and navigate relationships and friendships from other children!

No wonder we screwed up so much along the way.

Everyone was throwing crap at the wall and seeing what stuck.

We also learned from the media. At the time when I was in middle school and high school, Instagram and other platforms were starting to boom.

And since we didn't find adults reliable on this topic, who did we go to for help and advice? That's right, the internet *facepalm*

We learned backward advice like ignore him, and the boy you like will start paying attention to you.

Or, more recently — if he's not Prince Charming from the get-go, dump him. If he doesn't worship the ground you walk on, leave immediately.

At twenty-seven, I realize how little I knew when I was seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, even at twenty and twenty-one.

At that time, I pursued boys based on their looks, not their character. I made friends based on shared dislikes instead of likes and, again, character.

I stayed in friendships that weren't healthy. None of us were moving forward; instead, we encouraged each other's toxic and harmful behavior.

If an adult had taken the time to explain how important it is to choose who we let into our lives and influence us, we could have avoided half of the mistakes we've made.

Maybe more.

As adults, very few of us can look in the mirror and say what we're doing and who we choose is not good.

We're unable to see the negative consequences of poor habits and decisions unless we recognize that we made bad and poor decisions in the first place.

The first step to fixing a problem is recognizing you have one.

I got to this point when I was twenty-three years old.

I realized I couldn't keep going through life the way I was. God blessed me with realizing the long-term outcome would be terrible.

Even though the journey has been arduous, it still is; the growth and the lessons I've learned are worth it all because I will leave a better legacy.

Unfortunately, the people who choose to change are far and few in between.

It's not easy to look in the mirror and say the way you've been making decisions up until now is messed up.

It's not easy to look at yourself and say; you're probably the reason for 90% of my problems.

It's not easy to look at your family and friends and realize that as much as you love them, they must be kept at arm's length because they don't want to grow and change for the better.

But those of us who chose to accept we're not okay, and if we keep going the way we are, we will end up in a worse situation; we will change the course of entire generations.

This may not seem like a blog about relationships and dating, but the reality is who we choose as a life partner is one of the most important life decisions we will make.

As well as who we let into our close circle of friends. We allow these people the power of influence over us.

It's ironic knowing how important this is, yet we have little to no education about it.

Realizing the impact this will have, not only on you but on your children and their children.

We need to realize how big of a responsibility it truly is to teach how to navigate relationships, friendships, and dating.

How our lack of education is impacting us right this moment.

But we're making a change. The fact that I can write this blog with these lessons proves we can change for the better.

So, if you're looking to improve your friendships and relationships, it's time to do some deep reflections.

Look back at your childhood and think about all the lessons you may not have learned.

Take a look at your partner and friends, and ask if you're all moving forward or staying stuck in a loop where you're constantly dealing with the same problems and getting nowhere.

I hope this blog gives you some things to think about.

If you made it here, thank you for reading!