Here’s Why Most of Us Won't Heal.

If we don't take this seriously, the cost is our lives.

We don't take ourselves seriously enough.

I've learned that most people don't believe in the rules of life like actions have consequences.

People think they can beat life to the punch and do whatever they want without repercussions.

Many of us think we don't need help and that we are smart enough, strong enough, and wise enough to figure it out all on our own.

I've learned the hard way that this isn't true. We need to help each other, and we need to be humble and ask for help.

But humility doesn't come easy, and that's why many of us refuse to do the work to heal.

We don't want to admit being hurt because that means someone got too close, someone got the one-up on us, and our ego hates that.

We hate admitting that someone got under our skin.

Why is it such a big deal if someone hurts us?

Because our culture values a display of strength more than real strength — vulnerability.

Our culture has misunderstood what courage and bravery mean.

It's not running into a burning building and saving twenty people and all the pets. Although this is courageous and brave, as I said, it's not only about acts of valor and a show of strength.

Being vulnerable and opening up about what's hurt us in the past and present and what scares us about the future is one of the biggest signs of courage and bravery.

Why? Because it's exposing our inner child, our wounds and scars.

Our culture hasn't changed its definition of strength for God knows how long, but we're in a crucial time in history.

For the first time, we're beginning to fight these norms that we know are not good.

We're starting to live with the consequences of pain being left untreated for too long.

Wake up before your life passes and realize you should have done things differently.

The pain of growth and healing is far more rewarding and fulfilling than the pain of regret.

We think avoiding pain is easier than confronting it, but the truth is that pain left unrecognized will come back to haunt us and self-sabotage other areas we've progressed in.

I've self-sabotaged countless times and still do.

The difference is I can now recognize it and make a change for the better.

Unfortunately, most of us aren't doing this.

Why? Because of the first point I made. We're too prideful to admit we're not doing okay or we're doing things wrong.

Avoiding pain isn't easier than confronting it. We're fooled into thinking it is.

I've seen dear friends and family sabotage their lives time and time again. At first, it's small things like not showing up on time or not taking a warning seriously.

However, doing these things over time creates the illusion that you're getting away with it.

I've seen people's lives completely fall apart and relationships destroyed because they didn't take their pain seriously enough.

It broke my heart to watch this happen and not be able to do anything.

It broke my heart, even more to remove myself from these relationships and friendships.

We need to recognize our pain before it gets this bad.

Otherwise, we will NEVER move on to the next chapter of our lives. We'll remain stuck in a loop where we make the same mistakes over and over.

There's no way to avoid processing your pain.

So many of us want the how-to, the shortcut to getting it done without the work and effort, but that's not how it works.

I tried it for years.

I looked for the pill, the drink, the diet, and the quick guide. None of it works.

Instead, we end up becoming addicted to something to avoid the pain.

I became addicted to dieting, partying and drinking, and chasing attention from the wrong guys.

I learned the hard way after almost developing an eating disorder and ending up in the hospital, having to get my appendix removed.

Thankfully, I listened and took that warning seriously. But as I mentioned, many of us don't see or listen to these warnings.

The only way you'll ever start healing and getting yourself back together is by confronting your pain, preferably with the help of a therapist or counselor.

I've been working with one for four years, and it is one of my best investments.

I cannot tell you how freeing and validating it is to have someone, even if it's a stranger, tell you what happened to you was real and you're not crazy for feeling the way you do. That, in fact, it's normal.

I implore you, don't ignore your pain. Don't ignore your emotions.

I did this for years, and it stopped me from moving on to the next, better, more rewarding chapter of my life.

It also led me to develop terrible habits that could have had irreversible consequences. Luckily God was looking out for me and made sure I didn't screw up the rest of my life for good.

I share this with you so that, hopefully, you won’t repeat the same or similar mistakes I made.

I hope you’re able to start turning your life around. I did it, somehow. You can too.