How Genuine Confidence Can Change Everything.

When you’re sure of who you are, you’re unstoppable.

I never felt content with myself for a very long time (most of my life, really). I always thought there was something that needed fixing.

Fast forward many years later, I’m at a place where I’m okay with myself and my imperfections.

I have confidence in who I am, what I stand for, and what I’m capable of.

There’s a misconception about confidence, however.

I believed this misconception for a while, and it was definitely one of the reasons why my progress was delayed.

Many of us think confidence is a trait or characteristic that some people happen to be born with, like being able to sing.

But the truth is confidence is a skill.

Skills can be taught, learned, and earned.

I earned my confidence after years of personal development work. If I did it, you can too.

Here’s why earning your confidence has the power to change your life.

1. When you have confidence, you stop questioning yourself so much.

I used to double, triple, and quadruple-guess myself all the time.

Even when I knew the answer or was sure of it, I took a step back and second-guessed myself.

This came from a deep-rooted issue of perfection.

I thought that to be loved, to be accepted, to be respected, you had to be perfect.

If you made a mistake, that’s it; you were done, and there was nothing you could do to come back from that.

Fortunately, I learned (the hard way) that perfection is unrealistic and unattainable.

Eventually, I had to let go of the crazy expectations I had of myself and accept that I needed to make mistakes to get better at whatever I was pursuing.

The good thing is that the more mistakes you make, the faster you learn how to make things work and, therefore, the less you care about what others think.

You realize people’s opinions of you and your actions aren’t a factor, nor do they have the power to make or break you.

We think they do, but all opinions are just thoughts. That’s it.

And when you realize that, you learn to trust yourself and your choices.

2. When you have confidence, you believe in your abilities to get things done.

Making a bunch of mistakes is basically a prerequisite to earning your confidence.

As I said, the good thing about making mistakes is learning how to make things work.

This, in turn, gives you different skills and abilities.

Combine that with your newfound knowledge that people’s opinions are just their thoughts and nothing else; you realize you can trust yourself to get things done.

I used to fear being criticized and looking bad, funny, or dumb in front of others.

Now, I realize that’s a blessing. Because it means you’re doing your thing and living authentically.

No one can stop you.

Only physically, but I doubt someone is literally going to come into your house and force you to live your life how they think you should.

When people criticize you, they are projecting.

I’ve learned that when you start doing what you said you would, it bothers some of the people around you because it reminds them of what they couldn’t do but wish they did.

That’s a tough pill to swallow for many because they constantly blame their circumstances for not getting anything done.

The reality is choosing not to do something is a choice.

This means there’s no one to blame but yourself for not getting what you wanted done.

3. When you have confidence, you’re sure of who you are and what you stand for, and don’t let the world and its opinion control your choices as much.

The two above boil down to this super crucial freeing lesson.

Questioning yourself less because you know who you are and what you stand for and believing in your abilities creates this beautiful thing called confidence that frees you to live authentically.

There’s a saying — when you stand for nothing, you fall for anything.

I thought I knew what this meant for a long time.

It turns out that you don’t truly understand the truth of this statement until you decide to stand for something.

I chose to stand for my mental health; I chose to stand for being a cycle breaker and not continuing my family’s generational curses.

I chose to stand for living an authentic life and being myself.

I’ve had to defend and fight for that decision over and over and over.

This fight taught me that I could do what I set my mind to.

It made me believe in myself and my abilities and realize that it doesn’t matter what the world thinks of me and my choices.

What matters is living a life according to your beliefs and your values.

Earning my confidence changed everything for me.

I know it can do the same for you.