Relationship

Here’s How Life Changes When You Become A Stay-at-home Mom

Reminiscing my daughter’s childhood. I wish it would come back.

After working my entire 20s, I gave up my high-earning corporate career and became a full-time stay-at-home mom right before my daughter was born.

I also had burnout from my job, which I wrote about in detail here, and would have taken a break anyways. But motherhood made it more prolonged.

After the shock of bringing a newborn into the house, I mostly enjoyed being a mother and taking care of my bundle of joy — whom we named Oishi.

In fact, I enjoyed the process and the time spent with my daughter so much that I didn’t miss my career or didn’t think of coming back to the job/career, for a long long time.

By the way, I know what you must be thinking if you know the Japanese word, Oishi. However, it means “Gift of God” or “Divine” in Sanskrit.

Life in the USA

We were living in the US when my daughter was born. Apart from my husband, we didn’t really have family close by. My sister also lived in the USA, but that was in Michigan and she also had a baby around the same time.

Growing up in India, I saw new mothers always get help and support from close family. But I literally had no one to help me out during the first few months, except for my husband. And of course, the baby doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

So those, first few days when the baby cried for God knows what, I was terribly scared.

In a couple of months, I got a hang of it though. Feeding, cleaning, giving a bath, or everything around the baby became a routine, well, almost.

My baby’s first smile, the first word, the first time she ate solid food, the first time, she sat, the first time she crawled, or the first time she walked — my life revolved around her milestones.

I was grateful that I could choose to stay at home to take care of her instead of sending her to daycare and missing her milestones.

That was the pre-smart phones or even phones with a good camera. So, I would be ready with a camera to capture those special moments.

Life in Germany

When Oishi was around 15 months, we moved to Germany because of my husband’s job. I moved there with him as his dependent and didn’t have a work permit.

So I continued to stay at home and I enjoyed it more and more as my baby was no longer just a newborn.

Looking back, I become really nostalgic. She and I had a great time. Each day seemed like a gift to me. No amount of money or career could have given me that joy I received simply being with her all day.

We had a park with a children’s play area very close to our apartment and we went there every single morning and then again in the evening.

The little path from our home to the park was an absolute delight. My curious toddler would keep collecting acorns or would look behind the fences of other people’s houses in awe.

She would point at the birds and say something in her own language. During the autumn, we would collect the orange and yellow leaves and keep them safe somewhere.

We would water the plants on our balcony and the window sills. She would help me dust the bookshelves or the pantry. I would brush her hair and read her a story.

I can’t recollect how many times I have read to her “We are going on a bear hunt” or “The cat in the hat”.

Time for Kindergarten

Time flies.

In Germany, Kids start to go to Kindergarten around the tender age of two. When my daughter started going to Kindergarten, I found some time for myself to go for long walks in the nearby woods. We lived in a beautiful area in Germany and there were beautiful trails.

I also joined a German class again (I already spoke German for many years of learning both in India and in the USA).

That created a community for me, which I loved.

Bringing Oishi back from Kindergarten in her stroller (we walked to the Kindergarten), or taking her to the park again to play or chat with our lovely neighbors in the evening became our new routine.

Conclusion

The purpose of this article is not to demean the women who go back to the workforce immediately after birth.

I only wanted to show you how it’s to be a stay-at-home mom.

I am grateful that I could stay with her at home during the time when she needed me the most.

Yes, of course, my life revolved around her well-being. I had very little time for myself. I had no income and had to depend on my husband completely.

Before jumping into the decision, think if this is going to work for you because taking care of a child 24/7 is no mean feat.

People don’t value the job of a stay-at-home mom. In reality, it’s quite hard but at the same time very fulfilling.

The time off of the corporate world (and the outside world) to be just with my precious one can’t be compared. It has given me a lifetime of memories to cherish.

That baby of mine turned 13 a couple of weeks ago. I really miss that baby and how I wish those days would come back.

Thank you for reading my story.

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I loved reading this article by Dr. Preeti Singh, where she writes about the joy of meeting a new friend.

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