Have Your “Rice” and Eat it Too

Cutting back on carbs doesn’t have to cut like a knife.

When I first heard about the hot foodie trend known as “Cauliflower Rice,” I was gob-smacked. And skeptical as hell. Cauliflower? “Rice?” No way did that compute.

In fact, cauliflower rice made about as much sense to me as the Atkins Diet. How is it possible to stuff your face with the likes of bacon, butter, and cheese and lose weight? You face-plant in your Eggs Benedict, your heart stops, your body rots — and boom! You’re a bag of bones. That’s how you lose weight.

Dr. Atkins aside, for several years now, I’ve been very strict about my carb intake. I lost a bunch of weight that I don’t intend to gain back. And, although I love my pasta, rice, and grains, they don’t love me back.

When I was younger, I ate pasta with abandon. My Italian mother was a phenomenal cook and I devoured everything on my plate. Children were starving in China, after all.

When I reached menopause, my body did indeed “change.” It developed a layer of padding that made me feel like Mrs. Michelin. It wasn’t as bad as I make it sound, but I was suddenly uncomfortable in my own skin.

I was determined to lose the fat, and I did. I began to work out religiously, adding strength-training to my regimen, along with a vastly different approach to food and nutrition. Decreasing my portion size was a huge factor, along with watching my carbohydrate intake. No more huge bowls of linguine, pad thai, and the like.

Yeah, I know “life’s too short,” and all that. But I like myself better when I’m lean and mean. The good news? I found a stellar substitute for pasta and noodles. Shirataki noodles. The ones made with yam flour, not soy. As a breast cancer survivor, I do my best to avoid soy-based products.

Back to the rice: After some trial and error, this is what I discovered: Cauliflower rice is damned delicious! You already know, that as a cruciferous vegetable, cauliflower, like broccoli, cabbage and brussel sprouts, is good for you. These satisfyingly crunchy veggies are loaded with fiber and inflammation-fighting antioxidants. But if you haven’t tried the rice thing yet, you need to know that it’s quick and easy to make and that it also makes the perfect stand-in for the real thing. In any dish where rice is either an accompaniment or star of the plate.

“Easy to make.” That’s a biggie for me. I’m not the best cook in the world, but I try. And that’s the beauty of cauliflower rice: You don’t have to try that hard. This is all you do:

Get a nice, firm head of cauliflower. Trim the green stems and break the head into florets. Toss the florets into a food processor and pulse until they resemble rice! Want a quicker, even easier option? Purchase the already-processed rice at your supermarket. You can find it in the produce section, or in the frozen food aisle. My market carries it in both places.

As stated, you can use cauliflower rice in any dish that calls for real rice. I’ve tried it in curry, jambalaya, stir-fries — I’ve even made “fried” rice with it. Here’s how I made my last batch and please note: I rarely measure ingredients. I just do what feels right for me. If that sounds good, then follow along!

Add a bit of grapeseed oil, along with toasted sesame oil to a wok or pan. Add some chopped green onions, garlic and any other veggies of your choosing. I usually add a big toss of fresh mushrooms, shredded carrots, or anything else I have on hand. The more the merrier!

Stir things up for a bit until the veggies are softened, but not mushy. And if you want your “fried rice” as authentic as possible, don’t forget the scrambled egg! Push the veggies aside in the pan, no need to remove them and add one or two beaten eggs. Stir until scrambled.

Add your cauliflower rice, either homemade or purchased and cook until the grains are, well…”rice-like.” Again, you don’t want a pile of mush. An al dente chew is perfect.

Finally, add your seasonings of choice. I always add a bit more sesame oil, because I love the dark, smokiness of it. It’s very strong, so if you’re not acquainted with the taste, use sparingly, at first. Then, because I love my spice, I add a generous glug of hot chili oil. Extra green onions are optional, but they don’t hurt!

I’m talking major “YUM!” here. To make the rice even heartier, add chicken or other protein. Shrimp is a delicious add-in, as well. That being said, if, like me, you’re trying to eat more plant-based meals, skip the meat or seafood. You won’t miss it. Plus, you’ll be doing your bit for the environment. Something we all need to work harder at…like, now.

I hope I inspired you to give cauliflower rice a shot. Easy. Delicious. And it does your body — and the planet — good. Enjoy.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

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