Summary

The article advocates for men to incorporate "thumping," a form of grinding during sex, as a way to enhance sexual pleasure for women by focusing on clitoral stimulation.

Abstract

The article, titled "Guys: Stop Thrusting, Start Thumping for Great Sex," emphasizes the importance of clitoral stimulation through grinding, or "thumping," during sexual activity. It suggests that this technique can significantly improve a woman's sexual experience, as many women prefer grinding to traditional thrusting due to the direct stimulation it provides to the clitoris and surrounding areas. The piece references a TikTok video featuring a relationship coach and research from the Journal of Marital Sex and Therapy to support the claim that most women require or prefer clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. The article also addresses common misconceptions about women grinding on top, clarifying that it is a pleasure-focused act for women, not just a performance for their partners. It provides practical advice on how to grind effectively, including clothing choices, positioning, and movement techniques, to maximize a woman's pleasure during sex.

Opinions

The author believes that traditional thrusting is less effective for female pleasure than grinding or thumping.
There is an opinion that society's view of sex, often centered around male pleasure, undervalues acts like grinding which are more beneficial for women's sexual satisfaction.
The article suggests that women who grind on top during sex are seeking their own pleasure, not just providing visual stimulation for their partners.
The author endorses the idea that men should prioritize their partner's pleasure by learning and incorporating grinding techniques into their sexual repertoire.
It is implied that the prevalent cultural narrative that equates sex with penetration overlooks the significance of clitoral stimulation and the various forms of non-penetrative sex acts like grinding.
The piece encourages experimentation with different grinding methods, such as the "Vulcan V move," to enhance sexual experiences for both partners.

Guys: Stop Thrusting, Start Thumping for Great Sex

How a small movement can change your sex life

I watched a TikTok video the other day that opened my eyes to a whole other universe of sexual exploration.

Namely, I learned about thumping.

This article is about how guys need to stop thrusting and start thumping to up their sex game with a few simple movement changes.

Why Many Girls Prefer Grinding to Poking

In the TikTok video, a relationship coach said that most women prefer thumping to poking.

And that many women grow up grinding on pillows, stuffed animals, and the arms of furniture.

Why?

The simple answer is that it feels good. The pressure hits just the right spots, especially for women. Aka, grinding stimulates the clitoris.

I like how Shape describes grinding as, “any sex act where at least one person is stimulating their external genitals on something or someone.”

Fair enough.

Both guys and gals can grind. After all, a popular version of “grinding” is freak-dancing with someone sexy on the dance floor.

Shape goes on to describe the many forms of grinding:

Grinding can also be known as outercourse, coital alignment, tribadism (vulva-on-vulva grinding), or heavy petting. When all parties involved are fully clothed, it’s also dubbed dry humping, while when all parties are fully naked and rubbing their genitals together, it’s known as scissoring. In what world would a sex act that’s not worth enjoying have that many nicknames? (It wouldn’t!)

This brings us to the obvious conclusion: women really like grinding.

Grinding is what the TikTok video called “thumping.” It’s clitoral stimulation on steroids.

Poking (or penetration) feels good, but it doesn’t necessarily hit all the right spots at all the right angles. Direct in-and-out sex doesn’t always bake the cake.

Sometimes, women need a little more motion in the ocean.

Women Grind on Top for Them Not for You

Many guys complain that they don’t get much out of a woman grinding on top of them.

But that’s not the point.

Women are often expected to be sexually submissive and to please their partners. However, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be on top during sex.

As a matter of fact, there are multiple reasons why women grind on top.

First of all, it allows them to manage the speed and depth of penetration. This can be important for avoiding pain or discomfort. It also gives them a chance to really get in touch with our own pleasure and to focus on their own needs.

Grinding on top can allow women to stimulate their clitoris and the pubic mound, indirectly generating a nice buzz of pleasure in or around their G-spot.

Let’s face it, sometimes we all just want to let loose and get a little wild without having to worry about whether our partner is enjoying it.

The next time your lady is in the mood for some girl-on-top action, don’t hold her back.

If She Isn’t Orgasming, You Might Not Be Thumping

If you need another reason to grind, then you should know that grinding or thumping increases the odds that she will orgasm during sex.

According to research published in the Journal of Marital Sex and Therapy, 73% of women reported that they need or prefer clitoral stimulation during sex to orgasm.

Here are the stats directly from the article:

While 18.4% of women reported that intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm, 36.6% reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and an additional 36% indicated that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, their orgasms feel better if their clitoris is stimulated during intercourse. Women reported diverse preferences for genital touch location, pressure, shape, and pattern.

If your female partner is not orgasming, then it could be because you are not grinding.

When you thump, you not only up the chances of her reaching orgasm, but you also make that eventual orgasm so much more powerful.

Grinding Is the Pleasure of Scissoring

You may wonder why girls like scissoring at all.

If you’re of the mindset that sex equals penetration, scissoring probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. However, you start to understand the allure of scissoring when you think about clitoral and pubic mound arousal.

Two bodies scissoring certainly accomplishes arousal.

Consequently, this is also why women riding horses and sitting on running washing machines is a known cultural experience.

Also:

Pulsating showerheads in some baths and showers
Motorcycles
Video game controller (vibration mode)

Ever wonder why vibrators aren’t called penetrators? Now you do.

Here’s How You Grind To Maximize Her Pleasure

Knowing about grinding is not the same as knowing how to grind.

Some people consider it one of the most underrated sex acts.

I tend to agree.

Here’s how to grind her out of her mind.

Dress for Grinding

The right clothes can make all the difference. In private, go for a “less is more” approach. Underwear or lingerie works nicely. If you are in public, jogging pants, sweat pants, or yoga pants make body-to-body contact possible.

Get In Position

Find a position that feels good for you.

You can experiment with different positions until you find one that hits all the right spots. Once you’ve found your perfect position, it’s time to get grinding

Start slowly at first, and then increase the speed and pressure as you get more turned on. Pay attention to your body, what you like and don’t like, and let yourself go wild.

Run Speed Experiments

Start moving your hips in a circular motion. You can experiment with different speeds and patterns to find what feels good for you. As you grind, you may also want to direct your partner’s hands to areas that feel especially pleasurable.

There are no black-and-white rules when it comes to grinding.

Insert Penis, Move Up and Down

At the risk of stating the obvious, grinding is movement and pressure.

One of the easiest ways to test out grinding for the first time is to slightly tweak the missionary style. Insert your penis into her vagina. Instead of moving in and out in a forward to backward motion, keep your penis inside of her while you move the rest of your body up and down.

By “up and down” I mean while you stay parallel to her, horizontal, and still inside of her the entire time.

Once you’ve mastered this move, try others:

Swirling your hips in a circle (while remaining inside of her)
Making a wave with your body ( where your penis remains inside of her but dips down and then up again, stimulating her clitoris and G-spot)

Final Thoughts

There are other ways to increase the grinding pleasure during sex, too. Like the Vulcan V move, where the guy places two fingers, knuckles up, around the shaft of his penis while the woman sits on top of him.

The key is to introduce and maximize grinding.

Enjoy!

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