THE KRAKEN NEWS
Grandma News: The Grandma of a Top Writer joins Medium
Monday, 30 January 2023, San Francisco. In the early hours of Monday, the grandma of a Medium Top Writer created her account on Medium. The alert system functioned correctly, and Coach Tony was awake and dressed up within minutes. Barely taking the time to drink his power juice, Coach Tony ran to Medium’s headquarters crushing his Personal Best. He was live on Instagram for the whole 5 miles and allegedly told his seven followers, “you can’t imagine how happy I am. So many years of hard work are finally paying off.”
Precisely 88 minutes after the event, Coach Tony addressed the press. Most journalists were on site, and Coach Tony punished the lazy bastards who didn’t show up by putting his laptop on mute for the whole press conference.
“This is a groundbreaking event for us and the internet,” began Coach Tony. “This is the proof that our 2027 plan called BetterMedium is on the right track. We believe this grandma is the first of many grandmas to join Medium. We are now present in THE demographic that counts online, with almost unlimited growth potential.”
Coach Tony didn’t take any questions but invited all the attendants to an informal party that ended up with most of them drunk like skunks at barely 11 AM.
In Other News:
Online Writer Tried To Be a Better Human but Failed by incapable correspondent Jay C Wells.
Online Writer Kills Time for 90 Minutes and Then Goes Back Home by bacterial bard Bradan Writes Stories.
About The Kraken News — Writing Prompt by Bradan Writes Stories:
Grandma Smillew loves her afternoon cup of cocoa, scrabble, and her grandson, Smillew Rahcuef. She’s also a pink belt in social media and marketing strategies. If you want to make her happy, write for one of her publications: All About Medium and Grandma Power.
