Finding Strength in These Dark Times: From Survival to Resilience to Healing and Transformation
Many, perhaps most of us, operate in survival mode. We do what we have to do in order to keep on surviving.
Life easily goes into autopilot mode. But I’ve learned the hard way that neglecting to heal yourself takes a toll. Being resilient is a strength, but a person can still have resilience and be using a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms (as I did).
Owning your behaviors, how you regulate your emotions and how you respond to situations is key. I’ve learned that while resilience helps you to cope and survive, moving beyond resilience entails healing and transformation.
I’ve learned to emotionally self-regulate. I’ve found healthier coping mechanisms than alcohol and buying into hook up culture that just leaves me hollow. Earth medicines and motherhood were key for me here, as was aging, the wisdom aging has brought me, and growing out of my destructive mindset and behaviors. I’ve learned to prioritize my own self-care and self-healing. Yes, it is important to be there for your friends, but to truly help you show up for them, you need to first truly show up for yourself.
I’m stronger than I ever imagined myself capable of being. I know all of you are, even and maybe especially when you feel weak. The will to live and survive is strong. Some days I want to curl into myself and disappear out of existence. Sometimes all the burdens, all the negative thoughts, all the weight of the world, weighs on you. I know this feeling.
But I keep on, and I haven’t fallen prey to my earlier destructive ways of being. You think you can only be so isolated, take so much trauma or heartbreak, endure so much global chaos; but you learn that you’re able to withstand so much more than you’d ever have imagined to be possible.
I like to hold on to and savor the phrase, “The best revenge is to heal and move on with your life.” Indeed, by being the best version of myself and not letting myself get weighed down by past events, I am able to continue to heal and find renewed strength.
Life is hard right now. The best you can do is to be stronger because of it. Healing is the best revenge.
For further references, see —
Lattin, Don. (2017). Changing Our Minds: Psychedelic Sacraments and the New Psychotherapy. Synergetic Press: Santa Fe and London.
Pollan, M. (2018). How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence. Penguin Press, New York.
Rediger, Jeffrey. (2020). Cured: Strengthen Your Immune System and Heal Your Life. Flatiron Books.
Jain, Shamini, PhD. (2021). Healing Ourselves: Biofield Science and the Future of Health. Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado.
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