SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Existence is Exhausting

Day 40, 50 questions for deep self-reflection

I’m tired. So very, very tired. Part of me wants to just give in to that and go lie down, but a larger part of me knows that it’s not going to help because I’m not just physically tired. I am mentally drained and emotionally frazzled. I’ve had a lot going on, I mean, don’t we all? But I often forget about the source of constant energy right at my feet, ready to rejuvenate my depleted energy — the Earth.

This is day 40 of the 50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection challenge from Know Thyself Heal Thyself created by Diana C.

DAY FORTY: How can you let the Earth hold you when you feel lost and alone?

I’m barely existing

I’ve personally had a very emotionally frustrating week and it’s left me extremely flat. But of course, once again, the question of the day, so eloquently asked and perfectly timed, forces me to confront it directly.

When I first read this question, it was one of those ones that gave me an instant answer. Grounding! I love grounding. I love walking barefoot on fresh grass. I love sitting on the ground and meditating. I love just standing outside, relaxing, and listening to everything until eventually, my intuition comes through.

If you are unfamiliar with grounding, there is no need for me to explain because Aurora Eliam, CMP already did such a great job of it here:

But right now, it’s raining and though I like the rain, it’s not quite as conducive to grounding — at least, not for me. Anyway, I digress.

How can I let the Earth hold me when I feel lost and alone?

Am I lost and alone?

Lost and alone. Those are the words that kicked me more than, How can I let the earth hold me… That first part was easy to answer: Grounding. Done. But specifically, when I feel lost and alone? That is the part that made me stop and think, “Is that what I’m feeling right now?” Is my overwhelm a component of that lostness and aloneness? It makes sense. Overwhelm for me is that sense of having too much to do and needing to do it all now because it’s all on my shoulders. It very much gives me a sense of lostness and aloneness. I am lost in everything I need to do and alone because it is only mine to do. Of course, this is ridiculous, I know that, but it doesn’t matter. It’s still how I feel and how I feel is still valid.

Let’s adjust this question to my circumstances right now because maybe, just maybe, that will take me to the answer I’ve been looking for. Though I know, deep down (because I’ve gone through this enough times in a general sense to know), there is no ‘answer’. The solution is already here, waiting for me to allow it because a problem cannot be perceived unless there is a solution to allow its perception. And as always, the solution is to stop trying to find the answer. Just relax and let it be. But right now, I’m still in the stage of push, of trying, of need. So rather than denying any of that, I’m going to go with it. Once I push enough, I won’t need to push anymore. That’s when I will be able to relax into a solution. It sounds like a roundabout way, but it gets me there. It gets me there quicker than thinking that there is an answer. Anyway, I digress again.

How can I let the Earth hold me when I’m feeling completely overwhelmed?

Again, the obvious answer is grounding and I keep coming back to that. But I want to open my mind to see beyond that. So let me take a moment. Let me take a breath. Let me invite my intuition. Let’s see what comes through.

Allowing intuition to soothe my soul

Okay, so the response I received through my intuitive soul was to invite the Earth to re-energize me; to provide me the energy I lack, to refill me with that which I’ve depleted. I feel utterly exhausted, I said that at the start, but what I haven’t done is relax, meditate, and connect with the energy source of the Earth and ask it to refill me.

Could it be that simple? Yeah! Of course, it could. Actually, just saying it is already filling me with calmness. I’m not there yet. I’m still feeling overwhelmed. I’m still feeling exhausted. I’m still feeling so very, very tired. But maybe if I simply ask the Earth to replenish me, and if I allow it to replenish me, I’ll find that thing that I’m looking for - that ‘answer’ that already exists as the perfect solution and that existed before the problem. That solution that will only come to me when I do let go.

So, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll let go and I’ll ask the Earth to fuel what I’ve drained.

How can I let the Earth hold me when I feel lost and alone?

• By asking it to replenish my lost energy.
• By trusting that my connection to the Earth is absolute.
• By allowing my energy to be replenished by source.
• By connecting to the core of the Earth and everything living.
• By knowing that I am a part of something greater and that if I’m drained, it’s because I’m forgetting that.

We often forget the largest natural source of energy and life is right below our feet (or can be if we go outside). The Earth is an energetic and magnetic wonder that we’ve barely learned to harness into our own individual existences as tiny little humans. Maybe the Earth is the answer. Perhaps I’m exhausted not because I’m taking on too much but rather, because I’ve forgotten to appreciate and embrace the very ground on which I walk. Sorry, Earth. Let’s be friends again.

If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here:

Don’t miss out on anything! Follow/subscribe for notifications and be the first to catch my latest articles. Run out of free reads? Click here to join Medium now for access to everything. Please note, this is an affiliate link and I receive a financial reward if you follow the link to join. Thank you for feeding the author!