Emotional Sex Triggers My Orgasm
I never orgasmed with penetrative sex only. Until I fell in love with him.
Each time my partner and I have sex is unique, the same way I think it’s for you and your partner(s). The intensity varies; the positions are more or less daring and creative; the thrusting is more intense or more delicate. Sex is a world, and I love to explore it in its fulness.
Even if you have sex in the same position, all the time, the sensations will be different. This has various causes, like the way you’re feeling: if more or less tired; if you were previously aroused; if you are stressed or fully relaxed, and so on, and on. There are many reasons why sex feels different every time.
Your emotions affect deeply how you feel during sex, the pleasure you get. They influence it as much (if not more) as the sexual performance itself, the physical part.
If you read my work, you know by now that I am a kinkster, and Mr P. and I like to have rough sex, that we are into BDSM. Despite loving vanilla sex, it’s kinky sex that takes me to extreme pleasure. It’s rare for me to disconnect my mind in vanilla sex as I do it with kinky sex.
As I wrote in this piece, most of the times, my orgasmless kinky sex is better than my orgasmed vanilla sex. The intensity of the first provides me with a raw, intense and euphoric pleasure that the latter never does.
Kinky sex makes me connect with my body in a way that no other form of sex does. It also connects me with my lover more deeply and intensely: we read each other without words. When using whips, spanking or wax play, we need to be much more alert to the other, to our non-verbal language. We must recognise the sounds and the body reactions that show the other might be reaching the point of pain beyond pleasure (when the desirable is pleasure in pain.)
Regarding the orgasm, when I have kinky sex, often I feel fulfilled without one. Rarely I don’t reach one, if not during the scene, Mr P. will stimulate me after until I orgasm. However, sometimes I’m so satisfied with the scene — especially if I went to the subspace — that orgasm isn’t a “priority”. This doesn't happen in vanilla sex: I always wish to orgasm.
Emotional sex makes me orgasm almost immediately
Mr P. and I have been dating for almost six months. Around the third month, I felt I was falling for him.
We both had the “let’s see what happens” posture since we started dating, but soon it became obvious, for both of us, that feelings were emerging. We never spoke openly about them, but we felt it.
Today, we are in love and living a fun, relaxed and complementary relationship. Perfect relationships don’t exist, but none of us is looking for perfection, so we are both very happy with what we have.
Obviously, when (deep) feelings are involved, sex changes; it becomes more emotional. For me, there is no better sensation than having sex with the man I love and loves me back.
But not only sex itself changed when Mr P. and I became emotionally connected: my orgasms dynamic also changed. I never orgasm with penetrative sex only, I have to have clitoral or anal stimulation at the same time. Well, at least it was like that until recently.
Several times now, when having vanilla sex with Mr P., in an emotional state — the “making love” type —, I feel so deeply connected to him, so intensely merged that when he penetrates me, and holds me and kisses me; in the missionary position, that after a few thrusts only, I come, intensely. This has never happened to me!
I can’t attribute the merit of orgasming with emotional penetrative sex only to my relationship with Mr P. After all, I was happily married for many years, and I loved my ex-husband. Yet, I didn’t have orgasms in the missionary position.
The most significant change that happened in my sexual life was inside myself: I discovered my sexual self and embraced my sexuality in its full. Since then, I’ve been having the best sex of my life.
Even so, having embraced my true sexual self, accepting and exploring my kinkster side; having sex in a sweet vanilla mood or in a BDSM scene, until recently, I still never orgasmed with penetrative sex only. Not until I fell in love with Mr P. and accepted his feelings back.
Only after being involved in a romantic and fulfilled relationship, I was able to orgasm through penetrative sex only.
The main organ involved in sex is the brain. But should I dare to say that the heart also has a paramount role? Yes, I think I can dare to say it…
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