Embrace Your Imperfect Side
Foolishness is sexy.
Do yourself a favour and ditch perfectionism. Your self-growth will skyrocket. Your creativity will start flowing. Your nervous system will thank you for it.
First of all, perfection is not relatable. There is nothing exquisite about it. It moves you further from people and your authenticity. And genuine people are madly magnetic, right?
Second of all, perfection is way too overrated.
And self-improvement became a facade for striving towards perfection. There is nothing to fix anyway, as you are already complete. The key lies in allowing yourself to discover your authentic side.
Besides, when brilliant Ethan Hawke tells you to play the fool, honey, you follow the advice.
Where does perfectionism come from?
Out of deeply ingrained fears we don’t want to face.
We are afraid of not being enough, not having enough to offer. Thus, we force ourselves to mask missing pieces of the puzzle by striving to achieve the unattainable: the illusion of perfection.
We pay too much attention to how others perceive us and do not commit to serving ourselves.
Whenever you allow someone else’s behaviour to influence your life balance, you are turning off your power. And your power lies in the unconditional acceptance of your vulnerability and imperfections.
Golden rules:
- Learn to be satisfied with where you are, no matter what others may say.
- Learn to be content with life, no matter where others seem to be.
- Learn to feel worthy of following the path without gazing at others achievements.
After all, you are invincible. Do not listen to voices in your head or external opinions behind reasons you might fail. Those invalid comments stem from other people’s insecurities aimed at destroying your confidence.
Write whatever pours out from your heart. Read the content you enjoy, not because it is popular. Have the courage to drive the road less travelled. At first, you will feel foolish, but think how much resilience you develop when you become immune to the pursuit of external approval.
Give your perfectionist voice a break.
The research concluded that perfectionism is linked to health issues such as eating disorders, depression, migraines, anxiety, or burnout.
Dr Brené Brown draws lines between the harmful nature of perfectionism and striving for excellence:
- Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system.
- Perfectionism is an unattainable goal. It’s more about perception than internal motivation.
- Rather than questioning the faulty logic of perfectionism, we become even more entrenched in our quest to look and do everything just right.
- Perfectionism actually sets us up to feel shame, judgement and blame,
In times of compulsive obsession over unattainable standards of perfection, we should share our vulnerabilities more.
Declaring our authenticity, whether through writing, painting, or any other form of expression, should be our everyday practice, like meditation or breathing.
Sharing your raw thoughts is the most profound way of connecting with others.
Don’t be shy to play the fool.
I like approaching new experiences with a mindset: What can I learn from this? How can I develop my compassion and understanding of the world through this scene?
Whether it is a job interview, a friendly gathering or a new book, I do not assume I know it all and get to be judgmental.
Ask questions. Let yourself be seen and remembered. Write on margins and let your creativity flow. Each of us has the leading-edge spark to our personality. Not everyone is bold enough to act on it.
Do not be afraid to play the fool. Your expertise comes from experiences, not facts and figures crammed into your head.
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
— William Shakespeare
Every time you engage in a conversation with another human, you get to see the world through their lenses of perception. It is an exquisite art to master, as we get to perceive the same scenery each time through fresh eyes. You can speak with identical words, but your understanding might be strikingly wary.
The role of a fool is invigorating and liberating. Due to adopting this brave mindset, we can establish new habits and thinking patterns.
Authenticity stands for engagement.
Don’t suppress who you are by waiting for the polished piece. It will never meet the expectations of all.
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.
— Anne Lamott
I do not linger when publishing my articles. I make mistakes. I misspell. Sometimes I can do better, but I know with daily writing, I make progress and better pieces are on the way. Authenticity is your brand.
I write for the pleasure of it. I do not wait until I get perfect at it. Otherwise, I would deprive myself of participating in life. Any wait for the creativity, the flare of genius, that call from an interviewer withhold you from active engagement in your life’s creation. And through expressing ourselves, we get better.
Perfection robs us of enjoying life to its fullest. We are wasting our energy on tiptoeing around the best choice, when in fact, we strip ourselves of freedom to explore our potential.
Chasing rejection is the biggest form of self-development I have ever cultivated.
Be that kid again.
You need to get curious to know the world. Only through this practice can you know thyself.
Your foolish side is curious.
Your foolish side is not afraid to ask questions.
Your foolish side does not care what people think.
Your authenticity lies in expressing yourself through trials and errors, not through impeccable manners. And when we don’t mind people judging, we are genuinely happy with our choices.
We want to make mistakes. We want to grow. We want to learn and make better decisions than before.
Allow yourself for the relentless drive of childlike curiosity. Life gets much more fascinating and unpredictable when you stumble upon the way, ask questions and get your hands in the clay.
Perfectionism breeds criticism.
And criticism stems from feeling not enough.
When you chase the impeccable image of yourself because of what society expects you to become, you are stressing how worthless you feel.
You need more. You are not satisfied. You criticize your reality. You judge yourself in the mirror. This attitude spreads venom through your mind and infects your projections upon reality. You proceed with finding faults in others.
Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.
— Wayne Dyer
Why do we judge?
We only judge people we feel threatened by in some manner.
We feel like we are not doing enough, so criticizing lures us into the false security blanket. We may be lazy, but at least we are opinionated, right? We try to control the situation by instructing others how to behave, yet rarely do we recognize our shortcomings.
Perfectionism does not equal doing things impeccably.
I am guilty of practising perfectionism myself. I was afraid to fail, so engaged very little in new projects, meetings, or events. I was depriving myself of chances to grow or embrace new relationships.
I was merely floating through my infertile existence.
By establishing my new way of living, I may have struck a nerve with a few people. So what if I am less popular with friends? So what if I am less politically correct with society. So what if family members call me foolish? I am way happier and more balanced than I have ever been. I get to effortlessly navigate through my non-perfect lifestyle, and I am okay with that.
The bottom line:
Choose to be a fool rather than an insufferable know-it-all.
By embracing the role of a fool, you get to shape your character and become richer above your wildest imagination. People with no sense of humour, or curiosity for that matter, do not get rich. They get bitter, swallowed by their ignorance.
There is time for everything. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
- It is perfectly fine not to have it all figured out at once.
- It is perfectly acceptable to ask questions and look for guidance.
- It is perfectly normal to have doubts.
That is what makes life great and one of a kind. It constitutes our journey. I have learnt not to have all the answers. I have embraced comfort when second-guessing and following my own rules.
Make that blunders. Laugh at your grammar mistakes. Accept yourself unconditionally. Challenge popular conventions. Say the wrong things. Love people who may not deserve it. However, never lose yourself in it.
Don’t change your ways for the sake of others’ stupidity.
Thank you for reading!
I write to empower and inspire with self-love. Your biggest strength lies in your authenticity, so embrace the whole package. Wear your unique attitude proudly.
