Learn How to Boost Your Magnetism and Charisma

Research shows you can learn these valuable skills

We all want to be seen and appreciated. We connect attraction with being desired by another person. We make a mental link between external qualities and outside gratification.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Needless to say, being physically attractive does not stand for being magnetic. Instead of working on your appearance, it is more rewarding to commit to the connection within yourself. Literally.

Attractiveness is strictly connected with charisma. And charisma is an innate ability you can excel in. It all starts within you.

One of the most extensive studies on charisma found that it is not so much an innate capability as a learnable skill and has a lot to do with the ability to be fully present.

Mindfulness seems to be a luxury.

The research of Harvard University tracked that people spend around 47% of their waking hours not focused on tasks they are currently engaged in.

When we are at work, we dream of vacation. Once we can get away, we preoccupy our minds with tasks piling up. We run on autopilot, or more precisely, our monkey mind runs us.

Don’t you feel that having a conversation with another fully committed person is a rare experience nowadays? We send emojis instead of words, tick off our to-do lists, grab a coffee on the go. Everything seems to be instant and shortened to the maximum. If a mindless business is all the rage right now, why not standing out in the crowd and become present? It sure as hell will make you more memorable and time with you special.

What has awareness got in common with being attractive?

Can you relate to the following scenario? You are at the party. Your gaze is drawn to that one person, who is engaged in a conversation with another, listening intently, devoted to the action itself. He/she does not look around the room in search of a catch. They are the prize.

Genuine attractive people are self-conscious. They know their strengths. They know their weaknesses and are not afraid of sharing them. Charismatic people have honed the skill of being present, thus owning an energetic field around the body.

When they listen, you want to share.

When they talk, they captivate the audience.

Why? Because their mind is not preoccupied with anything else but the act of doing one thing at a time.

When our behaviours match our intentions, when our actions are equal to our thoughts, when our minds and our bodies are working together, when our words and our deeds are aligned … there is an immense power behind any individual.

— Dr Joe Dispenza

Due to mind and heart coherence, you become at peace and more connected with yourself and those around you. Research has shown that when you produce an extremely coherent energy field within the heart, it is radiated throughout your body. Frequencies emitted through your body make you magnetic.

So, it is official: being present makes you magnetic as f**k.

What is mindfulness?

It is a state of intentional attention to the present, the moment-by-moment, non-judgmental awareness of thoughts, feelings, and sensations. The monkey becomes the observer. No judgment involved. You do not dive into analysing your thoughts, nor do you push them away. You let them coexist together while not being controlled by your racing thoughts. You become the master.

Here’s the confusion: mindfulness isn’t a destination. It is a never-ending journey. If you were to chase it as a somehow distant goal in the future, you would miss out on the presence, right?

How mindfulness boosts your magnetism?

Mindful people:

• are happier and more secure within themselves,
• have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their weaknesses,
• are curious about the world and how they fit into it,
• can hear negative feedback without feeling the need to fight back.

A study of mindfulness affecting relationships has found that awareness promotes unity, connection, and closeness within the relationship.

Indeed, mindfulness blurs the line between self and other, explains Michael Kernis, a psychologist at the University of Georgia. “When people are mindful, they’re more likely to experience themselves as part of humanity, as part of a greater universe.”

#1. You heal from within.

If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.

— Eckhart Tolle

When your self-worth is shattered, you will always attract people who do not respect themselves, thus reflect poor treatment onto you. Becoming present means facing your emotions. Once you confront your traumatic experiences, painful past, you can let them go. The ‘letting go’ technique is a powerful tool that healed my life. Once you clean your vibes, you attract the right tribe.

Heart and brain coherence is the process that generates and creates emotions from within, rather than waiting for something outside to spark positive emotions. Instead, we create elevated feelings just for the sake of healing our hearts or creating joy. It gets easier to master our moodiness, grumpy days as we fall off the reel. Once you come back into the present moment, you realize you are enough, where you are is enough, and the simple joy of living is available to you any moment.

#2. In the now, the joy resides.

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

When do you feel the most attractive? When you are happy. And when can you experience pure bliss? In the present moment. I bet you recall entering a room and spotting out that one girl, not necessarily in the best dress, but exuberantly cheerful, having a good time.

Negative thoughts arise when we are too preoccupied with the past or the future. But here and now, those problems do not exist. Becoming mindful means becoming more open to the present moment without resisting what is. It is impossible to dwell on the past and remain conscious of your existing state. It is impossible to await the future and feel the contentment of where you are now.

By becoming more observant, you get to perceive the beauty of ordinary things.. As you already know, enthusiasm is contagious and seriously magnetic. Once you can recognize the harmony and grasp the simple joy of the present moment, not conditioned by anything external, you own the meaning of life.

#3. You harmonize your energetic field.

93% of all communication is non-verbal. Fearful thoughts, anxious way of being, speak volumes about your state of being. Your body emits frequencies and vibrations which are tangible by others. When your body enters the survival mode (out of fear, anxiety or worries), those frequencies become disrupted. When your vibrations are in chaos, your reality is not aligned with your heart’s desires. You cannot trick energy. And energy is everything when you connect with people.

Emotions are energy in motion. If every day, your negative feelings and emotions are creating the same energy by reacting to the same problem, then that energy produces a signal in the quantum field. If that signal comes from an incoherent brain and heart, then you are producing an energetic frequency that is carrying thoughts which no longer have coherence — they have less power.

— Dr Joe Dispenza

Mindfulness dissolves all negativities from your energetic field. Your aura becomes pure and blissful, thus attractive to others. When you remain calm and centred, people are drawn to your peaceful state.

Thoughts are the language of the brain, and feelings are the language of the body. The key lies in merging them with the same intention. Too often, we think one way and act differently. It disrupts our energetic field. We desire the outcome with our heart and body, but doubt our abilities on the mind level.

#4. The world opens up its possibilities.

Mindfulness causes you to become receptive. And once you allow for the new experiences to enter your reality, they serve you.

Being open-minded is another form of mindfulness. You perceive the world through lenses of understanding, even though people hold different views and opinions than you. Presence breeds patience. You no longer differentiate between right or wrong. No judgment enters the scene. When no judgment resides, a deep connection with another human can be born.

#5. You get to know yourself.

Throughout my journey with mindfulness, this bit is the most interesting to me. Since becoming aware of my reactions and thoughts, I have discovered a great deal about my conditional behaviour, upbringing and limiting beliefs. Whenever a problem arises, I catch myself going into a panicking mode, 99% for no reason. Whenever a desire is born within me, I discover myself limited by unreasonable beliefs why it should not work. When they hit me, I observe. I mock them. I question.

The result? By becoming aware of my blockages, I get to work with them and overcome internal chatter that hinders my progress. It is a liberating journey to get to know oneself.

Ever since I became present in my body, I attract. Not only the right people, health, prosperity, blissful harmony as well. I can go out with or without makeup and feel comfortable. I have no care in the world how others view me, what I might seem to lack in their eyes. The ease and joy became my mantras. I accept every moment as a gift, not as a nuisance or inconvenience, but as a precious lesson and door to the new reality. And that, my friend, is genuine attractiveness.

How to practice being present?

Becoming present in this moment is not difficult. You do not need any external tools, books or videos. They might help you to grasp the gist. However, all the right tools already reside within you. All it takes is awareness. No distractions, limit social media, carve out time and space for yourself and pleasure. Here are some useful tips when beginning your mindfulness journey:

• Start small. Whenever we focus too much on the desired outcome, it has a disobliging habit of slipping away. Think about the time when you feel anxious, like before giving the speech or having a challenging conversation. The more you think about it, the faster your heartbeat gets, and the more intrusive thoughts come up. Do not sweat the picture-perfect system right away. Let loose. Experiment. Approach the mindfulness practice with a mindset: Let’s see what I can observe from this.
• Breathwork. I bet you have already heard about the Wim Hof Method, and I stand by it. There are also many other videos of Pranayama techniques that can suit your taste more likely. The key to intentional breathing is to go all in, focus on the air coming into your lungs and breathing it out. Focus your gaze on the third eye chakra. Feel your body from within. Mindful breathing decreases blood pressure and relaxes muscles. It signals our parasympathetic nervous system to calm the body down, stopping thoughts from going berserk.
• Meditation. I cannot count the reasons why meditation should not be your daily practice. Meditating alters your brain. Due to chemical changes in the brain, your emotional patterns change as well. You become more self-composed, in control of your creation. What can be sexier than this?
• Accept your emotions. However uncomfortable they might get. We have a tendency to brush away any shame, burst out in anger or distract ourselves whenever pain lures on the horizon. What we do not realize is that every stifled emotion comes back stronger or manifest as a disease. By accepting all the range of our emotions, we become mindful of our inner state and can adapt it to design a new reality.

You can start practising now. Pay attention to your immediate experience. How do you feel when reading this article? What is happening in your body? How does your body feel from the inside? What do you hear outside? Do not label feelings as good or bad, just observe. Let them sink in. You can practice mindfulness everywhere: sitting on the train, walking in the forest. No distractions. No thoughts necessary. We tend to think and overanalyze too much. What is the purpose? More fearful expectations arise, more stress enters the scene. Practice, and it will become the habit, the one you will not need breaking.

Thank you for reading!

I write to empower and inspire with self-love. Your biggest strength lies in your authenticity, so embrace the whole package. Wear your unique attitude proudly.