Editor’s Choice — Top 10: Why You Should Never Use Writing To Get Love or Get Noticed

Let’s have a look at our top 10 stories today

Natalie Goldberg, in her book, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within, tells this tale: One of my friends was mugged on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. This friend threw up her arms and immediately shouted, “Don’t kill me, I’m a writer!”

‘Why did she think being a writer would save her life?’ Natalie thought.

Writers get confused. We think writing gives us an excuse for being alive. We forget that being alive is unconditional and that life and writing are two separate entities. ~ Natalie Goldberg

Sometimes, writers use their writing to get noticed, grab attention, and feel loved. When they believe they have written something good, the writers want to assure themselves that they must be good people.

We are good people before we ever write a word. ~ says Natalie Goldberg

We are lovable beings even when our writing is nothing but crap. Our self-respect is not linked to what we write — in any way. We need supportive people in our lives — people who regularly tell us that we are excellent writers, even when we are not.

But life affects us all, sometimes more than others.

Everybody loved Ernest Hemingway as a writer. But he was dissatisfied, depressed, and lonely in his life. Unable to forget his first wife, Hadley Richardson, according to AE Hotchner, he put the barrel of his favorite shotgun in his mouth. He pulled the trigger on July 2, after he was released from a hospital where the doctors thought he could handle his depression. But he could not deal with life anymore — though he could write well.

Sylvia Plath had an IQ equal to that of Albert Einstein. But she couldn’t deal with her father’s death, depression, and a cheating husband, the poet Ted Hughes. “I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb,” Plath wrote in her journals. She committed suicide at the age of 31.

Virginia Woolf was sexually abused by her step-brothers. Her mother died when she was 13. Her half-sister expired when she was 15, and at age 22, her father departed too. The two world wars also affected her brilliant mind. On March 28, 1941, she filled her coat pockets with rocks and stepped into the Ouse River.

There are many other writers and actors, like Robin Williams, who lived troubled lives. But they did well professionally. First, deal with life in a real way and let your work reflect the good things you learn along the way. Inspiring others comes back to inspire you. Never be fake.

Natalie Goldberg tells us to notice that we are already supported at every moment. “There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We should begin from this when we need support. There is the sunlight coming through the window and the silence of the morning. Begin from these,” she says.

She says we must have friends, or a family member, who tells us, “I love your work.” But she thinks we, as writers, are more likely to take negative criticism more seriously. We have this wrong idea about ourselves that we are not okay. “When we receive encouragement, we don’t believe it, but we are quick to accept criticism to reinforce our deepest beliefs that, in truth, we are no good and not really writers,” she wrote in her book.

Don’t write for love and attention — write to express your feelings. But, as a reader, when you find a good piece, acknowledge it. Write a short comment explaining what you liked about the story. Every writer needs to know your views on their writing.

A well-written comment can mean ‘continue writing,’ or ‘quit writing,’ in some cases. Be generous.

May we all meet in heaven café writing for eternity. ~ Natalie Goldberg

Here is a list of our top 10 stories today — see what you have to say to the writers after reading their stories:

10. Why Flattery Is Offensive To An Intelligent Person

Taryn Watson is a New Zealand based freelance writer and content creator. She helps businesses to succeed through effective comms management.

She is an excellent writer. Her writing style is frank, brutally honest, and very engaging. She is new to Medium and needs good words to keep writing.

Most of us have probably had this type of Manager at some point in our careers: The Manager that doesn’t know how to be a Manager, so they resort to unwarranted and overly familiar flattery in an attempt to get what they want.

The Beginning of the End: “Hello, my favourite *insert role here*. Can I please get you to do me a favour?” I sit, waiting, expecting to be asked to do something outside of the compounds of my role, like fetching coffee, or stationary.

9. We Still Have So Much to Learn From a Hundred-Year-Old Vaccine

Gizem Kilic is a scientist working on immunology. She is a wonderful new writer.

Her writing style is informative, direct, and engaging. She is new to Medium and needs your comments.

A hundred years ago, in 1921, two French scientists were convinced that the tuberculosis vaccine they had developed was safe for humans. The scientists Albert Calmette and Camille Guerin named the vaccine after themselves as Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG) at the end of 13 years of continuous efforts.

The first jab was given to a baby whose mother was died from tuberculosis shortly after the labor. The vaccination campaigns started around the world in the next decade. Currently, BCG is the most widely used vaccine globally, with nearly 4 billion doses in a year. It has been 100 years since its first use in humans, but we learn something new about it every day.

8. How To Get a Better Return On Your Content Marketing

John Teehan is a writer specializing in tech, business, parenting, pop culture, and gaming.

He is an exceptional writer. His writing style is frank, simple, and easy to read. You can learn from him a lot. Do check his other work.

Content marketing is one of the top ways websites improve their Google profile and draw customers to a site. This is a business’s opportunity to convert a potential customer into a paying one, but the content a business presents on their website must have value.

You can’t throw just any content up onto a website and hope it’s going to keep a customer there long enough to be interested in your product or service. You need to provide a web visitor with something.

7. Cutting Back on Drinking

Synthia S. is a Canadian writer and researcher. She is an aspiring therapist and a crisis responder. She writes about mental health, psychology, etc.

She is a superb writer. Her writing style is frank, to the point, and engaging. She is new to Medium and needs your kind words.

It’s hard to believe that it’s still January 2021. It feels like a lifetime passed since News Years Day. Since we’re still in the first month, perhaps you are maintaining your earlier resolutions, like wanting to cut back on the alcohol.

I mean, it’s okay to drink once in a while, but it’s also okay to want to drink less, especially if it’s interfering with our ability to make decisions and is impacting our professional and interpersonal relationships.

6. 3 Next Big Tech Things In The Healthcare Industry

Elena Beliaeva-Baran is a copywriter at Hewlett Packard.

She is a wonderful tech writer. Her style is easy to follow, informative, and to the point. If you like this story, do check her other work.

During the last 20 years, the World has faced such pace of a technological growth the society has never experienced before. In 2020, the World Economic Forum identified technologies that not only will emerge but also have the greatest potential to positively transform our society on a global scale. One of the industries that are getting a lot of interest and attention at the current moment is the medical technology industry.

5. What a journalism trip to Belize taught me about marketing diversity

Malin Curry writes stories on media, marketing, writing, and more.

He is a fine writer. His writing style is frank, direct, and thought-provoking. He is new to Medium and your kind words will help him find himself.

At 14, my mother took me to get a passport. It was my first real taste of adventure, and the possibilities that might await me beyond the border. Seven years would pass before I would ever actually use my passport, but when the time came I was more than ready.

4. I Only Feel Pretty When I’m Hungry.

Olivia Petris is a novelist, computer scientist, and cockapoo owner. When she is not on the computer, you will find her in the back of a bookshop that nobody’s heard of.

She is an excellent writer. Her writing style is frank, fun, and pleasantly engaging. She is new to Medium and needs your love.

The first time I remember noticing my weight was when I was four. It was the first day of school, and me being me, I was eager to make new friends: I’d been playing with another new boy in my class. About halfway through our play session, he asked me — in all sincerity — “Are you pregnant?”

Looking back, it’s laughable. But at the time it stunned me, and not because he was trying to be mean — because he wasn’t. But it struck me that he hadn’t asked any of the other girls playing with us that same question.

3. Planning for Dementia

Mick Brady is an author of the fantasy novel “The Darkest Eyes.” Freelance writer and editor, blogger. Her interests include politics, entertainment, women’s issues, and personal growth.

She is an excellent writer. Her writing style is honest, direct, and to the point. Do check her other work.

“If that ever happens to me, put a bullet in my head — you’d be doing me a favor.”

I’ve heard variations on that comment over the years, and I’ve entertained similar thoughts myself, I confess. Existing with a depleted stock of one’s marbles and the certainty that you’ll steadily lose more is bad enough. Knowing that your loved ones will be burdened with your care makes the outlook much more grim.

2. When “Thank You For Being You” Means More Than “Well Done”

Sara Kiani is a belated writer, M.Sc engineer, long-time wife, mother of one, communication enthusiast. She writes about mindset-shifting lightbulb moments in life.

She is an outstanding writer. Her writing style is intriguing, frank, and extremely engaging. If you started reading this story, you’d probably not click away without finishing it.

There it was. A picture of me on the whiteboard with the title Smells like team spirit hovering above my head. I was looking at the “employee of the week” section of the board.

What did I do to deserve it? I wasn’t sure, but it had nothing to do with my work performance. That I knew for sure, which probably tells you more about my work situation there than I’d like to admit.

1. How Exercise Changes Your Brain and Your Mood

At number one, it is Maria Cross. She has a master's degree in science and she is a registered nutritionist, nutrition science writer, specializing in diet and mental health.

She is an accomplished writer. Her writing style is frank, informative and absolutely engaging. She has written many viral stories. This may be one of them. Don’t miss this one.

You exercise to keep your muscles strong and your stamina high, along with your buff ratings. Perhaps you also exercise for your cardiovascular fitness. Now here’s further motivation to move that body: exercise changes your brain chemistry to promote better mood and memory.

Exercise works, and not just because of the buzz you get from having gone out and done something. Yes, exercise triggers the release of endorphins, chemicals that create a sense of euphoria. But there is much more to it than that.

This post is part of the Top 10 Series — you can meet almost 400 top writers with these links:

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Final Thoughts

If your story was selected in the Top 10, please share another one of your stories with a brief introduction and a short convincing review — in the comments. (Please write the review in the third person and start it with your name.)

I must have missed something today. I cannot read every story on Illumination and Illumination-Curated. I try — and fail daily — to read all of the masterpieces.

I am inviting you to join our private Facebook group for Illumination writers. Also please follow my publication — positive minds.

Dr Mehmet Yildiz has kindly allotted the top 10 series a full shelf on the front page of Illumination-Curated:

If you find any mistake, typo, or other error, please leave a private note for correction. Thanks.

To be included as a top 10 writer, read these curation guidelines carefully.

You can read my curated stories here.