Don’t Be so Desperate to Control Your Life

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of letting go of control to live a more fulfilling life.

Abstract

The article "Don’t Be so Desperate to Control Your Life" discusses the pitfalls of trying to control every aspect of life and how this behavior often stems from fear, ego, and a lack of trust. It suggests that by relinquishing control, individuals can experience a smoother flow of life events, as the universe may have a better path in store for them than the one they are so desperately trying to forge. The author acknowledges their own struggle with control and outlines five strategies to help others let go: admitting one's lack of control, focusing on what can be controlled, identifying and questioning one's fears, making peace with uncertainty, and staying present. The article encourages readers to trust in the natural progression of life and to have faith that things will work out, thereby reducing stress and enhancing overall happiness.

Opinions

The author believes that control is often rooted in fear and a lack of trust in the natural progression of life.
Controlling behavior is seen as exhausting and counterproductive to personal growth and happiness.
Letting go is associated with freedom from pain and suffering and opens up a world of possibilities.
Focusing on controlling one's own emotions and reactions is more productive than trying to control external circumstances.
The article suggests that making peace with uncertainty is essential for a tolerable life.
It is the author's opinion that staying grounded in the present is crucial to avoid disappointment and stress from future expectations.
The author advocates for trust in the universe and the timing of life events, suggesting that this trust is key to enjoying life and reducing unnecessary worry.

You forget to live it

Have you noticed how things go so much more smoothly when you learn to let go of control and allow them to happen naturally? Like how the text message never comes when you are focused on the phone, but the moment you put it down and walk away it comes in.

I'll admit I'm a bit of a control freak. I want things to happen when I want them to. I am impatient and I hate sitting around waiting for things to happen. But I also realized that trying to control everything is exhausting and I narrowed the reason I control things to three things; fear, my ego, and lack of trust.

Control is rooted in fear. The ego wants things to happen when it wants them to and a lack of trust that things will not happen if we do not force them to. So we push, we kick and we fight.

But things go more smoothly and better than expected when we let go of control and allow them to happen instead of forcing them.

Often times, the life we so desperately want is not the best path for us — when we can trust that we are okay no matter what path we are on, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities.

Letting go leads to freedom. When we let go, we free ourselves from our pain and suffering that is holding us back.

So how can we let go of control and surrender to the natural flow of things? How can we stop focusing on the outcome and trust that things will happen on their own time, no matter how hard we try to control them?

Here are 5 ways to learn to let go of control and enjoy life

2. Focus on What You Can control

Life is full of uncertainties, but if there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that things will happen that are outside of our control. Instead of focusing on the things that are out of our control, we can put our focus on those things that we can control. Like ourselves, our emotions and our reactions to the situations life throws our way.

3. Name Your Fears

Control is rooted in fear. Find the reason you need to control every aspect of your life. Is it because you have a fear of the unknown? We try to control things because we are scared of what will happen if we leave it to fate. Question the validity of your fear and bring it into your awareness. Fear is simply false evidence appearing real even when it's not.

4. Make Peace with Uncertainty

Life is full of unknowns. Yes. And no one knows what happens in the future, so make peace with the fact that life is uncertain and that's just the way it is — and there is nothing anybody can do about it. Build a tolerance for uncertainty and accept it as part of life. Identify which of your worries are productive and which ones are making you miserable.

Let Go and Live Your Life

Holding on to things we can’t control can cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness. It keeps us stuck in the past and prevents us from growing and enjoying our lives. To be happy and free, we need to learn to let go.

Have faith that things will work out. Don’t allow fear to lead you down a spiral of unnecessary worry and stress. If you catch yourself trying to control things, take a moment to breathe, accept that you don't have control over anything other than yourself, and trust that it will all work out. It always does.