Take Control of Your Emotions

So it doesn't take control of your life

Emotions are the driving force of our lives. When we are angry, we yell. When we are sad, we cry. When we are happy, we show it. Our emotions are powerful and need to be controlled, or they can control us.

Your emotions could drive you downhill and cause you a lot of issues and even affect your wellbeing if you do not learn to control them. But learning to control your emotions is no easy task. It requires patience, a strong intention, dedication, forgiveness, lots of self-love, and self-care.

Controlling Your Emotions Won't Be Easy

It's easier to control your emotions when you are in a high vibration. Controlling your emotions is different from ignoring them. Ignoring your emotions won’t let them go away. It only gets bottled up and will someday explode. Acknowledge the way you feel, no matter what, because your feelings are valid — but it is important to not get stuck in your emotions.

When you are sad or angry, feel it. Address it. Understand why you feel that way and take action. Control your emotions by immediately acknowledging what you are feeling when emotions arise to the surface. Observe them, understand them, and then release them.

Releasing them does not mean you magically stop feeling those negative emotions — releasing them means you let go and surrender.

Our thoughts control our emotions and then our actions. Life is better when we are experiencing positive emotions. We are happier and calmer and it shows in the way we feel, the way we act, and the way we talk.

It is our negative emotions that we need to worry about. Negative emotions if not careful can wreak havoc on our lives. Mastering your emotion is no simple task. It needs daily practice.

What Triggers You?

Negative emotions were ruining my life. Past traumas and mistakes were haunting me. It was making me angry, sad, and unhappy. It was making me sick. My thoughts were out of control — I was aware of this. But trying to control my thoughts and emotions was difficult.

We can't always control what happens to us. We are bound to get triggered at any point in time. The trick is knowing the things that trigger you and reducing them if you can't eliminate them.

My trigger was coming from my 4-year-old daughter. Being separated from her father, there are times where she’d return from her dads and innocently say things and as an empath, it would trigger deep things within me.

I was living a life where my own daughter was causing me great pain. And because I can't eliminate or stay away from my child, controlling my emotions became my top priority.

Your trigger could be your husband or boyfriend, your parents, your best friend, your roommate, certain movies and songs, or even your own kids who constantly remind you of the past hurtful situations.

You can eliminate some of your triggers and others are permanent. If you find your triggers are permanent and can't simply get rid of them, taking control of your emotions is your next best choice.

Calming yourself down when you’re frustrated is easily said than done. If you take your anger out on innocent people, then your emotions could cost you important friendships and relationships, your career, and even your wellbeing.

Here are 7 things that helped me better handle my triggers and take control of my emotions.

1. Self-awareness

The first step to gaining control over your emotions is awareness. If you are not aware when your emotions are taking over you, it is impossible to control them.

It is important to tune in to gain a broader perspective of your situation. Delve deeper into your feelings so you can see signs that will help you better understand yourself and develop your own unique coping skills.

Sometimes we find it difficult to identify what we are feeling. Ask yourself questions like “What is wrong? Why do I feel this way?” The answer always lies within you.

2. Ask For Divine Guidance

Because sometimes we need to admit that we can't do it on our own and we need help. Our thoughts and emotions hold massive power. Having a relationship with something higher than yourself can help calm your fears and anxiety.

When you believe in a higher power, you also believe you will be guided and shown what to do when you are triggered. Whenever I feel dense emotions coming on, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and ask for guidance.

3. Figure Out The Cause

Pay close attention to what’s really going on inside of you. Figuring out what you are feeling and why can take the sting out of the emotion.

Look for the triggers that may have caused you to feel the way you feel. Understanding where your emotions come from is crucial to help you manage and control them.

4. Set A Strong Intention

Setting an intention is such a powerful thing you can do in every aspect of your life. Set an intention that you will no longer allow triggers to affect you. Forgive your triggers, whatever form it may come. When you forgive, you detach.

Setting an intention before attempting to control your emotions is powerful because it’s the first step to embodying how you wish to feel. Your intention creates your reality. Focus on your intentions when you feel strong emotions coming on. Intentions can help you stay grounded when things feel shaky.

5. Shift your thoughts

Sometimes, you need to change the way you are thinking about the situation. Changing your thoughts will not change the situation, but it will replace the thoughts that are causing you pain with thoughts that ease the pain.

Your thoughts directly affect the way you feel — if you feel bad, there is a negative thought. If you look at your situation from a different perspective, you will begin to feel a little better. What you focus on grows.

6. Find A Healthy Outlet

Reacting immediately to emotional triggers can be a huge mistake you might regret later. When you get triggered, breathe, and avoid reacting right away. Take a break to calm yourself first.

If you find that you are too riled up, you must release it in a healthy way. You should never bottle up your emotions. Talk to someone you trust about the way you feel.

Write in your journal or make some art if you don't have people to talk to. Exercises like boxing, running, and swimming is also great to release pent up anger.

7. Adopt A Spiritual Practice

Meditation can bring you to a peaceful state of being and help you connect to your higher self. It helps you increase your awareness of all feelings and experiences. When you meditate, you teach yourself to sit with your feelings. To notice them without judgment or trying to change them or make them go away.

Mantras and affirmations work well too. Come up with a phrase to repeat to remind yourself to stay calm.

“Everything is ok. There is nothing wrong. The universe has my back. Everything is happening in divine order. I am the master of my own emotions”.

Journaling is great. Writing your feelings and the responses they trigger can help you uncover any disruptive patterns. Prayer also works very well for me.

Controlling Emotions Is Difficult But It Can Be Done

Be gentle with yourself. If you’ve tried all the above and are still struggling, show yourself compassion. Some emotions are too powerful to be controlled. Past experiences, traumas, and grief can be too overwhelming. And that’s okay. You are human.

When emotions are too strong to control, stop fighting, and start accepting. Sit with them until it passes. Be there for yourself and love yourself even more.

Don’t resist or try to push them away. Surrender and release control and leave everything in the hands of the divine. And then focus on gratitude to bring in feelings of peace and calm. It is well.

Now I want to hear from you. What can you add to the list to help us better control our emotions? What works best for you? Let us know in the comments below and thank you so much for reading.

Originally published on my blog | Let's connect if you are ever on Instagram.