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Abstract

admedium.com/how-long-is-the-love-bombing-stage-with-a-narcissist-4733ff08df60">love bombed</a>, your passion in bed.</p><p id="f7f7">Unfortunately, this intensity is not a result of your prowess, your love for them, or their feelings for you. It’s a result of great polarity, great energetic charge between the two of you, generated by their intermittent reinforcement, the way they create and maintain a trauma bond with you.</p><p id="7a11">It’s this trauma bond and addiction to intermittent reinforcement that makes you attracted to narcissists even after escaping a relationship with one. The intensity is hot. It feels like the most amazing chemistry. Everything else pales by comparison.</p><h2 id="771e">The narcissist may also go through withdrawal from other resources you provided</h2><p id="14b1">This is different than simple greed or wanting of things.</p><p id="1750">The narcissist may actually be addicted to</p><ul><li>Status</li><li>High profile connections and parties</li><li>Luxury lifestyle</li><li>Your caretaking</li><li>Being able to do whatever they want whenever they want</li></ul><p id="a1aa">You’ll see this in the divorce when your relationship ended because the narcissist had a fiancée and 3 other romantic partners, yet the narcissist wants spousal support from you to support their “lifestyle.” Their lifestyle was expensive because they were cheating on you and now, they want you to pay for it indefinitely.</p><p id="9ae9">You’ll also see it when they want you to continue to manage aspects of their business, their medical care, or their personal relationships.</p><p id="69d3">If their idealized self, their persona, was reinforced by a resource you provided, they will go into significant withdrawal when it’s removed.</p><h2 id="0fbc">Is it as hard for them as it is for you?</h2><p id="52bd">Maybe, but not for the same reasons. They worked really hard to create a scenario to get maximal supply and other resources for minimal effort and that scenario is gone. It’s like the rug has been ripped out from under them.</p><p id="416b">They may be add

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icted to intense emotions or something you provided in the same way you’re addicted to intermittent reinforcement.</p><p id="2c0c">But are they longing for you, wanting you back, realizing they made a mistake, or heartbroken? No. That’s yours alone.</p><p id="f479"><b><i>Disclaimer: </i></b><i>This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.</i></p><p id="7eba"><b>Dr Melissa Kalt, MD</b> is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding after effects of narcissistic abuse. Download her free risk-assessment guide, <a href="http://narclesslife.com/">3 Hidden Financial Risks Every High Income Woman MUST Avoid While Coparenting with a Covert Narcissist</a> and find information on working with her on <a href="https://melissakaltmd.com/">her website</a>.</p><p id="fa0f">Recommended for you: <a href="https://readmedium.com/11-surprising-characteristics-that-make-you-the-ideal-narcissist-victim-8c919383bfa1">11 Surprising Characteristics that Make You the Ideal Narcissist Victim</a> and <a href="https://readmedium.com/do-covert-narcissists-actually-become-obsessed-with-their-victims-83584258f5b">Do Covert Narcissists Actually Become Obsessed with Their Victims?</a></p><div id="1162" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@MelissaKalt/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Melissa Kalt, MD</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*QkYKhmoXiUKhZFoN)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Does the Narcissist Feel Withdrawal After You’ve Gone No Contact?

Is it as hard for them as it is for you?

Whether or not the narcissist feels withdrawal from you really depends on how you define “you.”

The narcissist doesn’t have withdrawal from the real you — a caring, compassionate, hoping, dreaming being — because to them you don’t exist.

You’re an object that meets their needs. If another object meets their needs, they no longer need or want you.

The narcissist may feel withdrawal from their ideal vision of you and what you provided.

The narcissist may experience withdrawal from the narcissistic supply you provided

First and foremost, to the narcissist you were a source of narcissistic supply. Narcissists require narcissistic supply for their very survival. They will do anything to get it and anything to keep it.

Even if a narcissist has several other sources of supply, there will still be a gap, a void, when your supply is gone — as happens when you go no contact.

The narcissist will feel this void and much like an addict seeks a “fix.” The narcissist will try to make contact to get that supply back.

The narcissist may experience withdrawal from the intensity of emotions

The narcissist may be addicted to the intensity of your fighting and makeup sex, your love for them when thoroughly love bombed, your passion in bed.

Unfortunately, this intensity is not a result of your prowess, your love for them, or their feelings for you. It’s a result of great polarity, great energetic charge between the two of you, generated by their intermittent reinforcement, the way they create and maintain a trauma bond with you.

It’s this trauma bond and addiction to intermittent reinforcement that makes you attracted to narcissists even after escaping a relationship with one. The intensity is hot. It feels like the most amazing chemistry. Everything else pales by comparison.

The narcissist may also go through withdrawal from other resources you provided

This is different than simple greed or wanting of things.

The narcissist may actually be addicted to

Status
High profile connections and parties
Luxury lifestyle
Your caretaking
Being able to do whatever they want whenever they want

You’ll see this in the divorce when your relationship ended because the narcissist had a fiancée and 3 other romantic partners, yet the narcissist wants spousal support from you to support their “lifestyle.” Their lifestyle was expensive because they were cheating on you and now, they want you to pay for it indefinitely.

You’ll also see it when they want you to continue to manage aspects of their business, their medical care, or their personal relationships.

If their idealized self, their persona, was reinforced by a resource you provided, they will go into significant withdrawal when it’s removed.

Is it as hard for them as it is for you?

Maybe, but not for the same reasons. They worked really hard to create a scenario to get maximal supply and other resources for minimal effort and that scenario is gone. It’s like the rug has been ripped out from under them.

They may be addicted to intense emotions or something you provided in the same way you’re addicted to intermittent reinforcement.

But are they longing for you, wanting you back, realizing they made a mistake, or heartbroken? No. That’s yours alone.

Disclaimer: This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.

Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding after effects of narcissistic abuse. Download her free risk-assessment guide, 3 Hidden Financial Risks Every High Income Woman MUST Avoid While Coparenting with a Covert Narcissist and find information on working with her on her website.

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