ROGUES’ GALLERY RANT
Do You Really Believe “Everyone Deserves More?”
When the F did that piece of fiction take off?
Here’s a tip for any budding advertising and marketing copywriters, trolling around this platform. Just because T-Mobile or other telecom or some insurance company with an actor as its mouthpiece ends their spiels with “Because we all deserve more,” that doesn’t mean it’s true.
I call that “lazy creative.” In fact, it’s more than that. It’s bullshit. And, if I was an executive creative director and you were to present that manner of tripe to me, you’d be circulating your resume on the double.
And here’s more bullshit: “Because we all deserve better.”
Think about it. “Deserve” is probably one of the most ill-used, over-used words in our lexicon. Because come on. Do we honestly think that everyone deserves “more,” or “better?” Who, with half a brain, falls for this?
Does the slob who dumps his discarded face mask on your lawn deserve better? Hell, no. He deserves a bucket of turds dumped over his head.
How about your toxic boss? You know. The one who makes you come into work sick and then gives you shit for coming into work, sick. What do you think he or she deserves, other than a hot poker shoved up their ass?
According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word “deserve” references the following:
To do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment).
Now, naturally, these bullshit advertising taglines are clickbait, used to tug at our heartstrings while we sit on our fat asses on our sagging sofas as the world goes to hell, in the hope that we dupes snatch up our overpriced phones and jump on the 800 number that will — the very next day — deliver us our just desserts.
SNL’s Kate McKinnon, who I think is a brilliant comic, is the face of T-Mobile and ends their spots with one of the lines I referenced above.
How I would have loved to have heard her intone, “Because some of us deserve more.”
And that is the truth. Some folks absolutely deserve more.
Those people who work their asses off every day at mundane jobs, perhaps more than one, to feed themselves and their families deserve more.
Healthcare workers, who are putting themselves at risk by tending to the selfish anti-vaxxers, deserve more.
First responders, who put their lives on the line every day, for people like you and me, deserve more.
Animal rights activists who actually give a shit about the creatures we share our planet with, and frequently get thrown in the clink because of it, deserve more.
Workers in service industries who get talked down to and spat on and stiffed on the reg by cheap bastards in designer apparel, deserve more.
The homeless veteran on the side of the road, freezing his ass off in the hope that someone will notice he’s alive, deserves more.
Immigrants who come to the U.S. and take on the lowest level jobs, the ones that nobody else wants, in pursuit of the “American Dream,” deserve more.
And, on a lesser level, many writers here on Medium deserve more, and better. A bigger piece of the pie and more recognition for our efforts. Notice, I didn’t say “all writers,” because that would be bullshit, as there are people here who simply cannot write but feel the need to tell the rest of us how to do so.
Conversely, do you think the following group of assholes deserves “more, or better?”
Donald Trump: Racist, sexist, felonious, lying piece of shit. Harvey Weinstein: Sexual predator. Kim Jong-un: Bat-shit-crazy leader of North Korea and often called the “meanest man on the planet.” Marjorie Taylor Greene: Congressional bimbo who called a survivor of a school shooting a “coward.” Mark Zuckerberg: Richer-than-God, entrepreneurial asshole par excellence.
How about all the Covid profiteers? Those investors and Big Pharma execs who’ve made billions off the deaths of countless individuals. What do you imagine they deserve?
And then, there are all the countless, faceless, “little” people who are beyond horrible in their own right. Or too stupid to get out of their own way.
Do they deserve “more,” or “better?”
Perhaps this sounds harsh. But we all know that the human race can suck. We have more than enough evidence to back this up.
Yes. I’m ranting. But, as writers, our words are supposed to mean something, are they not? Or should we just spit out whatever pops into our heads because we can’t be bothered to put any actual thought into our prose?
Because we can’t be bothered to give people more.
Yeah. So, enough with the bullshit.
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Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. She is currently pitching her newest screenplay, “The Month We Fell Apart,” a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story, as well as “DEAD TIRED,” a female-driven, ass-kicking thriller.
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