Dear Xander: Dealing with Basement Lock Up and a Tiny Human

A feline advice column for other felines

Dear Xander is an advice column from a feline, for feline readers.

Xander is always in need of questions to answer.

If you have a question for Xander, please leave it in the comments and he will answer in a future column.

Dear Xander:

I am so mad. My human makes me go to the basement at night time.

There are soft places to sleep and toys, of course. My food, water, and cat box are there, too. The issue isn’t whether I have my things around me.

The issue is the evil, closed door.

Why does my human put me down there and close the door? Why can’t I sleep with my human at night?

What is going on?

Angry to be Locked Up

Dear ATBLU:

Excuse me, but WHAT? Humans do things that are unacceptable sometimes.

I am so sorry your human is leaving you behind a shut door. This is another example of a time when opposable thumbs would be helpful.

There must be something going on upstairs. It could be an unsafe situation your human wants to protect you from. When my human was having furniture moved in and out, we were stuck in the room with the human cat box for a long time.

Anya figured out that they were worried we would go outside. She talked to one of the outdoor cats through the window and he gave her that idea. Makes sense. The door kept opening and closing.

Whatever the reason, if your human treats you well, it must be for your own good.

Until we get opposable thumbs, we must accept things like this. Settle in with your toys. If you are lonely, maybe your human could turn on one of those small boxes that have voices and music playing. Sometimes my human does that when she leaves the house.

I am lucky. Anya and I can keep each other company when we are alone in the house.

Make sure you leverage this situation for more treats. You might even be able to leverage it for more wet food. When my human feels guilty, I get more treats and more wet food.

Good luck.

Xander

Dear Xander:

I was very happy with my humans until recently. What changed? A small, smelly, loud human happened.

Okay, the smelly part is cool. The loud part is terrible. That isn’t where the problem stops, though.

My food used to appear like clockwork. Every. Single. Day.

Now my humans are so distracted with the small one, the food time changes. It is chaos! How am I expected to deal with this?

My only move so far has been to knock over small things on tables and counters. What else can I do?

Why is My Food Late?

Dear WIMFL:

First off, I have never had a small human move into the house. I have had small humans visit, though. When they aren’t yelling, they are kind of fun.

My advice about dealing with the little human is to enjoy sniffing. Be careful that your fur isn’t pulled a lot though. Those little paws with fingers can really grab on.

As far as your food schedule, this is not to be borne! Humans aren’t that smart, remember. They may not realize knocking items off tables is intended to get their attention.

I need to remind my main human that it is wet food time every day. There is a time every day when she is in the kitchen messing with metal bowls and stuff. It alerts me to stand near her feet and meow. If she ignores me, I meow louder.

Lately Anya has been helping. With two of us near her feet, she realizes it is wet food time and heads for the food cupboard. This system has worked for us, you might try it.

Choose one human. Whoever normally puts food in your bowl. When it is food time, follow that human. Meow pitifully at first. If it doesn’t work, walk back and forth around the human’s feet and meow again, louder.

This should help.

Xander

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