Dear Xander: Anya Edition

Xander is on pain medication and Anya takes over his blog.

What do you do when your best friend is wrong? Not “his opinion is wrong,” not “he keeps pushing me off the cat tree wrong,” but he smells wrong. He seems like a completely different cat.

This isn’t academic for me. It is happening right now, as I sit on this keyboard. My alpha is wrong. Just wrong.

It all started a couple of days ago. We were both laying on the big pillow with our female human. The male human was in the small room with the water that comes from above. We could hear the water running.

One minute we were laying around, having a good time. The next, my female human grabbed me. Tightly. She stood and carried me to the plastic cage. Soon I was inside with the door locked. The next thing that happened? My alpha, Xander, was in the other plastic cage! We were both unhappy, but he stayed silent and let me do the complaining. He thinks I have a better meow for outrage.

A little time passed. Then we were outside! Still in the cages, so it isn’t like we could sniff anything. Then we were in the big moving thing. It is like a big metal box with wheels.

There was music playing. Our cages faced each other so Xander and I could communicate. I stopped meowing my outrage until Xander gave the signal.

He gave me the signal each time we stopped. I heard our human say something, but I only understand her a little when I can see her. Usually, her human sounds are indecipherable.

Sitting in the cage behind her head, I couldn’t read her body language. Xander told me to go for it so I let loose with yowling. Then we were carried to the other place.

It is a place we go sometimes. Not often, but we had been there many mealtimes before. We were scared. It is the place we usually go after being put in the plastic cages.

I couldn’t see what they were doing but I felt a sharp pain in my side. I don’t remember anything for a while after that. When I woke up, Xander wasn’t with me. I had a bright wrapper around one leg and felt strange. So many odd smells, too.

After a while, they brought in a cat that looked like my alpha. They set him in the other plastic cage. He had an identical wrapper around a front leg. He didn’t smell like Xander.

I meowed a little, but no one was paying attention. I stopped. It was very scary. Our human came and took us home in the plastic cages.

When we got out, the other cat tried to sniff me, but he didn’t seem like Xander. I hissed and told him to back off.

I decided retreat was warranted and I ran to the closet. I stayed there for a long time. That was a few mealtimes ago.

The not-Xander kept approaching me but I told him to back off with hisses and growls. He looks confused. He tried to say he was Xander, but I know he isn’t. He doesn’t smell right.

I have spent the time between mealtimes in the closet. There is a defendable spot on the shelf under the shirts. It is safe, dark and warm. Good thing. I guess I’m going to be spending a lot of time here.

My biggest question, though concerns Xander. If this not-Xander is here, where is my alpha? The humans act like he is Xander. It is very confusing.

Last night I came out of the closet and ate a little. Not-Xander kept his distance. He stayed in the other part of the house when I jumped on the bed in the middle of the night. I had to guard my humans.

In the morning, I woke up and Xander seemed to be on the bed. He smelled almost right. I relaxed. Sometimes I am stupid.

Once the humans got up, they grabbed seemed-like-Xander and put liquid in his mouth. I told him not to swallow but he couldn’t see me. Maybe I should have meowed. Everything seemed ok for a few minutes but then not-Xander was back.

I am so confused. I want my alpha back.

Note from Anya’s human: I tried very hard to explain to her that her alpha IS back. Xander had a few teeth pulled and the medicine he is on changes his scent. She won’t listen to me.

Today is his last day on the medication. Hopefully tomorrow she will realize Xander has been here all along.

Xander is taking her distrust with a bit of sadness. He is sleeping a lot so hopefully, the situation isn’t causing a lot of distress.

Xander’s last column:

My letter to Anya, talking about the power dynamics she allows with Xander: