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s felines, we are crepuscular, this shouldn’t be a real problem. Anya came up with that word, too. It describes us perfectly: most active at dawn and dusk.</p><p id="69f0">You need to let your human know this will solve the opossum problem. In my house, Anya would hang out on the laptop. Then our human would mysteriously find the website with the opossum tips open.</p><p id="e531">Do you have an indoor buddy who could do this for you? If not, you may have to discuss this with your entire colony. You could make a point of eating your fill by dusk so that the opossums get whatever is left.</p><p id="9eda">That website had some other interesting opossum facts, Anya says. They eat rodents, snails, bugs and stuff, too.</p><p id="9a43">If you are in the great outdoors, I assume there is enough of that stuff to keep them from starving. Don’t worry about not leaving enough food for them to eat.</p><p id="34f5">Xander</p><figure id="ea36"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*aNF4wQ9KT92i8AXcHpUtxA.jpeg"><figcaption>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/liilxliil-118078/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=237193">JeongMin Yi</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=237193">Pixabay</a></figcaption></figure><p id="4aaf">Dear Xander:</p><p id="65de">My human doesn’t kiss me on the mouth. My second special human does. I like it. How can I get my human to do it?</p><p id="08ae">Wants Kisses</p><p id="30e2">Dear WK:</p><p id="82fc">As I dictated my answer to your question, Anya interrupted. She wants to answer. In the interest of household harmony, here is her response.</p><p id="1dfd">Xander</p><p id="cc22">Dear WK:</p><p id="ce9a">What are you thinking? Yuk! If you were asking why your human didn’t lick you, that would make sense.</p><p id="7617">Kissing is something humans do. We don’t kiss. We don’t even have human-type lips!</p><p id="f335">Humans aren’t supposed to kiss us on the lips. It is a very odd human thing that they sometimes do to the top of our heads or something. Mouth to mouth contact is unnecessary and just… Yuk!</p><p id="2f18">Are you trying to be a canine? They want that sort of thing. See the photo above to notice how wrong that is. They don’t know any better, but we do.</p><p id="f6d

Options

0">Seriously. I’m going to go lick myself now and get the taste of that question out of my mind.</p><p id="7c05">Anya</p><figure id="88f7"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*6uATVzMRcWMtVtr3xcAqiA.jpeg"><figcaption>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/loveombra-5245950/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2538551">loveombra</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2538551">Pixabay</a></figcaption></figure><div id="9a04" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/dear-xander-the-case-of-the-trespassing-feline-19533ef557cb"> <div> <div> <h2>Dear Xander: The Case of the Trespassing Feline</h2> <div><h3>A feline advice column for other felines.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*cLdD-fqdWBdhnRLB-Ga7kQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="f014" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/dear-xander-the-case-of-the-bad-eye-d800b5475981"> <div> <div> <h2>Dear Xander: The Case of the Bad Eye</h2> <div><h3>A feline advice column for other felines.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ycf5O3WM77hd9Ju4AqiLVA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4af0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-cat-is-a-super-spy-is-yours-aec61492dea9"> <div> <div> <h2>My Cat is a Super Spy. Is Yours?</h2> <div><h3>Be careful: your cat knows all your secrets.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*XVmZSHyEm1RZfPbSCJv28g.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Dear Xander: The Case of the Hungry Opossums

A feline advice column for other felines.

Dear Xander is an advice column from a feline, for feline readers.

Xander is always in need of questions to answer.

If you have a question for Xander, please leave it in the comments and he will answer in a future column.

Note: Xander had assistance with this week’s column from Anya

Dear Xander:

I am part of a cat colony. Two of us were invited indoors but we gotta be free, you know?

Anyway, our colony started with two of us and then a couple more joined the group. There was always enough food for the four of us, no problem. We don’t fight over the food at all.

And then a family of opossums showed up. They are eating our food! Rude, right? This has gotten out of hand. The possums are NOT part of our colony, even if they want to be.

What can I do?

Stop the Freeloaders

Dear STF:

I am an indoor cat. I consulted with one of the cat colonists that sneak into my yard in the afternoons to see if he had any good ideas. He didn’t.

We don’t have opossums in our area. Maybe because we are in the suburbs or because we live in the desert. Not sure why.

My buddy Anya hangs out on the laptop, so I asked her to do some research. She found some information on The National Opossum Society web page.

They suggest bringing dog and cat food into the house at night. Opossums are active at night and sleep during the day so this should help.

Since, as felines, we are crepuscular, this shouldn’t be a real problem. Anya came up with that word, too. It describes us perfectly: most active at dawn and dusk.

You need to let your human know this will solve the opossum problem. In my house, Anya would hang out on the laptop. Then our human would mysteriously find the website with the opossum tips open.

Do you have an indoor buddy who could do this for you? If not, you may have to discuss this with your entire colony. You could make a point of eating your fill by dusk so that the opossums get whatever is left.

That website had some other interesting opossum facts, Anya says. They eat rodents, snails, bugs and stuff, too.

If you are in the great outdoors, I assume there is enough of that stuff to keep them from starving. Don’t worry about not leaving enough food for them to eat.

Xander

Dear Xander:

My human doesn’t kiss me on the mouth. My second special human does. I like it. How can I get my human to do it?

Wants Kisses

Dear WK:

As I dictated my answer to your question, Anya interrupted. She wants to answer. In the interest of household harmony, here is her response.

Xander

Dear WK:

What are you thinking? Yuk! If you were asking why your human didn’t lick you, that would make sense.

Kissing is something humans do. We don’t kiss. We don’t even have human-type lips!

Humans aren’t supposed to kiss us on the lips. It is a very odd human thing that they sometimes do to the top of our heads or something. Mouth to mouth contact is unnecessary and just… Yuk!

Are you trying to be a canine? They want that sort of thing. See the photo above to notice how wrong that is. They don’t know any better, but we do.

Seriously. I’m going to go lick myself now and get the taste of that question out of my mind.

Anya