Dear Xander: The Case of the Bad Eye

A feline advice column for other felines.

Dear Xander is an advice column from a feline, for feline readers.

Xander is always in need of questions to answer.

If you have a question for Xander, please leave it in the comments and he will answer in a future column.

Dear Xander

Meow! I am a foster kitty. I think “foster” means very special. I had a bad eye.

Last week I went to the vet and had surgeries. One to take out my bad eye and the other to do a snip-snip at the other end of me.

My problem is the vet put a cone on my head! Worse yet, mom leaves the cone on me. I do not like this cone, it bangs on my dish of food and bumps my toys. The big cats won’t help me get it off. How can i get rid of it? Will mom ever take it off and throw it away?

Purrs,

Fighting With The Cone Of Shame

Dear FWTCOS:

I am very sorry about your eye. Hopefully, you are not in too much pain.

I, too, have had to fight with the dreaded Cone of Shame. Your mom will take it off eventually. She may not throw it away. You or another special kitty may need it again.

Sometimes when we don’t feel well, humans put the cone on our heads. I wasn’t sure why at first.

Anya, my best buddy, thinks it has to do with keeping us from scratching ourselves when we are hurt. She watched when I had it on and said that seemed to be what the humans were saying.

I am usually better at understanding our humans, but I felt bad and wasn’t paying attention. It makes sense. Why else would they give us the cone?

In your case, I think your human doesn’t want to you scratch your eye area. I know it is horrible but try to be patient. The cone will be removed at some point.

Be patient and try not to fight the cone too much. It will soon be gone.

I wish you luck in finding a forever human. In the meantime, have fun with your foster human. I, too, was a foster kitty. So was Anya.

We found our forever humans and you will, too.

Xander

Dear Xander:

I am an only in the house female feline. Our human is gone most of the day, but I haven’t been lonely. I have a buddy, Jasmine.

Jasmine was here long before I was. She is a lot older than I am. Older than my momma was.

We are best friends and like to sleep next to each other on the big pillow during the day. The sun comes through the window and it is warm.

We play when our human comes home. The evil light comes out and moves across the floor and the wall. We hunt it together.

Feathers on sticks come out and we take turns going after it and telling that faux bird who’s boss. It is fun. We even share our catnip mice.

At least, we used to do all those things. Jasmine doesn’t want to play anymore. She says she hurts and feels cold all the time.

She lays on the soft pillow until our human gets home and then wants on our human’s lap. We used to share the lap but when I ask for my turn, Jasmine opens her eyes and says she is sick and aches. I always say it is okay and settle somewhere nearby.

Jasmine doesn’t use the litter box anymore. There is a paper next to it and she uses that. The paper appeared after Jasmine had a couple of accidents next to the litter box.

Our human smells sad. Sometimes water comes from her eyes. If Jasmine isn’t on her lap, I go sit there. Our human hugs me, and more water comes from her eyes. Her nose makes a sniffling sound.

I don’t understand what is happening. I know Jasmine is sick, but she isn’t getting better. What can I do to help her get better? Do you think laying on our human’s lap will make her better?

Confused and Worried

Dear CAW:

I am so sorry your buddy is sick. Since she is older, a lot older, than you, it is possible she is nearing the end of her time with you.

I have only heard whispers of cat elders nearing their ends, but that may be what is happening. We only get so much time to chase bugs, play with feathers, and lay in the sun.

The time we have to do these things is different for every feline. Some felines become ill as kittens and leave us. That is especially sad but more often kittens have time to grow up.

I am a grown-up feline, but am not a wise, older one yet. I am healthy and still enjoy running, jumping, and playing catch the feather. One day the aches will come, and I will slow down. Later I will slow down a lot, like Jasmine.

If you think back, hasn’t Jasmine always been a little slower than you? Didn’t she want to rest longer on the big comfy pillow in the sun?

Her time of ending might be soon, or it may not come for many sunrises. The best you can do for Jasmine is to stay near when she wants company. Often, she will want to sleep, and you need to let her do that.

One day you human may take Jasmine away and you won’t see her again. If this happens, your human is going to need you more than ever. Our sacred duty is to comfort our humans when they are in pain.

If this happens, don’t be scared. Jasmine will be at peace. You will miss her and feel pain when you think of her for a while. Your human can comfort you, too.

We all have a life cycle. Felines, humans, and even the dreaded canines. Jasmine may be nearing the end of hers. You will honor her with the cry of our people. You will honor her by remembering her warm place in the sun.

And, if another feline joins your household one day, one younger than you, you will honor Jasmine by showing the new cat the ropes. He or she will need the help and you have the knowledge, thanks to your buddy Jasmine.

Xander

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