Summary

Xander, a cat, shares his perspective on living in a multi-cat household, emphasizing the importance of establishing a hierarchy, bonding with humans for increased treats, and maintaining order to ensure a comfortable and treat-rich environment.

Abstract

Xander, the self-proclaimed alpha cat in his home, offers advice on how to manage a household with multiple cats. He suggests choosing a favorite human to create a special bond with, which in turn can lead to more treats. Xander explains the dynamics of being either the alpha or beta cat and the importance of understanding one's role in the household. He warns against trusting outside cats' tales and emphasizes the need for good behavior to keep the treats coming. Xander also touches on the complexities of cohabiting with dogs and the necessity of quality food, advising cats to stand their ground for better culinary options.

Opinions

It's crucial to select a favorite human for a special bond, which can lead to an increased flow of treats.
In a multi-cat household, it's important to establish whether you are the alpha or beta cat and stay in your lane.
Be skeptical of stories from random outdoor cats; verifying their information prevents household disruptions and maintains the treat flow.
Jumping on the counter is a choice that may result in temporary "bad cat" status but is understood as an occasional necessity.
Sleeping on the big pillow with your human can be a privilege of a good human-cat bond, and being nice to other humans in the bed can further increase treat flow.
Cats should make their own choices about interacting with dogs, but it's noted that dogs can be a nuisance and may require strategic avoidance.
It's advisable to keep a distance from strange cats brought into the home, as their intentions and behaviors might be unsettling.
Cats should not settle for low-quality food and can influence their human to provide better options, potentially leading to more treats during the boycott.

Xander Speaks: A Cat’s View of Life in a Two Cat Household

Tips for running your household comfortably and increasing the flow of cat treats.

Life is pretty good these days. I am the alpha in a two-cat household. If you want to know how it works, listen to me and your house can run as smoothly as mine.

· Always pick a human to be your favorite. This is important. You can always pay attention to the other people who live with you or who visit. Remember, though, to make ONE person feel special. One person who will say: I belong to this cat.

Try to come up with one thing you do with this person, so they will feel like you have a special bond. I do this thing where I lick my human’s nose. This causes my human to feel more bonded and the treats flow. It is ok if you share your human with the other cats in the house.

Note: this sounds like terrible advice, I know. For some reason, more cats owning one human doesn’t make the treat flow dwindle. Sometimes it even increases. A scientist needs to look into this.

Hanging out with Anya — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

· If you are part of a two-cat household, you will need to decide if you are the alpha or the beta in the pair. If you are part of a clowder, you will have an even bigger decision to make. Are you in charge or are you further down in the pecking order? How far down are you willing to be? Figure it out and stay in your lane. The household will work better if everyone stays in their assigned role.

Anya hangs out with the laptop a lot. — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

Note: Clowder is a group of cats. Anya, the other cat in my household, hangs out on the laptop keyboard a lot. She looked it up. How fun is that word?

· Don’t trust things random cats say. If you go outside, sometimes there are cats on the lam out there with all kinds of wild tales. Listen to them, sure, but check the facts out before you start spreading rumors. If you bring back false facts to your household, it can cause the other cats to act out with bad behavior.

The trouble maker in my neighborhood. She comes into the yard and brings all kinds of gossip. — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

· Bad behavior disrupts the treat flow and should be avoided.

· Sometimes you need to jump on the counter. I know it and you know it. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. Understand that you will get in trouble if you jump on the counter. Even if it is only to get on top of the noisy box with the cold, wet cubes. If you do this, you may end up with the title of “bad cat” for a few hours. This will disrupt the treat flow. You must make your own choices. I respect that.

Sleeping on the big pillow is nice. — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

· If you have done a good job singling out a human to own, you can sleep on the big soft pillow with him or her. If your human sleeps with another person, put in some time being nice to the other one. It is a little more work but if you play your cards right, you could increase your treat flow a bit.

· I once saw a cat on a leash. I wouldn’t go for that, but he seemed happy out on the street with his human. You have to make your own choices, but it looked too much like a dog thing to me.

· You do not have to be friendly with a household canine. I have heard that some of them are cool but I’m not into them. Anya agrees with me.

There is this strange canine that comes to our household sometimes. At first, I hissed, but now I ignore him and hang out in my cat tree where his cold nose can’t poke at me.

At least the canine brought his own bed. I wasn’t sharing the big pillow with him. — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

My human seemed relieved once the hissing stopped. She brings a couple of treats to the cat tree for me when he is here. Your human should be smart enough not to put treats where the offensive canine can lick them up. Dogs have no manners.

Anya hides in another room when he is here. She misses out on the extra treats. I guess she doesn’t think it is worth it.

The offensive canine and strange feline seem to be friends. I don’t get it. — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

· One time a strange feline came into my house and stayed for a few days. Remember that canine I told you about? This cat seems to own the dog. I don’t know what is going on there. It seemed unnatural to be that friendly with a dog. I refused to talk to the interloper, so I have no idea what the relationship is all about. Maybe he leverages his friendship with the dog into an increased treat flow. I recommend keeping your distance from strange cats brought into your home. That’s just me. You do you.

· One word on food. We all know food is all important. Treats are a necessity, of course, but don’t neglect the quality of the food in your food bowl. Don’t be afraid to boycott bad food. It is good to encourage your human to try and please your pallet. Don’t go overboard. A cat has to eat, after all, but don’t settle for bad tasting food. They should come around. In the meantime, you will probably get more treats.

I hope you can use this information. The goal is to increase your treat flow and make your household run as comfortably as possible.

Me, kicking back. — Photo by Shelly McIntosh

If you like this, check out something my human wrote. She really thinks she can keep me off the big shiny box with the small, cold, cubes.

I Will Train My Cat

Tomorrow

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