I Will Train My Cat

Summary

A pet owner humorously recounts their decision to postpone training their mischievous cats, Anya and Xander, acknowledging the cats' dominance in the household.

Abstract

The narrator, engrossed in a book about overcoming procrastination, humorously overlooks their cat's counter-surfing antics, deciding to postpone training until the next day. Despite witnessing the cat's stealthy maneuvers and anticipating the inevitable squirt bottle discipline, the owner chooses to turn a blind eye. The article, featured in Medium's "A Few Words" publication, invites readers to engage with the writer's previous letters to their cats and suggests that the cats are the true rulers of the home. It concludes with an invitation for concise, meaningful storytelling within the publication.

Opinions

The narrator recognizes their own procrastination in training the cats, mirroring the themes of the book they are reading.
There is an underlying acceptance that the cats have a significant level of control within the household, as implied by the phrase "This is their house."
The narrator seems to have a playful and affectionate relationship with their cats, as indicated by the endearments used in previous letters.
The decision to delay training reflects a light-hearted resignation to the cats' behavior, suggesting a tolerant and amused attitude towards their pets.
The invitation to contribute to the publication suggests a belief in the value of brevity and impact in storytelling.

Tomorrow

Xander — photo by Shelly McIntosh

I lay on the couch in the family room, reading my copy of The Procrastination Cure by Damon Zahariades.

I see your quiet, stealthy creep to the counter from the corner of my eye. I hear your soft landing as you leap onto the counter. Then I hear silence.

I lay there for a moment. I imagine any moment I will jump up, grab the squirt bottle and show actions have consequences. You will curse open floor plans with a great line of sight. You will jump down, shaking off the water, and try it all again tomorrow.

I sigh and turn the page. I can always show actions have consequences tomorrow.

If you would like to read about my ongoing conversation with my cats, Anya and Xander, check out these:

This is their house. They just let me live in it.

Anya — photo by Shelly McIntosh

I Will Train My Cat

Tomorrow

Letter to my Cat

My dearest Anya:

Letter to my Male Cat

Dear Love Bug:

This story is published in a Few Words, Medium’s brand new publication which only accepts stories that have less than 500 words.

If you have a few meaningful words to say and want to be a writer in our publication, visit our page.