Day 3: Depression And Dependency Pain
Starting to make personal choices and changes.
Update, May 8, 2022: It’s come to my unfortunate attention that my X has many narcissistic traits. I encourage anyone that is going through a weird and painful relationship to please research narcissism.
No one told me about this and I was clueless. 4 years later I know about narcissism but am paying the very painful price for having dated one. Below are some links for you to learn from. Very helpful and informative.
Narcissist Questions/Answers. / Narcissist Video Help
Day 3 did not begin very well.
I was feeling a little better about taking a stand and not replying to my girl’s ultimatum text, yesterday.
But, as I woke this morning, I realized that I should answer, again,her despite her sharp words.
I replied and told her that I stopped to say hi but realized it may not be the best thing. So, I hesitated, went back and forth for a while in the parking lot and decided not to go in and just let her be.
She got on me to go into detail and tell her more and why?
I asked her to call and she did not. She kept texting.
I texted her that I was hurt and tired of her questions and that I deserved to talk in person or at least a phone call. She did not reply.
I am feeling very down that she is being like this. I feel that I may never really see her as my girlfriend again.
That hurts like a knife!
But, what can I do?
I am trying to fight the depression and dependency pain. Trying to feel good about myself.
I may be single now.
I also am tired of thinking that I need someone to vent/dump my problems to in order to feel ok. I’d like to feel ok alone and not looking for an ear.
I am being with people, friends, and clients but not bringing up my problem.
It’s a little hard.
It is very hard to be alone in the house.
I want to talk or be with friends or family.
I texted her an apology later.
She replied that she doesn’t want my apology. She wants to know every detail of Fri. night.
I was confused and angered at her response and did not reply.
I called her at 10pm but she did not answer.
She texted that she wants me to write it down, again.
I replied that I was insulted and she could call me to talk tomorrow or get together.