Day 14: Depression And Dependence Pain
Is it over for good?
Update, May 8, 2022: It’s come to my unfortunate attention that my X has many narcissistic traits. I encourage anyone that is going through a weird and painful relationship to please research narcissism.
No one told me about this and I was clueless. 4 years later I know about narcissism but am paying the very painful price for having dated one. Below are some links for you to learn from. Very helpful and informative.
Narcissist Questions/Answers. / Narcissist Video Help
I ask, ‘is it over for good,’ because we’ve broken up and made up several times before.
I’ve gone through the same hard depression and feelings many times before.
And, then was very surprised that we got back together!
But, like all the other times, I am really thinking that this is over.
I am trying to move on, meet other people, and work on myself.
Knowing that I’ve said all of this many times before makes me wonder what will happen.
Makes me think that I can actually call it over myself, even if she calls me back.
I don’t know if I’m healthy enough to stay broken up if she asks?
That’s where depression and dependence comes in.
That’s where my self-esteem and sense of self come in.
That’s where I make a very big life decision.
That hasn’t been made yet.
Tough stuff.
This break is different.
I haven’t cried, though I’ve been depressed.
I don’t want or need to prove anything to her, we both have our own problems.
I need us to really talk if we do want to get back together.
The future is up in the air and I need to keep my life moving in a positive direction, with or without her.
Looking for new friends and new girlfriends to meet.
Life…….. isn’t it fun!?
peace,
