Dating is Absolute Fun

3 ways it can for you

The bottom line of dating is why you are doing it.

Is it because you’re lonely, that you want a friend?

Or is it because you want a relationship?

• if so, what kind? Lead to marriage?
• pass the time away?
• to go on adventures?

No matter the bottom line, one thing is clear. You want to know them and they want to know you. The next three points are encompassed in how to make dating fun. For me, dating is meant to lead to family. As anyone who’s been divorced, such as myself, can say, “I wish I knew [fill in the blank]…”

These three are what makes dating fun and each of them overlaps with the others, too. Without even one the other two don’t seem to fit quite right.

1: Confidence

Confidence to be yourself will open doors you never knew existed, in yourself and for the other person.

Alongside confidence, there needs to be grace with it. Forced confidence is oddly a turnoff, as not unexpected.

I’ve been there. At the start of my military career, I was, what my drill sergeant in Army Basic Training, Drill Sergeant Ashe, said: “don’t be a jellyfish.” Since then I was on a mission to not be one. In my journey, I took risks and experienced thrills, which boosted my confidence.

2: Openness

You’re not CIA, a bike club member, or Mafia. However, if a bike club member opens up more than you, why? Need more life experience to be confident? Go on a mission trip or volunteer for a nonprofit.

Openness also paves the way for confidence and thrills. Being open helps the other person be open, too. It’s like telling them it’s going to be okay.

3: Thrill

Without thrill, where’s the excitement?

As much as that was a joke, it didn’t seem to be one, also. A woman wants to be taken on a journey. If the gaps in life are not fun, then she knows they will be boring. She doesn’t want a man to be just now trying to kickstart who he is. That doggone bike needed to be started before she arrived.

The Combination

When I was dating my wife I knew that she had a different personality. I was more introverted and I planned everything. I had to be open to her world of spontaneity. I could have made excuses and said, “my planner is what helps my TBI.”

I was open about my memory issues on day one before we started dating. On just the first day I expressed confidence in myself, openness with her, and showed her a thrill. What that also did for her was it said that I’m here for good, I’m investing.

This strategy gave me value. And value is what my wife still sees. I let her know that I was not playing games and that each of those three areas is just as much a part of any one day as the next.

• I am a confident man
• I am an open man
• I do seek thrills

This is not dating, this is life.

I had no problem dating anyone. I had fun. I did not worry about if someone was not going to like me. I had many women that did not like me. Totally fine, I didn’t care.

In the end, I found someone who we hear people all the time asking, “why do they love me?” I found someone who connected energies, you could say. Not forced energies or temporary ones.

Bonus: Love & The Trick

The trick is to respect the other’s psychology, too.

For men, this means to enjoy time with her, like really enjoy time with her. No goopy, glubby, sex-driven man stuff. Self-control is definitely a life skill. Leave her alone in that department. Or things can change, you can ruin her. Also, you could end up with a child with someone you don’t really like. Some women would call this a death sentence. Either way, if you want to have a clear vision of your feelings, return her home after the date.

You can let love come, but love doesn’t mean sex. Let love come naturally and gradually. One thoughtful number after another, like an investment. Expect nothing back, be in good psychology, and continue to only expect a good time with them. The goal, if a man loves a woman, is to let her love come to him as it does naturally. The sweetest thing a man can experience is when her love falls on him by her own doing. Pure gold.

A woman’s love is strongest when it is fueled. Sex isn’t fuel. If you think so, let me assess both parties psychologically. But, the whole you, the whole man, is fuel. Confidence, openness, and thrills are the fuel. The whole premature jock-liking-teen-girl is where that comes from. Why did the young lady trust him so fast? A man wants a woman to say to herself, “why hasn’t he done this, yet?” Then surprise her with it when she least expects it. That is cooking with the right oil. And her wanting more is kickstarting her love for you.

If a woman did not respond to who I was, good to know that now. I like who I am. I like my hobbies, I like my hockey, I like my soccer, I like my introverted TV times, and I like a woman who likes some stuff just as much or even more than I do. Now I have her. I cared nothing for empty dating dates. And you shouldn’t either. It just adds up time you should not sacrifice.

Plus, if she was not equal in that regard, if she was not ready to jump in, I would have been gone. I looked for someone who can hike life at the same speed.

However, if I found someone that had a past they were not away from yet and she really grabbed my heart, then:

Thanks for reading! Thanks for your positive comments!! Thanks for sharing!!