Clear out the emotional clutter to improve the quality of your life
If you really want to find happiness and fulfillment, then get serious about cleaning up the clutter in your life.
by: E.B. Johnson
The hardships in this life can cause a lot of turmoil and make it difficult for us to keep up and keep track. When we’re faced with adversity, we’re also faced with a number of choices, emotions and thoughts that can cloud the way or otherwise make it hard for us to process. If we want to live happier, healthier and more fulfilled lives — we have to learn how to de-clutter our emotional space and get back to the root of who we are and what we want.
Stop allowing the emotional clutter to distract you or get you off track. When you let go of the people, experiences and emotions that no longer provide you with joy, fulfillment, or support, you can rediscover that authentic core of who you are. And get back to the things that really matter now and in the future. Find your courage and find the strength to be a more present player in your life. De-clutter your headspace and your heart for a life that is lived freely and in line with your deepest and most radical truths.
It’s easy to get lost in the clutter.
It’s incredibly easy to get buried in the clutter of life, and when we do, it can completely overwhelm who we are and the things we want from our futures. The pressures of friends, family and work can add up. And when you then couple it with the additional stress and pressures of modern living, you can find yourself lost and searching for a way out.
Instead of struggling in the dark, you have to learn how to clear out the emotional clutter from your life. When you let go of the things that no longer suit and get back in touch with the core of you who you are — you can unlock some truly radical internal transformations that equal big strength and even bigger happiness.
Let go of the extremes and get proactive about getting back to the root of who you are. Simplify your thoughts and your happiness and start detached from those things that detract from your overall quality of life. We are not put here to be burdened with the pain and insecurity of other people. Take charge of your own future and let go of your need to please.
Signs you’re dealing with emotional build-up.
Feel like you’re adrift at sea, with no direction or purpose? Struggling with negative patterns of coping and numbing that are further complicating your family and home life? These are all signs that you’re dealing with emotional clutter, but only you have the power to recognize and correct them.
Going from extremes
Take a step back and consider your moods. What’s your emotional temperature like right now? If you always feel “frazzled” or on-edge it can be a sign that your emotional or mental headspace is filled up with things that shouldn’t be there. Mood swings are often the first indication that something isn’t right, as it’s a common way for our subconscious to enlighten us or otherwise raise the warning call that something isn’t right.
Losing who you are
Where are you at in your life right now? If someone asked you to describe the essential core of who you are — could you do it in 5 seconds? So many of us don’t know who we are. And for that reason, we don’t know what we want from our lives or our relationships and careers. Even the basics elude you when you’ve lost sight of who you are and what you want. You’re stumbling through the dark with no sense of direction.
It never gets better
When we actually find the courage to listen to our emotions, they tell us a lot. If you’re lost in feelings of hopelessness, or feeling completely unfulfilled — it’s your emotions telling you you’re going in the wrong direction. Being miserable in your relationships, your friendships, where you live, where you work, etc. isn’t normal. It’s also not healthy to continually hold negative thoughts, attitudes, outlooks or behaviors.
Questioning to the core
Find yourself questioning everything you do? Or every decision that you make? Questioning is often a subconscious way of pointing out the flaws in lives we are building. When we question ourselves, it is often because we know that the decisions we are making are wrong; or, we feel that we are moving further away from the things that actually provide us with fulfillment.
Numbing behavior
Numbing behavior like promiscuity, alcohol addiction, gambling and drug use can all be signs that you are running from deeper issues in your life. When we’re unhappy, we’ll do anything to mask that negative emotion. This includes numbing the pain and distracting ourselves through toxic behavior and relationships that further undermine our long-term wellbeing.
Complete disconnection
Do you feel completely disconnected from the life you’ve built or the people that you’ve filled it with? Feel like you no longer have anything in common with your spouse, or that you’re on the wrong career path? A complete disconnection from your life is often a wake-up call that you’ve been building someone else’s castle. It’s necessary in these moments to take a step back and reassess who you truly are at your core, as well as what you want from your future.
Where all the clutter comes from.
Clutter doesn’t just happen overnight. We gain emotional, spiritual and mental clutter from facing up to the stress and pressures of our friends, family and even the continued pain of our past.
Losing sight of yourself
It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the demands of life and our careers. The more responsibility you take on, the easier it is to give up little pieces of yourself…until you’re standing at a crossroads with a stranger and no idea what direction to take. To lead happy lives, we have to know who we are and move confidently in the direction of our dreams.
Running from the pain
One of the most common reasons we find ourselves living in a cluttered emotional nightmare is the non-stop marathon we run in an effort to escape our pain. The traumas of our past continue to hurt us, so we do anything we can to bury those emotions away and cover the memories up. They don’t go away, however, no matter how much other “stuff” we bury them under.
Over-reliance on the familiar
Getting too comfortable (be it in a partnership or even a family setting) isn’t a good thing — despite what you may think. When we get too comfortable, we let ourselves go and lose sight of the strengths and passions that give us our unique flavor. The more you rely on the familiar and ease into comfort, the more you find yourself filling up your life with other people’s baggage. A risk of riding on cruise control when it comes to life.
Compulsive need to over-function
Those with a cluttered emotional headspace often find themselves with a compulsive need to over-function. This comes from a need to prove themselves against their own insecurities, as well as a way to seek “belonging”. All of this, of course, is just a distraction; they’re running from the pain of their past and the true emotions that are eating them away at the core.
Looking for a savior
We are the only ones who have the power to control or redirect the course of our lives. Failing to acknowledge this, however, leaves you in the trenches looking for a savior. Unable to acknowledge your own strengths, you lose sight of yourself until there’s nothing of value left. You disappear, waiting for someone to do what only you could have done all along.
Need-to-please
Are you someone that has a compulsive need to please others — be they your family, your coworkers, or even strangers? The more you sacrifice yourself in the service of others, the more you can lose touch with who you authentically are. It’s a fine line to tread, but it’s important to remember that your own needs are equally important as anyone else’s.
Why we could all benefit for a good de-clutter of our lives.
We could all benefit with a good de-clutter of our mental and emotional headspace, and that’s because we all know what it means to deal with pressure, stress and adversity. Gain a greater sense of peace and clarity by recognizing the power of letting go and opening up.
Increased concentration
Because de-cluttering our emotional hang-ups is so cathartic, it clears out space in our minds and actually helps to aid in concentration and decision making. Just as our lives and our homes have finite space in them, so do our brains. Allowing ourselves to let go of the bad and the toxic makes it possible to free up the better parts of our nature and thinking abilities.
Greater sense of peace
When you finally start to let the bad things and people go in your life, you’ll notice that you instantly experience a greater sense of peace and calm. Your neurosis might ease, you might get better sleep. You may even notice that you have more energy throughout the day or for the things that you once enjoyed. There’s a great sense of peace in de-cluttering our emotional lives.
Releasing the past
While the past can serve as a substantial teacher, clinging to it emotionally is toxic and self-defeating. There is no way to change the past. All we can do is to prevent it from happening again. When you learn how to detach from the negativity, you’ll start to understand that you can take the lessons you need from the past, then bury it where it lies. You can’t change it, and it’s already changed you. Let it go.
Boosting your emotions
Getting rid of the toxic waste in your life can provide an incredible boost to your emotions and your emotional health. Many of our mood swings and outbursts and subconscious manifestations of things we aren’t facing up to. When we finally take a breath and bravely confront these negative aspects of self and life, we leave ourselves free to be happy.
Focusing on what matters
The more “crap” you clear out, the more room you leave in your life and your psyche for the things that really matter. Think people that truly love and support you; career opportunities that are more financially rewarding and fulfilling. There’s a finite amount of space in our ethereal lives, and it’s up to us to ensure that it’s filled only with the things that provide meaning and joy during our time on this planet.
The best ways to de-clutter your life and increase your happiness.
You don’t have to live lost in emotional clutter forever. You can find your way back to personal joy, happiness and fulfillment by focusing on simple techniques like simplification, pursuing your joy and detaching from the things that no longer serve you.
1. Simplify things
The first step in emotionally de-cluttering your life requires you to simplify things and streamline the way you approach your feelings. That means taking a good hard look at your life and the things that bring you stress, misery, any unhappiness. Then, taking the action that’s required to remove those things from your gravity, therefore simplifying your life.
Strip back on the activities, pastimes and people that are detracting from your quality of life more than they are adding to it. Look for people and situations that cause you stress, or otherwise detonate your day whenever you’re encountered with them.
Don’t make your life more complicated than it has to be. You don’t have to stay connected with someone who isn’t kind to you; who uses you or otherwise goes out of their way to hurt you. Stop engaging in unnecessary activities that leave you frazzled and start taking time to dig deeper into what you really want from this life and yourself. Then you can start sticking up for what you really want.
2. Master the art of saying “no”
If we truly want to create a life that is entirely our own, we have to get comfortable with the word “no” and we have to start incorporating it into our day-to-day life. No isn’t a negative word. It’s a protective word, and it’s one that can make us both safe and strong in who we are and what we want from this one life we have.
Saying no to things you don’t have time for or things you don’t want to do is an issue for a lot of people. Still, it’s one of the most important life skills we can master. Turning down things you don’t feel equipped to cope with isn’t rude — it’s self-care and the sign of a strong person.
If you learn to say no, you’ll find your perceptions changing entirely and before long you’ll see “no” as a positive, not a negative. Turning down the things that don’t suit us makes us stronger and makes our living more beautiful for the experience. A world of “yes” equals a world of exhaustion. Say “no” when it suits and get the time and space you need when you need it.
3. Pursue your joy
A cluttered life is suffocating, and it keeps us from seeing our natural path forward toward fulfillment. The more space we give to distractions and numbing behaviors, the more detached we become from our natural sense of joy. If you’re struggling to find happiness in it all, take a step back and take a good hard look within. You’ve probably stopped pursuing your joy.
Get back in touch with those passions and pastimes that make heart sing. Tap back into your inspirations and find the things which create excitement and intrigue in your life again.
Pursue your joy and understand that — as much as anyone else in this world — has a right to authentic happiness. Stop sacrificing yourself on the altar of someone else’s needs and start seeing to your own needs for a little while. Go after the life you want to lead and the future you want to create. No one can give that to you. You have to build it for yourself.
4. Thin out your friend list
We only have a finite amount of space in our lives for relationships, and when we fill it with people who take energy from us and keep us small — it detracts from our quality of life. Thin-out your friend list and stop wasting your time with people who drain you or otherwise drive you to places you don’t want to be.
This life is entirely too short to spend it with people who make us angry, sad or otherwise feel like we don’t matter. Get rid of those people on your timeline who add more negativity than positivity.
Surround yourself only with people who inspire good feelings, or who otherwise push to be a better person than you were yesterday. You don’t owe anyone your time, energy, money or space. Stick up for yourself and find a new layer of peace by thinning out your friends list.
5. Increase your time in the real world
If you’re someone who’s been running from the pain and discomfort of the ill-fitting life that you’ve built, chances are you haven’t been present in a long time. Being present is hard, because it means facing up to our emotions and facing up to the choices that we made. It’s being in our bodies and being in our feelings for the fullness of what they are.
Learn to appreciate being in the present moment and understand the benefits this presence can bring. Listen to your body and the messages that it’s trying to send you. Listen to your heart. What is it telling you about your choices and the people you’re surrounding yourself with?
Minimize your social media time and the time you spend distracting yourself or “getting lost”. Drop the comparison game and understand that everyone has their own individual journey to undertake during their time here. Embrace presents and stop rushing toward the future, or running from the past. Just be in the moment and enjoy things as they are right now.After all, you will never be at this exact point again.
6. Take your emotional temperature
Sitting with our emotions isn’t comfortable, but they serve a purpose and they deserve our acknowledgement. We should take our emotional temperatures regularly and use this process to become better acquainted with our feelings and how they impact us.
Start embracing your emotions and get used to facing up to them the first time, rather than burying them deep away until they fester. Learn to be comfortable with your emotions and appreciate them for the value they can bring to your life.
You can start this practice with just a few moments each day. Get a journal and find a place where you’ll be uninterrupted for 10–15 minutes. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Center on your body and listen to how you’re feeling. Record any emotions that come to you, and any responses they bring up.
7. Become a master of moving on
You have to become a master of moving on if you truly want to overcome all the dross and the pain that’s holding you back. That means letting go of the past and it means emotionally detaching from those things which hurt you, but that are also outwith your control.
Stop holding onto things that no longer suit you. Stop living up to other people’s ideals and start pursuing your own passions. Move on from the people who make you feel small.
Move on from the situations and the past hurts that keep injuring you with no chance of resolve. We set limits for how we want to be treated, and we decide how we want to feel emotionally. Become a master of moving on and stop letting the worthless things hold you back from greatness.
Putting it all together…
When our lives get filled with emotional clutter, it leaves little room for important things like personal growth and fulfillment. Uncovering our happiness often means learning to look past all the superficial, self-defeating patterns and habits — so that we can get back to the root of what really matters. If you feel like you’ve been set adrift and you no longer know who you are…then clearing out all the emotional clutter might be a great place to start.
Start by simplifying your life and breaking down the things you don’t really need. Cut out the pastimes, activities and relationships that make you miserable; thing things out and let go of the non-essential things and people that drain you. Say “no” more often and stick up for your needs. Pursue your joy and thin out that friend list, freeing it of people who bring more heartache than they do support. Be present and start getting comfortable in the real world — away from the endless distractions of all the hollow and meaningless things you’re holding onto. Start sitting with your emotions and get comfortable facing up to them by regularly taking your emotional temperature. We clutter our lives (more often than not) because we fear facing up to our feelings. Stop running from who you are and what you really want, and become a master of moving on from the things, and the people, who no longer suit you.
