Adjusting to the New Normal

Finding my place as the world reopens

I couldn’t wait for the world to re-open; packed patios, people everywhere, traveling the world and making new friends in real life again. I dreamt about it. I envisioned it to the detail in my mind’s eye. I couldn’t wait to run into the future, the old normal, the way things used to be!

And yet here I am in a sort of standstill; halted, timid, unsure of how to proceed.

The reality is that the pandemic changed me and it changed us collectively too. We are different now as a world, as a people. You are different. I am different. And all of us are treading these new waters together.

I am finding that integrating my post-pandemic self into my old life in this new normal, is simply not working; it is a flawed philosophy. Instead, I must identify the ways in which I’ve changed and then create a plan for reintegration into this ever-evolving new normal.

I must find my own new normal.

You see, the world today is not simply a rerun of our old lives, but rather it is a new version of life; resembling old life, but different.

People are different for good and for bad. Some are more selfish. Others are more compassionate. Antisemitism and racism are on the rise. Many are angry at all they have lost whereas others are profoundly grateful; able to see both the loss and the blessings the pandemic has brought with it.

Some friendships did not survive the pandemic, poking holes in their very nature, and in some instances revealing their limited capacity and purpose. As they say, some friendships we have for a reason, others last for a season, and still others remain for a lifetime.

The pandemic brought clarity to our relationships, both intimate and platonic; some lasted, while others did not.

Some relationships sprouted from within the darkness itself, finding light where it did not exist before. Some died, others came to life; this is simply the nature of life sometimes. And we too shattered and rose in the ups and downs of the pandemic as it twisted and turned and challenged us at the core of our very being.

If we are willing to consider it as such, we may even see the pandemic as a cleanse in which we shed unwanted parts of ourselves, patterns, thoughts, and behaviors that no longer served us, and people who drained us just the same.

We sat with ourselves, we faced ourselves and when we finally became super sick of zoom-happy-hours, we even became more stingy with our virtual time, choosing instead to spend quality time with ourselves.

A few years ago and shortly after my divorce, I shed the idea of being alone and replaced it consciously with being with myself and even dating myself. I went out to dinners with myself, took myself out on New Year’s Eve, and even traveled with myself.

The distinction of being with myself versus being alone was transformational and profound for me for it allowed me to step into my own power; living as a single, independent, and whole human being who didn’t need another to do all that she wanted to do.

In the early days of lockdown, I went through a difficult breakup that took me by complete surprise. The lockdown exacerbated the pain as I wasn’t able to distract myself with happy hours, travel, and date nights — even with myself. It challenged me to take this idea of being with myself to a whole new level; not just doing things with myself but rather simply being with, sitting with, and facing my own self with compassion, love, and genuine adoration.

Simply put; I learned to enjoy time at home with myself.

This classic ENFP who once derived her energy from being with others, even strangers, suddenly found herself energized and thriving on her own, within the comforts of her home, nose stuck in her laptop. Who had I become? I barely recognized myself, but I slowly began to embrace this new me who no longer needed to go-go-go to be happy.

As the world started to reopen, however, I cautiously began to step out into it again (post-vaccination that is).

One step at a time, slowly but surely, I timidly tiptoed back into my seemingly old-life placed within an ever-evolving present within a greater unknown future.

Yes, there are still so many unknowns and so much confusion; what’s safe, what isn’t, who's safe, who isn’t? How has the world changed, what will be next, and who in the world am I? I have more questions than answers these days as I baby step back into the world, and I am struggling to find my place within it — a new me within a new world disguised as my old life.

I just returned from my first work trip since the world shut down.

My last pre-pandemic trip was to the Strip; we laughed at all the foreigners bathing in hand sanitizer as we basked in all our senses through the Disneyland for adults that is Las Vegas. In the year since I have mostly hibernated, having finally gotten on a plane to California just last month to reunite with my family. And then this week, I hopped another plane to Arizona for a team retreat and seemingly went back in time, as if the nightmare of the last year simply never happened.

It wasn’t just the work clothes and the heels, neither of which have seen the light of day since last March, nor the fact that people in Arizona have abandoned their masks (and who can blame them — it was 113 degrees!), but rather it was my own mentality that startled me as I automatically reverted back to old ways.

From early mornings to happy hours and late nights, I consumed more cocktails this week than I have in the last year plus combined! I simply plugged my old self into my new life, only that now I am an inexperienced drinker, a lightweight who can’t handle more than two drinks without a hangover, and frankly a 46-year old adult who rather loves her life and prefers to be conscious through it.

So it seems I still have some adjusting to do and that this isn’t going to be a simple plug-and-play; plugging my old self into my post-lockdown life.

I am going to have to work extra hard and be extra conscious as I move about my life in the days ahead, treading this in-between place of old meets new— until I find a new normal that works for me.

Anyone else struggling with reintegration as the world tries to return to some sense of normalcy? What has been your greatest challenge?

Tell us in the comments.