Ayahuasca Told Me To Reunite With My Twin Flame

After purging all his venom out of me, I learned we are destined

Plant medicine and twin flames… an odd combination or a way into the ultimate truth? These two topics don’t often go hand-in-hand, even though both subjects are highly spiritual.

Psychedelics and twin flames are my favorite things to write about, but they attract a different type of reader. With this article, I will try to explain the link between the two.

First of all, if you are on a twin flame journey, chances are you are getting into a spiritual awakening as well. Meeting somebody so significant in your life will make you dig deeper into the depths of the Universe and why things are the way they are. This type of love changes you so profoundly — most likely because you will get hurt like you have never been hurt before. Twin flames expose your darkest shadows, and it’s your job to face and heal them.

Plant medicine, on the other hand, also exposes you to your shadows and biggest fears. It is used to help you heal your traumas and to get to know the person you truly are inside. Many people who are attracted to using plant medicine are also on some sort of spiritual journey, however probably not provoked by meeting ‘your other half’.

Why ayahuasca and twin flames are not a common subject together

My own simple explanation for this is that ayahuasca has been proven to work, whereas the term ‘twin flame’ is still met with skepticism and disbelief. I personally don’t like the word twin flame either, as it kind of sounds like it came from a childish fairy tale made up by a crazy person.

The truth is though, that soul connections do exist, whether you want to call it twin flames, soul mates or karmic relationships. Some people in your life will have such a massive impact, that it is impossible to forget this type of love. Whatever you do and whoever you date, nobody will come close to what you felt for your ‘twin flame’.

Most people will try to search for answers after breaking up with their twin flame (as separation very often happens due to the intensity) and will probably start doubting their connection. The terms ‘narcissist’ and ‘trauma bond’ will likely come up as well, and you will do everything to try to get over this person and explain the situation based on many different theories out there.

Are twin flames even real?

I also got stuck in this loop of not believing in twin flames anymore vs. my soul screaming for him. It was torture. Every one that I tried to explain the situation to, thought I was crazy. After all, there were many red flags in my relationship and I should be happy to have gotten out.

And truth to be told, I was happy at moments, especially the longer I was away from him. I just knew we were not supposed to be together yet. And as time passed, I started wondering more and more if not everything had just been an illusion. How could our lives ever work together? We were the ultimate opposites. I really did not want to turn my whole life around just to be with him.

But every other guy that came close to me turned out to be a disappointment. There simply wasn’t any person that could provoke that amount of connection I had felt with my twin flame. I thought I had lost the ability to love someone else, and that I should go to therapy to learn how to break free from my twin flame obsession.

Ayahuasca has the ultimate wisdom

Since ayahuasca is the ultimate therapist, I decided to attend a yage (Colombian ayahuasca) retreat. I hoped this powerful plant medicine could show me why I couldn’t let go of my twin flame. I was expecting to dive deep into my core traumas and my daddy issues, so I could finally let him go. But ayahuasca had other plans…

I would never ever recommend taking ayahuasca without a trustworthy shaman. You need an experienced, real shaman to guide you through your ceremony, or things could go very wrong. Many people nowadays claim to be ‘healers’ or call themselves shamans, but it’s not that simple. This medicine is no joke, and should not be taken lightly. Please do your research before booking a retreat.

My shaman came from the Amazon jungle and had learned about ayahuasca for generations in his family already. I immediately felt like I was in good hands with him. I did a total of three ceremonies, but this article will only describe one of them.

Black venom and endless purging

After taking the medicine, I started convulsing from my hip area. I didn’t immediately understand where this came from, but I soon discovered it was my uterus expelling all of the sexual energy shared between me and my twin flame. My hips couldn’t stop shaking, and even though it did not hurt, it was very uncomfortable.

I asked ayahuasca what and who my twin flame really was, and I got the message that he was poison inside of me. She said I had to let him go and never look back. I would soon discover that he would be insignificant in my life.

I didn’t understand, after all, this person completely changed me in all aspects of my life.

There was no way he was insignificant!

Besides that, I had seen his beautiful soul as well, how could I just let that go? But then the purging (vomiting, which is common to happen during ayahuasca) started, and it felt like black venom coming out of me. My twin flame was literally coming out of my body like parasites.

This process lasted for a couple of hours, and it was very intense. I could not stop throwing up and every time I thought he was finally out of me, more parasites emerged. The message was clear: my twin flame was poisonous for me.

Surrendering and letting go

It was only when I totally surrendered that I could finally stop vomiting. I trusted ayahuasca and believed her for telling me that I should let him go. By this time, my body was completely broken. Why the hell did I think this was a good idea?!

I completely accepted the fact that he was going to be out of my life forever and that twin flames are bullshit. At least I got a clear answer to my question and I felt relieved. Broken, but cleaned.

Then, the shaman called me in for a personal healing

I did not look forward to this moment, as I had seen at previous ceremonies that it involved taking off your clothes and getting spit on and slapped with a painful nettle branch full with thorns all over your body. But since I was in a state of surrendering, I obediently did as he told me and walked up in front of him in my underwear.

He asked me the name of my twin flame, so I told him. A quick thought passed through my mind about how crazy it would be if the shaman would now say the opposite of what just had happened to me. I pushed it away, as the message of his poison earlier was undeniable.

The cleansing ritual

I closed my eyes and let it all happen. It was the most intense, crazy experience of my life. Imagine standing in your underwear in 11-degree weather, getting alcohol spit all over you while being slapped with this extremely painful plant. At the same moment, the shamans are singing weird songs and blowing smoke in your face.

It was so crazy that I started laughing. What the hell was this shit? If anybody would see this, they would call the police for torturing.

The irony though is that it actually did feel very healing as well. It totally made sense to release the final bit of the black venom through this cleansing process.

But then the shaman came with his own answer, which he apparently saw through a vision:

‘Yes, there is something bigger between you guys’.

I couldn’t believe it. How was this possible?? I just purged all of his venom out of me! I asked again, and the shaman explained that we are like a car constantly bumping into something, unable to move forward but stuck with each other.

We are destined to be together

Now I was totally confused. Ayahuasca had told me the exact opposite! Who was I supposed to believe? What did it mean there is something bigger between us?

I put my clothes back on and sat in front of the fire. Then, my twin flame suddenly appeared in front of me in a white light. When I looked into his eyes, I suddenly understood everything.

I was cleaning his demons with my body

Twin flames are twin flames because they help each other heal. I never expected it to be this literally, though. My female body was capable of cleansing him from his own demons.

It was too much to comprehend that I burst into tears. How is it fair that my poor body is being used to clean his shit? I could not believe it. I did not want this. I just want peace, please!

But then I realized how strong I had been. I had taken all the beatings and completely surrendered. His venom was gone. It was out of us. Both of us.

My femininity had healed him. I had always known this. I was not crazy! Twin flames are real. I could not stop crying with this realization. I have never cried so profoundly in my entire life.

All that we have been through, all that I have written about — it was all real. The truth was inside of me all along. Yes, he was narcissistic, but yes, narcissists can heal.

I just did it.

Now what?

This ayahuasca ceremony was so intense that I needed some time to think afterwards. I had to ask the shaman more about it and how to move forward. I wasn’t sure if I should call my twin flame up to tell him what happened and start our reunion process. I had no idea if he was with another woman already, or how he thinks about me right now.

The shaman was quick to tell me that the process has not been finished yet. I need at least fifteen days of integration before doing anything. He told me I will have dreams with messages, and he gave me some herbs to clean myself with while bathing in the river.

I am slowly starting to realize that I have all the answers inside of me. I know it’s not our time yet, but it will be. He also needs to go through his personal healing process. I have no desire whatsoever to rush our reunion. I know it will happen when the time is right.

It would be amazing if we can both attend the same ayahuasca retreat at some point. I had no idea of the real power and the knowledge of this pyschoactive plant, but I am now so much more at peace with my twin flame obession.

After all, it’s not an obsession — it’s the truth.

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