Are incels calling themselves incels based on dating apps? Lmao!

Many people are aware that dating apps have become a hot mess for a lot of people when it comes to dating and trying to find the right person. Maybe not even just for trying to find the right person, but even for trying to find someone for more… casual purposes…

Granted, the issues may be different for men and for women, namely, that a lot of men apparently don’t get many matches or responses while a lot of women apparently get too many, but are accused of being indecisive as a result and also of being very picky and superficial. But in examining that information, we need to dig further and look into more information.

It has been said that men outnumber women on dating apps to a large degree. It is also said that most of the women on those apps are apparently only swiping right on around only 20% of the men on them. Obviously, if that’s true, that is leaving a lot of men on those apps in the dust!

One could interpret the data of saying that women are only going for the top 20% of men or the so-called elite of men. 🙄. That’s a perspective (which may not even be true). That being said, I have considered other possibilities, such as the fact that since there are so many men on the app, women may not necessarily be too picky per se, it’s just that they may have to use arbitrary measures to weed out the overwhelming number of so many prospects.

In other words, if a woman gets on an app and can immediately get 100 matches, she probably can’t date all of them (unless she really needs to get a life), so if she is really looking for someone, she has to have ways of weeding people out! So all of the guys that send boring and similar introduction messages like “hi, how are you?” might get disregarded, unless their profiles are very well written or they are exceptionally hot. Speaking of profiles, women might immediately eliminate men who have badly-written profiles or whose profiles aren’t even filled out! If the women are looking for a serious relationship, they might eliminate men who don’t even have that listed as a possibility (unless, again, those men are exceptionally hot), but they may ALSO eliminate men based on even more extremely arbitrary reasons, such as for wearing shades, for wearing caps, for not smiling and showing their teeth, and all sorts of reasons including, yes, little things like height (no pun intended) IF they are the women on that superficial tip, but don’t worry fellas, a lot of women aren’t that big on height in the real world (at least not to the point that it’s an ultimate deciding factor or anything) as dating apps and social media may have you believe. It’s probably just another arbitrary measure to weed out so many options and besides, apps like tinder are pretty much designed to be based largely on superficial measures anyway.

But for the sake of the argument, even the women who aren’t superficial whatsoever at all may still need ways to weed out so many prospects. As far as the 20% of men that the women allegedly swipe right on, it might not even be that they are the superficially hot, tall, rich, or whatever guys in so much that it may simply be that their particular profiles are the ones that are so good that they don’t have a lot of the arbitrary reasons that women swipe left on. So their pictures may be good quality (you can call it superficial if you want to, but having good-quality pictures tend to be a big deal on dating sites and apps in general), they may smile and show their teeth, all of their pictures may not have them wearing a cap as if to hide balding or something, they may not have selfies that they took in the bathroom, they may have actually filled out their profiles and had something interesting to say instead of just the generic stuff such as they like traveling and that they like to laugh and have fun (who doesn’t?), and they might not have made so-called mistakes that they didn’t even realize counted against them, such as having pictures with other women, having pictures holding up a big fish or any other dead animals (some women don’t seem to like a lot of the fishing pictures. They just don’t, I don’t know why), etc.

Are some of the reasons that men get swiped left on dumb and arbitrary? Sure. But the point I’m trying to convey is not only do women use such arbitrary measures to weed out the massive amount of options that they have, but I’m also trying to convey that the 20% of men that they swipe right on might not necessarily be the so-called top notch men in so much as they might simply be the men with better profiles that don’t have a lot of the arbitrary strikes that women use to eliminate people.

So how does all of this relate to incels? Basically what I’m trying to say is, dating apps are almost like a losing game for a lot of men to begin with. When you consider that the men on those apps outnumber the women to such a high degree, the competition is already fierce. Add with that the fact that women allegedly swipe right way less often than men do (which one could interpret as them being more picky), the average man simply doesn’t stand too much of a chance on those apps unless he has a great profile and, unfortunately, unless he meets the stats or superficial requirements of some women who actually care about such things as gorgeous looks, money, height, etc.

So if you are a guy who is mostly, if not solely, relying on dating apps to meet women, and if because you aren’t getting many (if any) matches on there, you assume that it’s because you are ugly, because you are unattractive, because you don’t make enough money, because of you’re not tall enough, or whatever other reason, that’s not necessarily the case. Pretty much all men are going to have a hard time on dating apps, so if you are basing your level of attractiveness and your incel status simply on not being able to get matches and not doing well on an app, that’s probably laughable. Not to be mean, it’s just that it’s really not the best standard for you to use concerning your level of attractiveness whatsoever.

I’m not coming down on you. Trust me, I’ve been in a dark space where, because I wasn’t meeting a lot of women on dating apps, I felt like it must have meant something was wrong with me or that I am simply an unattractive brother or whatever. But now that I’m aware of the statistics of how things go with these dating apps, I may be in a better place to not take it all so personally. Basically what I’m trying to say, is, dating apps are so bad for men (and for women, although perhaps for different reasons), that you should probably not let them be a priority for how you meet women anyway.

I know, a lot of you guys, especially millennials, and younger guys who have had dating apps available ever since you were kids, are simply too scared to show your interest to women in real life. That, in addition to the “me too” movement, a lot of women who hate men in general, a lot of women who are very arrogant or who seem to have an attitude all of the time when it comes to men simply saying hello to them, because, goodness forbid, they think that a man might be trying to holler at them (as if it’s an awful thing), etc., it’s understandable why many men simply feel safer using online dating as their only means of trying to meet women.

But as I have mentioned in another article (I can’t seem to remember which right now), if you develop your confidence and social skills to where rejection neither scares you nor hurts you so that you are actually able to talk to women in real life and carry good conversations with them, you might be ahead of the game compared to other men to a high degree!

So don’t think that you are incel based merely on dating apps just because you don’t get many matches, especially if dating apps are the only way that you have been trying to meet women. Because you and millions of other guys who are too scared to talk to women in the real world are all online and, not only that, but as much as men accuse women of only going for 20% of the men online, it may ALSO be that many of the men are only going for a small percentage of women online as well, perhaps mostly the Barbie-doll looking chicks or whatever.

So when you have millions of other men like yourself going for the same small percentage of women that you are, and when you consider that many women use arbitrary reasons to eliminate men, not only to make their options less overwhelming, but because some of them are so guarded and have trust issues anyway so they are almost looking for red flags, it probably makes sense that you don’t get many matches on those miserable little apps.

Now hey, if you feel that you are an incel beyond dating apps because you feel that even in the real world you aren’t meeting interested women, fair enough. In that case, I recommend you look at my article that gives practical tips and advice to incels (nothing hard) and you might also do well to check out my article telling you how to examine yourself to figure out what works for you based on your personality type and how you can best meet women in the real world.

Don’t let these dating apps destroy your confidence and your self-esteem. These apps are pretty much a shit show for men in general anyway, so don’t worry about it.

Thank you for reading and thank you more for sharing and for commenting.