And the Award for Most Toxic Boss Goes to…

How to Spot the Sneakiest of Bad Bosses, the Micro-Manager

When she said the words, I wonder if she knew that she was actually admitting out loud to us the she was going to be a crappy boss?

I am pretty sure that no one told her if she didn’t know. You see, one of the hallmarks of a bad leader is surrounding themselves with people that won’t tell them when they screw up.

They especially won’t tell them when their entire leadership style is awful; and that is what she told us that day, but not in those exact words.

What she said was, “I am going to be all up in your business”. Translation: “I am going to micro-manage you”. Extended definition: “I am going to be one of the lousiest bosses you have ever had, if not the worst.”

This person had just taken over a municipal government group and was letting those of us who reported to her know what kind of leader we could expect.

In a lot of ways, that was one of the best things she could have done. At least then we knew. She had the decency to tell us up front to expect a bad work experience.

In my case, I was able to extricate myself from that mess and I think it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I wrote about it here:

There are a lot of flavors of toxic bosses out there. Much of the time the toxicity is quite overt. You know right away when you are working for a bully, or someone that is all too quick to take the spotlight and offer your work up as theirs.

Conversely, the micro-manager might not seem so bad. At first. Typically, they are very friendly and seem to take a lot of interest in your work. Who doesn’t like some positive attention?

The micro-managing aspect might come into play slowly and insidiously. It may be hidden in compliments, “Nice job on that report, next time you might try to do X or Y”. Translation: “Let me tell you how to do your job”.

But the difference between good advice from a well-meaning manager and that from a micro-manager is hard to spot. The defining moment is when you realize that the helpful hints aren’t ever going to stop. You will never be able to quite do it “right”.

Some might say that the micro-manager and the narcissist are two different species of toxic boss. I submit that the micro-manager is a very special kind of narcissist. A Narcissist Ninja if you will.

You see, the micro-manager not only wants you to know that they are superior to you in every way, but they also enjoy reveling in what a fantastic job they have done crafting you into a quality employee.

The garden variety narcissist boss only tells people how much better they are. The micro-manager also shows people how much better they are. It is a constant exposition of superiority.

Another way the micro-manager exerts their influence on the unsuspecting employee is by surrounding themselves with people that have tolerated their behavior and not pushed back. This gives the micro-manager a wonderful cushion of people that not only do things exactly as their told, but also will never offer contradicting opinions or options to the micro-manager.

This self-perpetuating circle of ‘yes-people’ are reinforced by complimentary comments from the micro-manager (because they did things just as they were told).

To those (likely unsuspectingly) caught in this particular version of hell, it may seem like they are cherished and valued employees. They are; but only for their willingness to submit to the will of the micro-manager. It isn’t because they are particularly good at their job, or even very good team players. You see, there is only one team they play on — team narcissism.

To those on the outside of this circle, it may seem quite appealing to be invited into the inner sanctum. After all, look how happily all those other people are preaching the ideas of the boss. Look at them getting praise for performing so well.

This is why the micro-manager, hands down, gets the award for the most toxic boss. They take narcissism, mix it with manipulative behavior and paint the whole thing with a big ‘ol happy face of teamwork. Yay us!

Unfortunately, the team may even perform reasonably well for a while. Generally speaking, that boss probably does have some redeeming skills to get to where they are. But those will only go so far. At some point the sheer homogeneity of thought will bring the group down. And who’s fault will that be? Not the boss’ fault, that’s for certain.

When the house crumbles and the team falters, the micro-manager probably already has an escape plan. Sometimes that plan even takes them vertically up the ladder to the next unsuspecting group. Remember the success they had before? Somebody probably noticed that.

If they are “lucky”, some of the key team members — the very best at saying yes — will move with the boss. The rest will be left in the dust.

But that is okay, in this case, being left behind is one of the best outcomes short of the person realizing what an unfavorable position they are in and pulling the escape cord on their own.

If you are in a situation where you don’t believe your boss is toxic, there are many ways you can approach your relationship to make it functional and effective. I talk about a few of those here:

But, if you do have a toxic boss, you need to get out. Now.

The insidiousness of the micro-manager is what makes them the top of the toxic boss hierarchy. They are very tough to spot unless they tip you off up front. There may not be an easy escape and working with them to improve the relationship will be futile.

Moving around from position to position is probably the second-best thing a micro-managing boss can do. The best thing is telling people right up front that they are going to be micro-managed. At least that way the workers can begin looking for their own path out of the situation. Otherwise the trap is too easily set, and the unsuspecting don’t even know when it has been sprung.

I got lucky. Hopefully you will too if this happens to you.

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Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. Now moving forward to writing and consulting. For more articles like this, join the mail list.