You have a different viewpoint. I don’t like it, but I am listening
Why I choose to expose myself to opinions that run counter to my belief system
Have you ever deleted a contact from Facebook for their political opinions? I have. It felt pretty good too. I removed someone that repeatedly and antagonistically was spewing a political vitriol that made me upset.
Who needs that, right?
Not too long ago a different person sent a friend request and I accepted. A distant acquaintance from my high school days.
I began to notice that this person also espoused a different political viewpoint from mine and tended to express his perspective often with posts of the type that are designed to incite.
My first thought was, “See ya!” But I held off, and here is why:
1. I don’t want to live in a vacuum. It can be easy to put our head in the sand and act is if there aren’t people out there that have different perspectives from us. When we begin to ignore things that don’t quite align with our beliefs, we give those things a power over us.
When we throw up a wall to keep out different viewpoints, those viewpoints begin to become an unknown, a bogeyman of sorts.
Also, once we wall out anyone that believes in subject A, it is a little easier to wall out those that believe in subject B, and even easier still with C, and so on.
2. Social media isn’t real life. Yes, it is unlikely that I will embrace a partner or bring a friend into my close circle if their monologue is a constant stream of antagonistic political opinions or other grating rhetoric. That just wouldn’t happen.
The beauty of Facebook, or any other social media, is that I can turn it off or curate it. I can scroll past Mr. Opinionated’s remarks if I want. Or just not engage. I owe him nothing in this social media “friendship”, I can take as much or little of him as I care to.
Say what you will about social media (and there is plenty to say), but it does allow us to sample things in small pieces without really committing.
3. I don’t completely disagree with the dogma of the other political party. And I think I am not alone. I think many of us are closer to moderate than extreme, and that if we try, we can find at least a little bit of the other party’s belief structure that can resonate.
The same can be said about religion. Regardless of one’s particular spiritual beliefs, I bet we can find something in the other religions’ theories that rings to us with truth.
If we patently refuse to listen, we won’t find those commonalities. And as I mentioned before, the unfamiliar can be scary and as humans we have an uncanny ability to demonize the mysterious.
4. It isn’t a requirement that we divide along religious or political lines. In other words, politics and religion do not have to define us as a person.
Sure, if you are a priest or a senator, then your beliefs likely form a great deal of your outward and, probably inward, narrative and persona. Most of us aren’t priests or senators. The collections of beliefs and relationships on the whole that make us individuals are almost always greater than simply our religious or political philosophies.
I identify as a father, husband, friend, writer, ex-firefighter, indoor soccer enthusiast, snowboarder, quasi-foodie and host of other pieces about me before I make my way down the list to my religious and political alignments.
I think it is highly unlikely that finding out who someone voted for in the last election will give me any sort of reliable indication about what sort of person they are. People are much more complex and have so much more to offer than placement into an arbitrary construct defined by political affiliation.
So, for now “Mr. O(pinionated)” stays in my feed. Sometimes I scroll past without reading, sometimes his post elicits a wry smile, and sometimes I learn a thing or two.
And sometimes — a lot of times really — I don’t even open Facebook. Because, let’s face it, there are plenty of other better things to do anyway.
Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. Now moving forward to writing and consulting. For more articles like this, join the mail list.