Anatomy of a Three-Way, Part 1
All About Menage-a-trois, beginning with MFM
In my senior year of college I once found myself naked in bed with the guy I was with and another couple. We’d been drinking, gotten caught in the rain, and decided to get naked and under the covers together to warm up. I was laying on my side, kissing my date, when I felt the other guy begin to press against me, his hands roaming all over my body and his hard cock sliding between my legs. It was exhilirating to be in the middle like that, but it didn’t last long. The other girl got upset that her guy was paying attention to me and the whole thing ended in less than 2 minutes. Still, it was an experience I always remembered.
Note: This article isn’t about how to find people for a three-way and it’s not a “How To” manual. It’s a “How Three” about what some of the pleasures and considerations are of menage-a-troi. This segment will focus primarily on MFM.
Three in a bed — it’s the stuff of jokes and legends and for some, the stuff of aspirations. But what’s it really like to have a three-way? What are the upsides, as well as potential downsides? My partner, James, and I are non-monogamous, but we also only play with other people together, which means that we fairly regularly have three-ways, with both men and women. We’ve also played with couples, and once did the big group sex thing with seven, but for our tastes, three is the way to go.
Many years into a happy and sexually satisfying marriage and I found myself thinking about that college experience again. As a monogamous married woman, I hadn’t really seriously entertained the thought before, but we were going through an exploratory phase in our relationship, and it seemed like the time to bring it up. It still took a fair amount of liquid courage, but I did finally tell James that it was something I found very exciting to imagine. I was pleased and relieved that he didn’t find it objectionable or a blow to his ego and we continued to talk about what it might be like while we made love, whispering in each other’s ears elements of this fantasy as we fucked.
The next day, he said to me, “You know, we could absolutely do that sometime if you wanted to.” I was more than pleasantly surprised and yelled, “Oh, my god!” I then proceeded to give him a memorable blow job (I’d forgotten that part, but apparently he still remembers it because he brought it up when we were discussing this story). His only caveat was that we would also try an FMF. I’d never been with a woman before, but also had been a bit bi-curious for a long time, so I agreed and we started looking for our thirds.
You’d think that finding a guy to fuck a woman with essentially no strings attached would be the simplest thing in the world (at least that’s what society leads us to believe) but in real life, it’s often not so easy, particularly if that woman is married or otherwise “taken.” James told me about a high school girlfriend who thought the idea of being with two guys was hot. A few weeks later, James and she were in a hot tub with James’ friend and they knew what each other was thinking as they were making out. But when James invited the other guy to join in, he just grinned sheepishly and got out of the hot tub.
Maybe it’s because they were teenagers, but I’ve found that a lot of straight guys just don’t want to go there. I don’t know if it’s homophobia (what if we accidentally cross swords?) or if it’s that the guy thinks that he’s supposed to be the “magic maker” or if it’s that it’s just too weird to touch another guy’s woman even if he’s got permission from them both. Who knows, but even most gigolos won’t do MFM and we’ve had more than a couple of potential male partners back out of things at the last minute.
Which is really too bad, because it’s hot as hell and every woman I know who has experienced it, finds it very exciting. That’s because when done correctly (not how they do it in most porn), MFM is all about the woman. She is the one who is in charge and leading the action and unless the guys are bi-sexual, she is also the complete focus of the whole shebang (pun intended). It mixes up the typical male/female partnered dynamic quite a bit and I think that’s a part of why so many women find it so hot. You can’t just be who you think you are supposed to be or who you’ve always been in bed and so as a woman, you get to explore new aspects of your sexuality.
And that, my friends, is one of the main reasons that MFM is so good for the guys involved. If the woman is feeling confident, attended to and like it’s OK to express herself fully, it’s going to be a hotter experience for them as well. Besides getting a close-up view of live sex acts, it can be very arousing to see your partner from different angles than you typically would. And I really enjoy having all zones covered at once. All of my body is getting attention at one time, which can be difficult with just one partner unless you are dating an octopus.
After one of our first MFMs, James commented that he felt like he needed to go out and eat a steak. There was just so much masculine energy floating around, even after our date went home. Plus, we’d both really worked up an appetite! As of writing this, we’ve only been with straight guys, but have recently met someone who is also a little bit bi-curious and hope to get together with him in a couple of weeks. It will be interesting to see how that changes the dynamic.
© Copyright, Elle Beau 2020 Elle Beau writes on Medium about sex, life, relationships, society, anthropology, spirituality, and love.
The link to Part 2 of this series is below:
