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come.</li><li>I swear my hands are changing, but not in the way I expected. I don’t think my skin has changed but it’s like, the size or the ‘tone’ of the grip of my hands has changed. That’s weird. Like… I don’t know, I feel like I have Spiderman hands. Anyone?</li></ul><blockquote id="f136"><p>Other notes:</p></blockquote><ul><li>I had a day off from T and remembered why that’s not a smart move. The following day, I was moody and other stuff. Just, not good.</li><li>I think I’m learning that I can harness emotions into action. That’s new. Is that why dudes do the gym thing? Emotional release?</li></ul><h2 id="d958">This Week’s Daily Posts:</h2><div id="1d62" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-106-i-dont-know-if-a-commenter-is-passionately-agreeing-with-me-or-disagreeing-f73ce1db241d"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 106: I don’t know if a commenter is passionately agreeing with me, or…</h2> <div><h3>I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if I triggered someone to react without reading so much as the sub-title, because I…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*coJoFo9KXM3OH1UL)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="5168" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-107-i-wondered-if-i-could-just-take-a-day-off-from-being-trans-and-the-da82e53454b"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 107: I wondered if I could just, take a day off from being trans, and the…</h2> <div><h3>Yesterday, I chose to skip my daily dose of boy juice.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*FH15WAX4jBtJbfZs)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="463c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-108-some-days-i-love-that-im-non-binary-or-agender-or-gender-non-conforming-a1d244585f80"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 108: Some days, I love that I’m non-binary, or agender, or gender non-conforming…</h2> <div><h3>Other days, like today, I just wish I was a big ol’ binary bottom. Read into that what you will. The point is, it’s not…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Yy-PSG13G65rRJsXvIngXQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="ec65" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-109-trans-validation-comes-in-weird-ways-on-t-including-medically-8bfa41f89d95"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 109: Trans validation comes in weird ways on T, including ‘medically’.</h2> <div><h3>I stumbled upon two minor cysts in… the-part-that-shall-not-be-named. That’s new!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*BS7jDp-wYIdNF4Hn)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9d9c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-110-today-i-cleaned-up-some-crap-before-overwhelm-hit-is-this-how-i-boy-emote-a972c542436a"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 110: Today I cleaned up some crap before overwhelm hit. Is this how I boy emote?</h2> <div><h3>Things had been bothering me; I cleaned them up!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com<

Options

/p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*lsnQeg9Q-pEtc869)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="47af" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-111-wheres-my-man-juice-focus-i-was-promised-496555b423cb"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 111: Where’s my man juice focus I was promised?</h2> <div><h3>I’ve heard a lot of peeps on T say they can’t multitask as well anymore but they are finding they can focus better on…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*A3hhT51106hC4AZD)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="6ca8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trans-journey-day-112-it-was-that-therapy-time-of-the-fortnight-and-gt-asked-the-most-basic-but-a3d7cca7bef5"> <div> <div> <h2>Trans Journey Day 112: It was that therapy time of the fortnight and GT asked the most basic but…</h2> <div><h3>What else indeed. He looked like he was about to impart some great wisdom, but in his truly amazingly intuitive way, he…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*a_xlNnjYMTVP7hL0)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h2 id="6f9a">This Week’s Gender Articles:</h2><div id="e9d5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/who-would-have-thunk-queerly-trans-was-such-a-thing-6c407d8fd9ee"> <div> <div> <h2>Who Would Have Thunk Queerly Trans was Such a ‘Thing’?</h2> <div><h3>Well, me, but that’s because I’m a big old queer trans</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*VMIGT0tY2DBIod02KRfnzA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h1 id="d261">And on to WEEK 17:</h1><blockquote id="2410"><p>Trans Life Ahead: I am heading to a one week sit on Sunday. I’ll be in the northern subs of Melbourne with a catakin and a barking-pup. One week of solitude to get all the work done — Or so I claim.</p></blockquote><blockquote id="ef49"><p>Goals<i>: </i>1. Submit this freakin’ assignment 2. Edit every day (fuck numbers!) 3. Do a face comparison</p></blockquote><blockquote id="77a9"><p>Dose: <i>2 Pumps/day (25mg)</i></p></blockquote><div id="c4d4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/queerly-trans"> <div> <div> <h2>Queerly Trans</h2> <div><h3>QueelyTrans is a publication for stories from writers who are trans/non-binary with an extra flavor of queer. Trans…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*sYjLvDxi5Sgw-vHDfUPa5Q.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="95f9" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-kp-the-writer-f56a5e65ea7e"> <div> <div> <h2>About Me — KP-the-Writer</h2> <div><h3>Podcaster, writer, and queer, oh my</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7yTzy4Uqux13evoV0WoMpw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

TRANSGENDER

All Aboard My Failboat, At Least We Have T!

Reflecting on my transition journey this week

Adapted by author from image purchased on Deposit Photos

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WEEK 16 CHECK-IN:

Trans Life Past: I’ve been putting it off, but this week, I’ll be meeting for coffee with a couple I did a sit for before I began my medical transition. They are the only people that saw just before I started T and haven’t seen me since. I’m not sure if I’m worried they’ll notice a difference, or I’m worried they won’t. I kinda think it’s the latter.

  • So that didn’t happen because time and covid — isn’t that pretty much existence right now? At least, it is in Australia.
  • Speaking of ‘noticing a difference’, I had an interesting conversation with my therapist today. I realized that I am not even trying to ‘hide’ anything from Scotty. Like, my Testogel has been sitting there, right out in the open — and he IS usually observant. So I’m just going to keep doing me and if he asks, I’ll answer. If not. Shrug. I’ll just keep doing me!

Goal:

  1. *Rolls eyes* Do my damn uni paper because it’s due in 9 days now
  • That didn’t happen. Well, I started. I worked out the topic and I’ve gathered my references. The cool thing is, I’ve made it queerly trans AF! It’s a ‘research proposal’ and the research I’m proposing is on understanding the impact of the conflation of sexuality and gender on delayed gender-questioning of transgender and non-binary people. In layman’s terms — Yo! Gender and sexuality are two different things and trans doesn’t mean ‘gay transitioning to straight’ and if I was allowed to know that, if I was exposed to a different narrative, it wouldn’t have taken me 45 years to realize I was transgender, for fuck’s sake! But I can’t write that in my proposal. If you have to do a thing that’s boring and sucky, at least make it queer. My new motto in life, haha.

2. Edit more — let’s say, 50% of Taking the Field (about another 37k words)

  • I edited more but 50% was WAY ambitious, or so it seems. I’ve edited about 15k words. Not a huge amount, but I’ve habit stacked it and edited for half an hour every day, and hell, it’s 15k words more than I had done two weeks ago.

3. Do a face comparison

  • Well, my fail boat is 3 for 3 this week. I just totally forgot about this one! Lol.

Gratitude:

  • Logan Silkwood — Seriously dude, you’ve helped me, challenged me, and encouraged some really great conversations ❤ And thank you for being a trans man/trans-masc writer in my life because we both know we need more of us!
  • On that note, shout out to two awesome writers of trans-masc gay fiction (who are themselves openly trans): Lionel Hart (author of Chronicles of the Veil), Aiden Thomas (author of Cemetery Boys). Awesome peeps too :D

Physical Changes:

  • My hips don’t lie… My hips don’t say anything. Bitches be gone! Well, they’ve definitely ‘deflated’.
  • More hair — what a shock. Hello more chest hair, arm hair, and those few extra hairs under my chin. No, don’t congratulate me on this. I’m still working through my facial hair trauma!
  • I’ve got the twitches again — growing pains, you ARE welcome.
  • I swear my hands are changing, but not in the way I expected. I don’t think my skin has changed but it’s like, the size or the ‘tone’ of the grip of my hands has changed. That’s weird. Like… I don’t know, I feel like I have Spiderman hands. Anyone?

Other notes:

  • I had a day off from T and remembered why that’s not a smart move. The following day, I was moody and other stuff. Just, not good.
  • I think I’m learning that I can harness emotions into action. That’s new. Is that why dudes do the gym thing? Emotional release?

This Week’s Daily Posts:

This Week’s Gender Articles:

And on to WEEK 17:

Trans Life Ahead: I am heading to a one week sit on Sunday. I’ll be in the northern subs of Melbourne with a catakin and a barking-pup. One week of solitude to get all the work done — Or so I claim.

Goals: 1. Submit this freakin’ assignment 2. Edit every day (fuck numbers!) 3. Do a face comparison

Dose: 2 Pumps/day (25mg)

Transgender
Testosterone
LGBTQ
Transman
Diversity
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