A Year of Becoming

Breaking my soul wide open to discover pure emotion and growth

I chose the word becoming as my word of 2020. Little did I know that this year my soul would be broken wide open so that I could grow like never before. I believe that sometimes pure and raw emotions bring out the most growth in us. Life is there to show us the painful and the beautiful so that we can grow and become our true selves.

This piece is inspired by the beautiful questions that my fellow writer Michele Thill asked: As we have connected, I would love to hear if there is a NEW me happening in you. Have you changed? Plan on staying the same? As deeper level thinkers, what have you discovered during this time? In this piece, I will share my answers to her excellent questions.

I love the changes and growth she has had during this time of untold changes as she shares with us in her article:

Is there is NEW me happening in you?

I believe there is a new version of me forming every single day. My personal growth seems to have accelerated this year. I am actually very grateful for this time because it has caused me to take the time to look within. It has given me the opportunity to closely look at the choices I make every day. It has given me the chance to explore my deeper self.

Without this time in lockdown, I don’t think I would have grown quite so much in such a short time. In these three months I have discovered so much about myself. This time to truly explore who I really am at my deepest core has been a gift.

The new me has my heart at the core. I have finally learned to listen to my heart. My heart always has all the answers. I just have to slow down enough to listen. It has told me to follow the path of my true essence. That is where I will find joy.

The new me can say no to things with an authentic voice. In this past week I said no to social media, and to two groups that I found were no longer serving me in a heartfelt way. Before, I would hang on to constructs, people and situations that did not feel right, because I thought I would be disappointing someone if I said no. Now I know that I can say no from the heart, knowing that saying no will lead to more growth and in turn I can serve others with more energy by saying no to the excess.

Have you changed?

Yes! I have changed in so many ways. That is what I love about growth. You can never get it all done. You are always growing. Sometimes you outgrow parts of your life and you need to let them go.

I have discovered that I love helping groups! I have made a major shift in my business. Before, I used to go into people’s homes to help them declutter and organize their things. Now, I am starting to guide groups online to go through the process themselves. I really love people. People have so much power in their hearts to make changes in their lives. I now know I am here to facilitate groups so that they can make room for more joy in their homes which translates to more joy in their lives. This change in my business has been revolutionary! I get to connect very deeply with people and help them transform their spaces and their hearts. What a beautiful journey that is.

I have also started to create an online group coaching course called Make Space for Joy. It will be a course guiding a group through the connections between their things, their spaces and how they live their lives. My hope is that those that take the course will come out feeling confident that they can make a change in their home that will lead to joyful changes in themselves. I believe everything is connected. I have seen major transformations and emotional shifts in the group members I have lead in my short 5 day online retreats so far and I look forward to guiding them down a path of discovery with this new course. It gives me such joy in my heart to be of service in this way.

Another way I have changed is that I have left time in my life for writing. I have always loved to write. It really is how I communicate best. I can put my whole heart on the page and share my thoughts with the world. Illumination has given me a platform to share, explore and delight in reading other’s writing. I have found many friends here in my fellow writers. I find joy in sharing with them life’s joys and life’s sorrows as we connect.

I have also left more time for rest. I now leave more time for relaxing in the evening. I leave time for more sleep. I leave more time for dreaming. I leave more time for garden walks. I leave more time for communicating with friends. I leave more time to just be. I leave more time for me. These are changes that I feel are so welcome in my life. I feel that they are essential to becoming the next version of myself.

As deeper level thinkers, what have you discovered at this time?

At this time I have discovered this is a major shift in the earth and in the universe. My intention for this time is to be mindful of my energy and the energy of others in this ever shifting world. We are going through a time of major growing pains as we adjust to times of a pandemic and of societal changes that are long overdue.

I have always been one to observe for a while. To be quiet and thoughful. To step back and really see and hear from others what is in their hearts. I want to truly understand others from an authentic place of listening. This does not mean I do not take action. It does not mean that I am silent about injustice. It means that I am here to hold a frequency of love. I am here to discover and carry out what will bring peace between people.

With the horrific news of George Floyd’s killing, my heart broke wide open and shattered into pieces. In those days I had to sit under a tree to cry. I had to let the tears fall and I had to feel all of the pain from the collective. I had to sit in that pain to know it, to truly feel it in my whole body. I had to sit in discomfort. To know that this injustice had been done. From that place, my heart changed. I knew lots of things had to change. From that place I gave up social media. I gave up groups that I felt weren’t serving me. From that broken place I changed. Sometimes in order to make a massive change, something breaks you. From this point forward, I am taking a different path.

Thank you again Michele Thill for challenging me to think about the major changes that have happened in my personal growth this year so far. I applaud all of the amazing changes that you have made as well.

Trista Signe Ainsworth is a professional organizer with Joyful Minimalism. She helps working women clear the clutter, overwhelm and shame from their homes and lives so that they can truly live in joy. Sign up for my living in joy newsletter: Live in Joy

Connect with Trista on LinkedIn, Twitter or by email: [email protected].

I invite my fellow writers: Britni Pepper, Aurora Eliam, CMP, Amy Marley, Bob Jasper, Selma and others to answer these questions about this year so far! I look forward to reading your answers.

For more joyful reading: