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Abstract

was not very committed to my primary partner”</p><p id="0bbf" type="7">“ Even though we were seeing each other, we were not technically in a relationship publicly”</p><p id="10df">In such a situation it is of course a gray area. Is it cheating at all if you are not officially a couple?</p><h1 id="be6e">5. Need for Variety</h1><p id="2ff0" type="7">“ I wanted a greater variety of partners”</p><p id="ab27">For me personally, this is still the most understandable reason. But that doesn’t make cheating any better. Nevertheless, the relationship is probably over or damaged afterward.</p><figure id="3420"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*mSWsbomsaIWZRm4G"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@joeyy_anne?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Joeyy Lee</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h1 id="5c78">6. Neglect</h1><p id="7637" type="7">“ I felt neglected by my primary partner”</p><p id="624d" type="7">“ My primary partner was emotionally distant”</p><p id="6964">Remember: Don’t neglect your partner. Otherwise, he might go somewhere else to get what he needs.</p><h1 id="4524">7. Sexual Desire</h1><p id="fc69" type="7">“ My primary partner had lost interest in sex”</p><p id="ca34" type="7">“ My partner refused to perform certain acts during sex that I normally enjoy”</p><p id="0730">It seems like good sex is a fundamental prerequisite for a good and faithful relationship.</p><h1 id="2d8d">8. Situation</h1><p id="e79f" type="7">“ I was drunk/ intoxicated and I was not thinking clearly”</p><p id="7ca3" type="7">“ I was overwhelmed at the time due to external stressors and was not thinking clearly”</p><h1 id="6f7d">The Affair as an Exit Strategy</h1><p id="ee6c">It turned out that those who cheated out of lack of love, to boost their self-esteem, or for variety were more likely to meet their affair in public. For example, they went out to dinner or kissed in public. So they were not afraid of getting caught. One can assume that the affair is a kind of exit strategy to get out of the old relationship.</p><p id="04e7">So people who cheat for one of the other motives had less intention of ending their primary relationship or risking it.</p><p id="cf82">Another interesting fact found in the study is that <b>pretty much half of the cheaters admit their affair</b> voluntarily, with women confessing more often than men.</p><figure id="1293"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*xuHODFIULCLHGwAM"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@tar1k?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Tarik Haiga</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h1 id="7a2a">Where does cheating begin?</h1><p id="4963">That to sleep with another person than the partner is cheating, probably everyone see

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s so. But there are some gray areas. What about a kiss, dancing with another person in the disco? Flirting? Texting with other people behind your partner’s back?</p><p id="e2c1">Personally, I would not put up with all these things. But here everyone interprets the word cheating a little differently.</p><h1 id="8f9f">Summary</h1><p id="46e8">Cheating almost always arises from problems in the primary relationship. The following motives are the most common.</p><ul><li>Anger</li><li>Self- Esteem</li><li>Lack of love</li><li>Low commitment</li><li>Need for variety</li><li>Neglect</li><li>Sexual desire</li><li>The situation</li></ul><p id="1a2f">Thanks for reading!</p><p id="27db"><b>Wait a second.</b> Y<i>ou should get my articles in your inbox. <a href="https://medium.com/subscribe/@whitep"><b>Subscribe here.</b> </a>Maybe you also want to start writing on Medium yourself and make money. I made $3400 in my second full month! You only need a membership for$ 5 a month. If you sign up<a href="https://medium.com/@whitep/membership"> <b>with my link</b></a>, you support me with a part of your fee without additional costs.</i></p><p id="2844">I think you will also like these stories:</p><div id="0898" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-become-the-most-attractive-man-you-can-be-e5d9753da4d4"> <div> <div> <h2>How To Become The Most Attractive Man You Can Be</h2> <div><h3>Level up.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*muZxjbvWWRX9Irv2)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4b7c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-average-penis-size-by-race-df9e52b19df0"> <div> <div> <h2>The Average Penis Size by Race</h2> <div><h3>How big are the differences?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*RijquXwXH3kwOmG7)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="84ae" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sexual-attraction-from-an-evolutionary-perspective-684bdcb5f82c"> <div> <div> <h2>Sexual Attraction From An Evolutionary Perspective</h2> <div><h3>Why do we date who we date?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*fcQMJjAQVqoCJlh3)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

A Study Reveals Why People Cheat on Their Partners.

Cheating sucks. Nevertheless, it happens again and again.

Did you ever cheat? Have you ever been cheated on?

According to statistics, 13% of women and 20% of men report having cheated on their spouses.

What are the reasons for this? A study by Dylan Selterman, Justin Garcia, and Irene Tsapelas provides the answers.

The researchers surveyed 495 people who had admitted to cheating on their partners. In the process, they identified 8 main motives:

1. Anger

“ My primary partner had been unfaithful to me”

“ I argued with my primary before my affair

So revenge and anger seem to be common reasons for cheating. Safe to say that this revenge will hurt the partner. Of course, this behavior is very immature and destroys the relationship.

2. Esteem

“ I wanted to feel better about myself ”

“ I wanted to assert my independence and autonomy ”

What a stupid reason. Maybe you feel better for a few minutes when you are desired by someone, but after cheating, you will feel much worse as soon as your remorse kicks in.

3. Lack of Love

“ I was not sure if I really loved my primary partner”

“ I was not sure if my primary partner was the right person for me”

Uncertainty often leads to cheating. I just wonder if you are more certain afterward?

4. Low Commitment

“ I was not very committed to my primary partner”

“ Even though we were seeing each other, we were not technically in a relationship publicly”

In such a situation it is of course a gray area. Is it cheating at all if you are not officially a couple?

5. Need for Variety

“ I wanted a greater variety of partners”

For me personally, this is still the most understandable reason. But that doesn’t make cheating any better. Nevertheless, the relationship is probably over or damaged afterward.

6. Neglect

“ I felt neglected by my primary partner”

“ My primary partner was emotionally distant”

Remember: Don’t neglect your partner. Otherwise, he might go somewhere else to get what he needs.

7. Sexual Desire

“ My primary partner had lost interest in sex”

“ My partner refused to perform certain acts during sex that I normally enjoy”

It seems like good sex is a fundamental prerequisite for a good and faithful relationship.

8. Situation

“ I was drunk/ intoxicated and I was not thinking clearly”

“ I was overwhelmed at the time due to external stressors and was not thinking clearly”

The Affair as an Exit Strategy

It turned out that those who cheated out of lack of love, to boost their self-esteem, or for variety were more likely to meet their affair in public. For example, they went out to dinner or kissed in public. So they were not afraid of getting caught. One can assume that the affair is a kind of exit strategy to get out of the old relationship.

So people who cheat for one of the other motives had less intention of ending their primary relationship or risking it.

Another interesting fact found in the study is that pretty much half of the cheaters admit their affair voluntarily, with women confessing more often than men.

Where does cheating begin?

That to sleep with another person than the partner is cheating, probably everyone sees so. But there are some gray areas. What about a kiss, dancing with another person in the disco? Flirting? Texting with other people behind your partner’s back?

Personally, I would not put up with all these things. But here everyone interprets the word cheating a little differently.

Summary

Cheating almost always arises from problems in the primary relationship. The following motives are the most common.

Anger
Self- Esteem
Lack of love
Low commitment
Need for variety
Neglect
Sexual desire
The situation

Thanks for reading!

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