Fiction| Fantasy| Mashup
A Nut for a Jar of Tuna
A Kraken Lore Mashup x TFT Trove Extravaganza!
This one’s gonna be a doozie! This story is a Challenge Response to Sweet Chaos’ Hodgepodge Challenge #1 PLUS Bradan Writes Stories’ Monday Mash-Up #4 from The Kraken Lore. Follow both of these awesome publications for Fiction, Fantasy, and Writing Challenges!
Bradan halted the wagon with a gentle tug on the reins. He lifted his straw hat and wiped his brow in the unusually warm autumn sun.
Was this the fifth town he’s visited? The sixth? He’d already lost count. His dream of being a traveling merchant was unraveling faster than that magic ball of yarn from the tavern he’d visited last month.
He journeyed two days around one town because this merchant duo he’d met spun a nightmarish tale of the eerie town. People forgetting. People disappearing…
The town before that one was being attacked by angry sea-kin and merfolk riding hippocampi, while a massive siege crab squashed all the huts and cottages it could. Apparently, they were tossing their garbage into the sea.
The town before that had run him out of town for accidentally offending the mayor, who also happened to be the head of a rough gang of moped-riding thugs. He didn’t even know what a moped was until they nearly ran him off the road!
And as if things couldn’t get any worse for him, Bradan somehow attracted a ghost while driving through a cemetery last week, and now had a belligerent spirit scaring off his few customers!
He climbed down from his wagon to stretch his legs and calm his soul. He had stopped his cart beside a beautiful field of sunflowers and was admiring their beauty.
“What’s up, Buttercup?”
Bradan nearly jumped out of his skin! There was no one around. Had he finally snapped from stress?
“Head on out into the field,” the voice continued. It was starting to sound familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. “I’ve got a surprise for you!”
The voice didn’t sound threatening but the message sure did. Were robbers about to mug him and leave him for dead?
Suddenly he remembered where he had previously heard the voice. He stopped in his tracks. “It’s been you all this time!” He thought back to all the incidents that had caused him to leave town — even well before he made that wrong turn through the cemetery — she caused them all!
His ghost giggled gleefully. She materialized in a playful pose upon a sunflower. “With the exception of that ridiculous moped gang — who could’ve guessed magical scooters — it was all me!” She stood up on the flower and bowed, giggling all the while.
Bradan shook his head. “But you’ve made my life a living hell! Why?” he asked.
The ghost shrugged. “You were so much fun to tease,” she said. Her visage wore a wedding dress stained red. “Haven’t had this much fun since my wedding night.” Her chuckling slowly faded as the smile fell from her face. “Anyways, I heard that spirits can pass on to the afterlife if they do good deeds.”
“Are you going to leave me alone?” Bradan asked hopefully.
“Oh hell no! You and me are inseparable, like two peas in a pod, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a ghost and the guy she likes to haunt.”
“That’s not really — ”
“So do you wanna see my surprise or what? It’s awesome!” She floated down from her sunflower pedestal and motioned for Bradan to follow her. “This is gonna get me into heaven for sure!”
Bradan eyed her curiously. “I guess if it’ll get you ascended into heaven then I should at least give you the benefit of the doubt.” Maybe she didn’t understand that she couldn’t ascend into heaven and haunt him forever, so he knew to play his cards close to his chest.
He followed her ethereal form as it floated through the sunflower stalks until finally, they reached a small clearing. In its center stood a scarecrow, a straw hat with eyes cut out and a black rose sticking out of its mouth, with what looked like a chalkboard hanging around its neck. The chalkboard had “Hello” written on it in messy writing.
“Uh…hello,” Bradan responded. To his utter surprise, the scarecrow waved back! “Waah!!” he screamed as he jumped. “Scarecrows aren’t supposed to do that.”
The ghost passed through the scarecrow’s body, and as she exited out the other side, more words began to form on his sign. The sign now read: “Take me with you!”
Bradan pointed at the scarecrow. “He wants to come with me? This is the good deed you were talking about?” Indeed, the road was often long and lonely. Perhaps a possessed scarecrow was just the companion he needed —
He shook his head so violently that no thought, however insane, could stick inside his brain. “Everyone will think I’m that crazy merchant with the scarecrow! I’ll be ruined!”
“As opposed to being that crazy merchant haunted by a ghost?” the ghost countered with an evil glint in her eye. “You have to admit, we’d make a pretty entertaining group.”
“I thought you were going to get into heaven with this.”
“Oh, heavens, no!” she laughed. “I murdered my husband on our wedding night! I’m never getting in there.”
Bradan stared in shock. So did the scarecrow.
The ghost just laughed it off. “That is a story for another time.”
Bradan suddenly recognized the game for what it was — a giant ruse at his expense. “Fine.” he threw up his arms in surrendered exasperation.
He got the scarecrow down from his perch, and they headed back to the wagon.
As he climbed up onto the seat with his new straw companion, he caught a whiff of something sweet, charred, and burning — like marshmallows!
“What did you do, you ethereal marauder?!” he yelled at the ghostly woman, who only cackled with laughter and disappeared. He glanced at the scarecrow’s sign, which now read: “Fire. Run.”
He glanced at the fields of sunflowers. Far in the distance, he could see the lapping flames of what he assumed was an arson fire laying waste to the field that had trapped the scarecrow. The burning flowers wafted the beautiful scent throughout the land; they should evacuate quickly!
My Score
Monday Mash-Up: 2nd Prompt - 2 points
Something catches fire: Field - 1 point
A black rose on Scarecrow's hat - 1 point
A white gown covered in blood (the ghost) - 1 point
Bonus palindrome: A Nut for a Jar of Tuna (the title) - 2 points
Total Score = 7Hodgepodge Challenge #1: 1st prompt - 1 point
"What's up, buttercup?" - 1 point
A hippocamus: I googled the plural: hippocamp - 1 point
The scent of marshmallows: Ghost's arson - 1 point
A moped: Or, a GANG of moped-riders! - 1 point
1000 word story: 1 point
Total Score = 6Please consider following my Medium account and subscribing to my email list to stay up-to-date. I also encourage comments as I want to hear what you think! Thanks!
I also have a Ko-fi account set up here. Buy my affections for a Twonie! What’s that? You only have American money? Okay, I’ll accept your $1.70 or so. Geez.