The Glowing Ball of Yarn in the Elegant Troll Tavern
A story about friends, beer, and balls.
“Patrick… Hey Patrick,” slurred Wesley. “I’m going to the loo.”
Patrick nodded while leaning on the table with a tin beer cup in his hand.
Wesley stumbled his way down the steep flight of cracking old stairs of the Elegant Troll Tavern leading to the privy room. He fell over a couple of times. But finally, he said “I can do it!” and dropped facedown all the way down to the last stair.
After a few seconds of confusion, Wesley got up and wobbled down the narrow hallway of the tavern’s basement.
“Here it is!” he said, then turned toward the little barrel sitting by the cellar's wall and took off his pants.
“Oops…” he realized his mistake. “Oh well,” he continued.
When he finished, he looked behind and was almost blinded by what he saw.
“What’s wrong Wesley?” asked Patrick who saw his friend walking back to their table with a dismayed look on his face.
“I think I’ve had way too much to drink, Patrick.”
“What?! You’re still conscious. How could you have had too much?”
“I saw a glowing ball of yarn floating in the basement.”
The two friends went down together.
“This is some kind of magic,” said Patrick.
“So I’m not crazy? You see it too?”
The two were so hypnotized by the mysterious glowing object floating just above the floor, that they couldn’t stop staring at it. Also, they were very drunk and confused.
“I’ll take that with me,” said Patrick.
“I found it. I will take it!”
The two grabbed each other by the collar of their shirts and as they smelled each other’s breath, they both passed out on the floor.
Patrick woke up with a pounding in his head.
He slowly got up and looked toward Wesley who was laying on the floor next to him. When he saw that he was still passed out, Patrick realized that was the moment to act.
He picked up the ball and tucked it under his shirt.
Wesley groaned which concerned Patrick who quickly made his way up the stairs, sneaking past the barkeep to the exit.
As he exited the tavern, he ran into a few drinking buddies that were having a smoke by the door.
“Hey, Patrick! What’s that under your shirt?” one asked.
“Oh, that? That’s a… giant cyst,” he answered reluctantly.
“Really?” said another. “It looks like it’s glowing through the cloth.”
“Well that’s because…” Patrick thought hard about his answer as his beer-pickled brain slowly made up an excuse. “It’s because I got it from a witch. Yeah, she cursed me… because I took her wig. I thought it was my cat… it had the same color and I…”
While Patrick told a story he had no idea where was going, Wesley woke up to find his friend and the glowing yarn ball missing.
He started to crawl up the stairs.
“…and then the dwarf gave her chlamydia, but not how you think,” Patrick was still explaining his situation when Wesley came up behind him.
“Hey!” he yelled. “Give it back!”
Wesley jumped on Patrick’s back which caused the ball to fall out of his shirt and roll on the ground.
“Hey! Patrick’s cyst just fell off him,” said one confused onlooker.
Seconds after it hit the ground, the ball started floating in the air again. The guys in front of the tavern were too busy to notice as some of them were trying to break the fight and others were placing bets on it.
“You thief! I will never go drinking with you again,” said Wesley.
“It’s not like it’s yours!” Patrick shouted.
Percy, the barkeep, came out of the tavern to check what all the noise was about. “What’s going on here?”
“He stole your magic ball!” Wesley and Patrick answered in unison.
“You fools… Do you know what moving that ball could do?”
Now all eyes were on the floating ball of yarn.
Scared of Percy’s wrath, the gang of drinkers scattered. Wesley and Patrick tried to sneak out but before they could make a run for it, Percy grabbed them by their shirts and pulled them back.
“If I see you near that ball again or any other balls I have, you’ll be banned from this place. Do you understand?”
“Yes… that magic ball must possess great power,” said Wesley.
“Please tell us, what does it do?” asked Patrick.
“Alright,” Percy let go of the two hungover drunks. “One cold and rainy night an old wizard came to my tavern looking for shelter. I let him stay the night and gave him a warm meal. He didn’t have any money, so he took my wife’s ball of yarn and enchanted it…”
Wesley and Patrick were listening with great anticipation. What great powers does this item possess, they wondered.
“That night I received the greatest gift of all…. The great glowing ball of yarn with the power…”
The two friends leaned in closer.
“…to repel mice!”
“Huh?!” they looked at each other confused.
“Yeah, the light that emanates from the ball scares the mice… Also, cats like to play with the yarn, so they come now and then and also scare the mice. This place was hella infested before that. That’s why you should not move the ball. Got it?”
Wesley and Patrick nodded and awkwardly walked away knowing that they almost threw away their friendship over a mice-repelling magic ball.