A Hitchhiker’s Guide to Better Sleep
3 universal sleeping truths from a galaxy far, far away
With the hustle and bustle of life, a good night’s sleep can feel like it’s lightyears away. At the end of a long day, all you want to do is unplug and recharge.
The problem is, falling and staying asleep is a delicate, often confusing journey.
Back pain, anxiety, sudden flashbacks to childhood mistakes, it all piles on the instant we lie our heads down to rest. With our thumbs out ready to be swept away into dreamland, sleep eludes us.
There are 3 fundamental truths needed to flag down sleep consistently. Here they are, along with a detailed guide of how to sleep long and prosper.
1. “Catch-up” is a black hole
As a society, we are notoriously under-slept. So much so that rest and caffeine have become cultural past times.
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“Oh, you mean besides sleeping?”
Fuelled on coffee, carbs, and smartphone endorphins, we stumble through our weeks, hoping to play catch-up on the weekend. The thing about catch-up, though, is that it doesn’t work.
Picture this:
The weekend has finally come. You’ve been dreaming of your magnificent Saturday sleep-in. You lay your head down to rest only to be awoken by the sounds of silence at 6 AM. Hmmm.
In another reality, you do sleep in. But when you awake you feel groggy. As though the extra 4 hours didn’t help. Peculiar. Why is this?
This happens because our bodies want to naturally rise and fall at the same time each day/night. Known as our circadian rhythm, we follow the schedule of the sun. The more erratic our sleeping schedule, the poorer our sleep quality.
Much like computer software, our bodies run scheduled maintenance at night. During this time we recharge, run diagnostics, and make improvements.
Our scheduled maintenance reaches its peak efficiency 3–5 times per night during a stage of sleep known as rapid eye movement or REM sleep.
A good night’s sleep is comprised of 5 major stages:
Stage 1: Falling asleep (5–10 minutes)
Stage 2: Light sleep (10-20 minutes)
Stage 3: Moderate sleep (10–20 minutes)
Stage 4: Deep sleep (20-30 minutes)
Stage 5: REM sleep (10–20 minutes)
Sleep quality is heavily affected not only by how many REM cycles we can achieve but when they occur as well. Since we are diurnal beings (active during the day) we get more out of our sleep at night than during the day.
Naps are great for a mid-day boost but can not supplement consecutive night-time sleeping hours.
One study analyzing over one million participants showed that a good night’s sleep is worth 1.6 times that of interrupted sleep. This means 8 hours of tossing, turning, and supplementing with naps is equal to 5 hours of solid, night-time sleep.
What does this mean?
We are creatures of habit. Sleep schedules are far more important than we give them credit for. The maximum we are able to adjust our sleep schedules is 15–30 minutes each night without losing sleep quality.
Attempting to play catch-up is like throwing your hard-earned sleep hours into a black hole never to be seen again. So, if you’d like to stay up late or wake up early, do it slowly over time. Your future self will thank you.
As Bruce Lee famously said,
“long term consistency trumps short term intensity.”
2. Sleep is like an alphanumeric password
If you think about it, the human body is pretty amazing. We operate a self-aware system made up of trillions of components that control physical movement, cognition, and emotion.
We can run for 100+ years without ever taking a break. We don’t have an off switch and cannot simply reset our interfaces when experiencing a glitch. The only chance we get to take a break is through nightly scheduled maintenance.
If you’ve ever updated the software on your computer or smartphone you’ll know that it requires a password. Much like an alphanumeric password, our bodies have conditions for sleep.
Picture this familiar scene:
You’re lying in bed, awake. Tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. It just doesn’t make sense, you’ve had a long exhausting day at work. Why can’t you fall asleep?
This is because you haven’t met your body’s condition for sleep. Sleep’s primary functions are to:
- Improve cognition → mental energy
- Recharge physical energy → physical energy
- Modulate phycological state → emotional energy
Over time, we’ve forgotten how to create strong passwords that unlock sleep, making it harder and harder to come by. Just like an alphanumeric password requires a series of capital letters, numbers, and symbols, sleep requires a balance of energy expediter to warrant its nightly maintenance.
In addition to being creatures of habit, our bodies love efficiency. There’s no sense in recharging our systems if we’ve only used portions of them.
Our bodies need physical movement, we need to be challenged mentally, and our emotions need to be heard or expressed.
If we spend our day only engaging in physical activity, for example, we will lie awake pondering the meaning of life. Sitting in one spot, staring at a computer screen all day will result in frustrating tossing and turning as our bodies look to use up physical energy.
Unbalanced use of our energy systems is inefficient. And lying awake at night despite being tired, feels oddly similar to the incessant message of “Ah ah ah, you didn’t say the magic word”.
What does this mean?
Sleep is a holistic endeavour. Use all avenues of your being. Balance is everything in life, including getting a good night’s sleep.
We’re busy and passwords are easy to forget. Creating habits are like backing your passwords up to the cloud. At the bottom of this story, you will find, “A Hitchhiker’s Guide to Better Sleep” where I outline specific actions to create a strong sleep password.
3. Time is an illusion. Night-time, doubly so.
Since we’ve spent the last few minutes together, I feel as though I know what you might be thinking: “Ok, but what if I can’t fall asleep?”
It’s a great question. One as old as time… or since smartphones were invented. Sometimes it’s nearly impossible to fall asleep.
So, when faced with a tossy-turny, frustratingly conscious night, what do you do?
Dale Carnegie, author of one of the most popular self-help books of all time says:
“If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.”
With that being said, here are many things you can do if you just can’t fall asleep…
First, do this…
Pin-point where the blockage is coming from. Sleep is normal, so the absence of sleep is abnormal and worth investigating.
Is it something simple like tight muscles? If so, stretch. You’ll be amazed at what 5 minutes of gentle stretching before bed can do for your sleep quality.
Or, is it something more complex. Are you avoiding sleep to delay the inevitable work-day that awaits you tomorrow?
Questioning yourself openly and honestly creates an internal conversation around your health. You cannot force yourself to sleep, so communication is key.
Then, do this…
Let yourself be awake for as long as you need. Turning your conscious mind off for the day allows your subconscious to come out and play. If there’s an issue it wants to discuss, bedtime is when it will speak up.
Just like a child incessantly asking to show you something, the quickest way to move past subconscious dialogue it is to listen to it. Dive into your subconscious and explore whatever is on your mind.
We often overdramatize meditation but listening to your thoughts without actively thinking is really all there is to it. After a few minutes of following your thoughts, you will likely lose track of reality and fall asleep.
And if that doesn’t work, here’s what to do…
Whatever you need to. Whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, whatever is blocking you from seep will need to be addressed before moving on to dreamland.
At night, time stretches, and lying awake can feel like an eternity. Personally, I lie awake at night most frequently when I haven’t expended enough mental energy. No matter how tired I am.
Keep a journal next to your bed to effectively expend any excess mental energy you may have. Write away whatever is on your mind and then forget about it. Reading can offer a similar effect.
Whatever you do during this time, do not turn on the lights or look at your phone. Light, especially blue light, tells our brains that it’s daytime and makes it harder to fall asleep.
What does this mean?
Sleeping is a long-term endeavour not to be slighted by sleeping pills or medication. We were built to sleep each night, so if you can’t there is a larger issue at hand.
Some of the most important decisions in my life have been made in the middle of the night, sitting on my floor in the dark. We have so much going on during the day that, sometimes, it’s our only opportunity to think things over.
And finally, “A Hitchhiker’s Guide to Better Sleep”
As promised, I’ve outlined an actionable guide on how to sleep better at night. The 3 fundamental truths you have just read provide the theory you need to boldly go where you may have never gone before.
→ Stop forcing yourself to go to bed: As a wise philosopher once said, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Waking up earlier is easier than going to bed earlier. Work backward 15–30 minutes from when you currently wake up until you reach your desired wake-up time. You may need to take naps as you adapt, and that’s ok.
→ Keep your naps to 30 minutes: Any longer and you’ll start to supplement night-time sleeping. Remember, night-time > daytime hours.
→ Do this when you wake up: Introduce yourself to light to let your brain know the sun is up (even if it’s not). Blue light in the morning is a good thing.
→ Do this before going to bed: Avoid overhead lighting 2 hours before your bedtime. Bright light above your head simulates the sun. Reduce it by using mid-height lamps or with dimming switches. Stay away from blue light during this time.
** There are many free apps you can download to automatically adjust your device’s blue-light settings to the schedule of the sun. I use one called “f.lux.”
→ Use technology to your advantage: It’s easy to lose track of time, set a bedtime reminder on your smartphone and stick to it.
→ Remove the phrase “sleep-in” from your vocabulary: If you’re sleeping on a schedule, you wake up at the same time every day, rested and alert.
Additional resource: How to make time management your secret weapon
→ Move your body: You don’t need to crush it at the gym to fulfill your physical requirements for the day. Passive exercise such as chores, walks, or playing with your pets makes a huge difference in falling asleep at night.
Additional resource: Walking: a cure-all elixir
→ Speak your truth: We hold onto a lot during the day that can haunt us at night. Reduce the shock of transitioning into your subconscious mind by getting in touch with it. Have the awkward conversations with yourselves and others. Are you happy? Is something bothering you? You’ll sleep much better at night knowing you have a clean emotional slate.
Additional resource: How to speak to yourself
→ Use your brain and be creative: Sometimes, at the end of a long day, the last thing you want to do is to use your brain. But doing so will reduce tossing and turning. Low-expectation activities such as reading, doodling, or journaling are great ways to efficiently use up any creative/mental energy you may have left.
Additional resource: Meditation made easy
→ Be consistent and plan ahead: We can only adjust our sleep schedules by 15–30 minutes each night. This means that staying up just 2 hours past your bedtime can take 4 days to properly recover from. Plan ahead and understand the gravity of late-night benders.
Additional resource: The psychology of habits
→ Stop eating 4 hours before bed: Digesting while you’re trying to sleep messes with your hormones, increasing cortisol levels (the stress hormone), and spikes your blood sugar.
Additional resource: How to build better habits
→ Write down your thoughts and forget them: Before bed, write down everything that’s on your mind and then forget about it. Worrying puts us in fight or flight mode making sleep near impossible.
→ Sleeping is a skill. Practice it: Becoming more comfortable with slipping in and out of consciousness takes practice. Take power naps, close your eyes, or simply sit and think throughout the day to practice the transitory phase of sleep that many of us find difficult. How hard it is to put your phone down and how well you sleep at night have a direct, inverted correlation.
→ Sleep is a part of life: We spend one-third of our lives sleeping. Look at sleep as a part of life as opposed to a break from it. Being mindful is one of the best practices you can maintain in life. It helps you understand who you are and how you sleep.
Additional resource: Simple ways to practice mindfulness
Let’s stay in touch! If you enjoyed this article, follow me at Hudson Rennie for more. I’m excited to hear how your sleep journey is going.
We can also keep in contact through check-ins I call Finding Balance Weekly. I give further insight into each of my stories and we can interact, personally.
