Life Lessons

How Angela Transformed Her Life and Impacted Others After His Husband’s Death

Adjusting to a new life can be painful, but personal care and support from others can ease the transition.

Start of a Better Life After a Major Setback

Angela had a lovely childhood growing up with creative endeavors and having had a chance to study design and marketing in a college. After practicing as a designer and marketer for a while, she married her sweetheart.

However, after having a happy marriage and being blessed with three healthy kids, 1, 5, and 9 years old, life threw an enormous setback to Angela.

When the youngest kid was only one year old, her loving husband died from a heart attack at work. This shock was unbearable initially.

Losing her lovely husband shattered her psyche and threatened her wellness. She felt vulnerable as a young widow with three children.

But time healed her psychological wounds. She started seeing reality with acceptance and taking personal responsibility for her life and her children. She had to change and transition to a new life to survive.

Unfortunately, her husband had no life insurance. His tiny restaurant serving ethnic food, which used to bring reasonable income, was in an attractive place they rented.

As there was no income, she couldn’t pay the rent and couldn’t operate it herself, so she had to close the shop. Besides, looking after the kids was a full-time job for her.

Nevertheless, after two years of grief period, Angela noticed that she needed income to pay the loans, feed the kids, and prepare for their future. Staying at home all day with the children impacted her mental health.

The government pension was hardly enough to meet the daily expenses and bills. She wanted to work and have a meaningful life.

Delegation opened the path.

The idea of the delegation came to her rescue. When her husband worked, Angela did not allow others to look after her kids, not even her parents. Her parents were keen to help, but she always refused their caring offers.

This time she let go and embraced their support with gratitude. This shift created a win-win position. The parents loved spending time with grandkids, and Angela gained substantial time to work and bring income to the family.

Fortunately, she found a full-time job with a supportive boss and cheerful colleagues she adored.

Nevertheless, as she was not used to working for others for a long time, work started creating physical and emotional stress for Angela.

The Emergence of a New Problem with Great Solutions

Her boss noticed her growing stress and anxiety at work. Caring about this valuable employee delighting their customer, he referred Angela to a counselor supporting single parents.

It did not take long for this qualified psychologist and social worker to identify missing points in Angela’s life. Angela’s sudden weight gain gave clues to the counselor about the lacking traits in her life.

The most noticeable patterns were her sleep deprivation, excessive calorie consumption due to emotional eating, and sedentary life causing excess stress in her life.

Angela gained extra 20 kilos after starting to work. This was unusual as she had never gained noticeable weight before. Emotional stress seemed to be the root cause of her disturbances.

The counselor started a program addressing these fundamentals. A sleep specialist helped Angela to solve her sleep problems. A dietician improved her diet by addressing her emotional eating behavior. She learned to control her appetite.

A community fitness group encouraged her to move her body with joy. She loved walking, swimming, and doing Yoga with her friends.

Addressing these fundamentals helped Angela to lose fat gradually. Her stress level noticeably dropped, and her mood brightened up.

This improvement encouraged Angela to stay on track and made her parents, boss, and colleagues proud. She became more productive at work and tolerant of her parents and kids.

Even though these fundamentals made a noticeable difference, Angela struggled with anxious thoughts and unpleasant emotions. She couldn’t find tangible reasons for her disturbing thoughts and feelings coming out of the blue.

She wondered how some colleagues were cheerful and productive at work despite their personal and professional challenges like hers. She intuitively knew something was missing in her life and wanted to find it out.

An unexpected serendipity cleared the path.

One day when having lunch, she asked one of her colleagues how she maintained her sanity despite demanding clients at work. Her friend was also a single mom with a young daughter. Besides, she did not have parents to look after her child.

Her friend’s kid was looked after by a daycare center which her boss paid for. Angela noticed her blessing and became more grateful for the support of her parents. Her friend looked more resilient than Angela. She wanted to learn the secret.

Angela’s friends mentioned she meditated for half an hour every morning and 20 minutes before bed since her childhood, as trained by her parents, migrated from India to Australia.

This was an abstract idea to her as Angela didn’t know what meditation was and what benefits it might bring to one’s life. She heard the term but never paid attention to it and did not imagine meditation solving one’s emotional problems. She got curious.

Her friend explained the benefits and gave Angela practical tips to observe her thoughts, feelings, and breathing without judgment. They started meditating for 15 minutes during lunchtimes on a park bench near the office in the summer.

Initially, Angela struggled with flooding thoughts and felt more stressed while meditating. But her friend’s soft, guiding, and supportive words helped Angela calm her mind after a while. Angela got convinced to practice 20 minutes of meditation every night before sleeping.

Then she started meditating for 15 minutes in the morning too. Within a few months, she noticed some improvement in her sleep which also improved her mood.

Angela’s thoughts and feelings tend to turn more positive. More importantly, she lost extra weight and gained a better physique improving her self-love and self-confidence.

After seeing such helpful changes, Angela decided to make meditation a habit. Seeing a remarkable difference in Angela’s behavior and productivity, her friends and boss congratulated her for rewiring her brain for serenity, joy, and happiness.

With improved creativity and productivity, Angela got multiple promotions at work, became a business partner to her boss, and earned more income to support her young family. The kids grew up with excellent education and became self-sufficient. She did not need support from her aging parents anymore.

However, this time it was her turn to look after her parents. With the income she generated from her employment, she helped her parents to go to a nursing home with compassionate employees close to her suburb, where she could visit them frequently.

Conclusions and Takeaways

Even though fundamentals helped Angela survive during the transition period, meditation helped her thrive and become compassionate to others.

Transitioning to a new life was painful, but personal care and support from others made it possible for Angela. Opening her mind and heart to others brought joy and happiness to her life.

As meditation was the most crucial tool to keep her sanity in her challenging years, Angela committed to supporting and inspiring many single parents to learn meditation and practice it regularly to overcome similar challenges.

As Angela walked her talk, reflecting her tangible transformation, her altruistic teaching became receptive to others. Many single moms benefitted from simplified meditation and mindfulness activities to maintain their sanity.

This noble hobby as a giveback activity to disadvantaged community members empowered Angela to live a meaningful and joyful life. She also passed along the knowledge to others to use meditation for personal improvement and charitable activity for the development of others.

When I met Angela last time, she said meditation not only helped her during difficult years but also enabled her to mend a broken heart by healing it with the tranquillity and joy that she needed for a lifetime.

The key takeaway of this story is that even though adjusting to a new life can be painful, personal care and support from others can ease the transition and facilitate the desired transformation.

More similar stories are in my collection of life lessons.

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