7 Valuable Lessons I Would Teach To My 15-Year-Old Self
At 28, I think they are still relevant to learn (Part I)
As an adult looking back on my teenage years, I wish I had made better decisions. We all have such regrets.
We all have:
- Times we want to relive
- Things we wish we could change
- And moments we want to forget.
But some decisions are life-altering.
For me, there are the habits I wish I had incorporated into my teenage years. Life lessons I wish I would have learned sooner.
So, here we go:
1.) Build strong meaningful relationships
You hardly make any good friends once you are in your 20s. At least I didn’t. Friends who have witnessed your journey from a young adult to the person you’ve become, with whom you have shared experiences and memories, will always share a stronger bond with you.
As you grow older, you become too careful and often start pretending to be someone accepted by societal standards. You stop resonating with your natural frequency to attract your kind of people, which makes it hard to meet people like yourselves.
I made 2 lifelong friends when I was young, and I share countless unforgettable memories with them. We only studied together for three years and then all of us moved in different directions.
And even though I met many new people after that, I never made any meaningful friends. I’m not even an introvert.
We’re all married now and we stay several miles apart from each other, but still, we try to maintain contact.
So, if you’re in your early 20s, hold on to your friends with all you have.
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain
2.) You’re not as smart as you think.
Being a teenager is hard.
Even though most teenagers are irrational, they think no one is smarter than them. At this age, parents and every adult seem stupid and only your friends’ opinions matter.
Their own decisions are purely impulsive, hormonal, and emotional.
Teenagers in my generation were particularly ignorant. My group was among the good ones who weren’t drinking, smoking, fighting on the streets and even we were so empty-headed.
I am telling you, during my teenage years, thinking wasn’t a concept. Most of my friends were whimsical.
Once a friend dared me to go to a girl’s house whom he used to like. I knew her through a mutual acquaintance.
Let’s call her Julie.
Back then, it was a big deal going over to a girl’s house. So I went. Her grandfather was just outside, and he asked me at her door, “Who is she to you?’’
I gathered up my courage and told him that we were classmates. I went inside; I touched Julie’s mother’s feet (A method of how Indians pay respect to their elders) and I asked her mother to take her out for my birthday party.
Her mother seemed in shock and told me to ask Julie and in front of them, I asked her to come out to celebrate my birthday. It wasn’t even my birthday.
Of course, she denied it in a whispering tone.
I ran out of her house like running for my life. It was a miracle that these people didn’t beat me or asked me to call my parents so they could beat me.
Later I found out her younger brother was angrily enquiring about me because he didn’t like that a guy came to his house to ask for her sister, and he was right. At that age, I would have done the same.
I consider myself lucky that he never found out about me, and perhaps his anger subsided with time.
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
3.) Work on your physical health.
Habits you build when you are young are long-lasting.
It sets a strong foundation for a healthier life as you get older. It helps you build good habits, maintain your energy, and prevent health issues in the future.
Plus, it’s easier to establish a healthy lifestyle early on than to try to change later in life.
You can always build a good physique when you’re older, but doing it early has its advantages. So, you must pay attention to your health in teenage.
But those are the years I neglected my health the most. I didn’t do strength or resistance training, and I was skipping meals every day. I would go without eating for 10–12 hours and then eat some junk to feel full.
And it wasn’t just me. All of my friends were doing the same. We ate junk food together every day.
If I could go back in time, I would have told myself and all my friends to exercise regularly and pay a little attention to nutrition.
“A fit, healthy body — that is the best fashion statement” ― Jess C Scott
4.) Research before making any career choices.
Career choice is one of the decisions that will decide if a good amount of your life is going to be miserable. It is a decision that must be very analytical, but in India, it’s fueled by the emotions and experiences of relatives and parents.
There is a mindset that science is a superior field to take and only intelligent ones take science and it has been there for very long.
A lot of people choose science over commerce and humanities. In India, you will find a ton of engineers who are comedians, musicians, restaurant owners, YouTubers, writers, etc.
And most engineers cannot switch careers after engineering, so they are stuck for life.
It happens in all the fields. Two of my friends who took commerce are now working in tech jobs. They regret that they should have pursued engineering instead.
I have met a chief resident doctor who advised me to never become a doctor.
I have a particular interest in alternate medicine and I think that I should have been an Ayurvedic doctor instead of an IT engineer. However, the decision to take computer science at Polytechnic was mine.
I was in love with computers when I was 15 and mostly it was gaming. I was too dumb to realize that loving gaming differs from writing lines of code. But, I didn’t have access to the internet at that time.
“You can live doing what you love or die having done nothing at all.” ― Robin Caldwell
5.) Read books.
I think I read my first out-of-curriculum book when I was 18 and I read my next book when I was 20. I wish I could encourage my younger self to invest time in reading instead of aimlessly wandering with friends and acquaintances and engaging in activities like gaming, music, and movies.
Reading books would have helped me understand the fundamentals of life. I would have known about consistency, trauma, and a lot of principles so much earlier in life.
If I could advise my younger self, I’d say that the key to succeeding in the world is by sharpening your thoughts, and the best way to do that is through reading.
Maybe if I read more often during my teenage, I would have saved myself from so many stupid decisions.
This applies to everyone in any age group. If you read today, you will make better decisions tomorrow.
One of the most important books I would have recommended to my younger self is Six Pillars of Self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden. I have learned so much from this book, and every statement written in the book feels like a life lesson.
I have also written an article compiling 100 quotes from the author. If you want to get a deep insight into the author and his book within a few minutes, you can check this out.
“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” ― Lemony Snicket
6.) Respect your time.
Many teenagers waste a lot of their time on useless things and I was no different. I would listen to music for hours and watch videos of the same.
I used to go out every day in the name of exercise from 4 to 9 am. My friends and I would just talk and walk and make jokes about people during that entire time.
After that, we went to a local food vendor and ate fried foods such as samosa, and kachori and then I went home and binge-watched The Walking Dead, Marvel’s Daredevil, etc.
Sometimes, we would meet again the same day and spend the rest of the time talking, eating, and bullshit*ing.
I could have used that time to build something valuable, but I was busy doing stupid things.
“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” ― Charles Darwin
7.) Practice humility.
Humility is a very underrated virtue in the world. I had no clue about it. I was rude, selfish, and a jerk sometimes.
People consider themselves special for reasons such as being born in a particular race or country, the color of their skin, the religion they follow, and whatnot. I would tell my younger self to see all humans as equals.
I would tell my younger self to talk politely to everyone and ditch the arrogance that I thought was the quality of strong men. The real quality of a mentally strong man is humility.
It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels — Saint Augustine
I wish I could go back and advise my younger self to learn how to manage my feelings better. When I was a teenager, I often felt really angry because I had been an angry kid in the past.
I remember times when I broke things like a door handle, two chairs, a table, and even a helmet. It was tough, and I wish I had known how to handle my emotions more effectively back then.
Once a priest told my parents to get a ritual done and that would help the child to calm down. The ritual was a bit too much, but it was done and had no results.
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