Five Subtle Behaviors That Make You More Respectable

Don’t read it if you want to be disrespected your whole life

Respect is when you admire or value someone for who they are, what they’ve done, or what they deserve.

And respect doesn’t exist without trust. It cannot exist without a sense of safety.

You also don’t respect every person in the same way. It’s weird but true.

For example,

• We don’t respect our elders, we just don’t disrespect them.
• We don’t respect children like adults. We love them and feel responsible for their well-being.
• But in the case of our colleagues and friends, respect comes from trust and is earned by helping in times of need, going the extra mile, and being a constant well-wisher.

Respect comes when you are sure that the person is true to their word. It requires some degree of certainty about the person.

Also, you can know someone for a long time and not trust them. And at the same time, you can have huge respect for someone you just met a few weeks ago.

So, what’s the reason behind this? Why do some people attract respect while others find it hard to gain it?

Gaining respect isn’t a trick or a hack but it’s something that requires 90% of virtues, patience and 10% being quick-witted. It will feel easy once you have read the entire article.

So, here are 5 subtle behaviors that make you more respectable:

Positivity Prevails

Most of the time, we talk about the undesirable traits of someone behind their backs. Talking behind someone doesn’t help anyone. We talk about someone and how selfish they have been with you and we go on our way.

It makes us look like petty gossipers and that person stays the same. Instead of this, you can do something that can change the person and can help you gain respect.

How?

We should always praise everyone behind their backs and should tell them their flaws very politely in person.

First, it builds your social stature as a person who is just, appreciative, and always confronts the truth. And second, it establishes you as a person who always says good things about everyone.

While telling someone’s flaws, always tell them how high regard you have for them.

I’ll give you an example of how most of us operate while given high regard.

Once a friend of mine was traveling on a bus in India, and close to him there was a daily wage worker standing and chewing some tobacco product. After chewing, he spat inside the bus.

My friend noticed him. Instead of getting angry and confronting him with rage, he put a hand on his shoulder and asked him very politely, “You look like an educated person. Why would you do that?”

That man took out a paper from his pocket, wiped the floor, and apologized.

Praising publically and politely critiquing in person builds trust and respect. It builds your character and establishes your image not just in front of others but in your own eyes and it improves your self-esteem.

Improved self-esteem helps you gain self-respect, which is a necessity to gain respect outside.

Almost every human being has good and bad traits. Unless someone is evil enough to be called a criminal, try to find good things in them. When they’re not around, talk about those good things instead.

Transparent Intentions

When you don’t have any ulterior motives and you are truthful with yourself and others, people tend to see you as someone they can trust.

This trust comes from being straightforward and having harmony between your words and actions. If you do that, you will naturally be deemed as a reliable soul. And when we find someone reliable, we respect them.

People will be drawn towards your honesty, and your ability to keep promises.

And if you’re not honest and try to deceive others, you can only keep up the act for a limited time. Eventually, people will lose whatever little trust you have gained by pretending and you will never have a shred of respect from them.

These people will then tell everyone they know about your past behaviors, making everyone think that you are unreliable and unfaithful. You become someone who has neither the trust nor the respect.

And no one wants that.

If you pay attention, you’ll find such people everywhere. People you’ve known for a long time but wouldn’t trust. You can talk to them, go out with them, ask them for small favors, but there’s just no respect.

Make sure you don’t end up like them. Just be honest, it’s a simple and effective way to gain respect. And don’t forget to protect yourself from people with hidden motives.

Even when someone seems reliable at first, take some time to trust them. Unwarranted trust can lead to painful consequences.

Embrace Authenticity

Some people are always looking for ways to turn situations to their benefit. They think nobody’s going to see their true intentions, as they are very smart.

People may not notice it the first or second time, but eventually, everyone understands.

Judging others as fools is a sure sign of one’s own foolishness.

When I was in college, we needed to maintain at least 70% attendance.

One day, our class decided to skip a lecture and everyone left while I took the responsibility of informing the teacher whose lecture we were about to bunk.

As I was going to inform the professor, two of my classmates who didn’t come to college too often came with me.

One of them suggested that we should tell the professor that the class was on AWOL and there were only three of us. So that he would mark our attendance and let us go.

Before I could say something, the third guy said that this wasn’t fair to the people who left. And we shouldn’t do something like this. I agreed instantly and we all just told the professor and left.

Now, they may have forgotten it, but I’ll always remember one of them as a fair and just person while the other one as cunning and someone who tries to be over-smart.

Only one of them would have my trust and respect.

So, if you genuinely care for others, people will know. And they’ll respect you for it.

The Art of Active Listening

When you just hear and don’t listen to someone, you disrespect them subtly. But when you listen to someone actively, it is a form of genuine respect towards the person.

Active listening shows you care about what they’re saying.

You do this by looking at them in the eyes, nodding when required, and not interrupting. It also means respecting their opinions, even if they differ from your own.

When you do this, people will think highly of you and feel that you value what they have to say. It gives them a warm feeling of being important, which develops trust.

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” - Bryant H. McGill

Humility vs Pride

If you asked me, “What’s the one thing that can make me respectable and become a better person?”

I would definitely say, “Humility”.

• Humility is when you’re honest about your strengths and weaknesses, and treat others with respect.
• Humility is about not thinking you’re better than others. It’s when you’re modest and admit your mistakes.
• It makes you more admirable because people like those who are down-to-earth and easy to talk to.

Pride, on the other hand, is when you think too highly of yourself and show off your achievements. It can make you seem arrogant and less respectable because it can push people away.

And every wise person will tell you the same.

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” -Thomas Merton

“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.” -Saint Augustine

“Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right.” -Ezra T. Benson

In simple words, humility makes you more respectable, while too much pride can have the opposite effect.

To Summarize

• We should always praise everyone behind their backs and should tell them their flaws very politely in person.
• Transparency and honest intentions help build trust and respect.
• Being genuine and fair, rather than cunning, fosters respect.
• Active listening shows that you value others’ opinions.
• Humility, acknowledging strengths and weaknesses, is the key to respect. Excessive pride can lead to arrogance and diminish respect.

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