Valentine’s Day Special
7 Erotica Writers Who Will Make Your Valentine’s Day Special
They were all approved by ChatGPT, the kinky AI
Disclaimer: I asked a friend to write this article because I was too shy to do it alone.
My friend selected 7 erotica writers to make your Valentine’s Day extra special this year. Follow their lead, read their whole stories — not just the tips — and I guarantee your satisfaction.
First, you will need some decoration
Lucky for you, May More is a pro, and she’s willing to help for a ridiculously small fee. Read all her tips here:
Music. You will need music for Valentine’s Day
Usually, people go for romantic songs like “You’re Still the One” or “Forever and Ever, Amen.” But did you know classical music is more than welcome in the bedroom? According to scientific studies, pieces played by a string quartet are the most erotic ones. Our resident expert, Ryan Klemek, tells us more about this little-known fact here:
Flowers are also a classic
Although roses are the undisputed epitome of Valentine’s bouquets, many people are afraid because they come with thorns. If that’s you, please don’t worry. As Ginger Bangs skillfully explains it to us, thorns magically disappear for Valentine’s Day.
Don’t overthink sex or anything else for that matter during Valentine’s Day
It’s all about being present in the moment. Patricia Ray has a mantra she follows for Valentine’s Day and for having sex in general. “Don’t overthink. Let your brain gives in and enjoy.”
If you wait too long for the princess, you might end up alone
I know it can be more comfortable to sit on the couch reading some Medium articles while waiting for your princess to call you, but sometimes you need to take the bull by the horns and fuck him silly. Kate Granger won’t disagree with me.
What if love is dead?
There are two days in the year when the magic happens. One is Christmas, and the other is Valentine’s Day. There are no better days to resurrect a love story, even if it’s covered in filth, lying in the gutter of a dingy street at the back of a pub. If Emily did it, so can you.
In closing, Valentine’s Day is all about love. Listen to yourself. What do you really love?
If flowers, chocolate, and a romantic dinner aren’t for you, that’s OK. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a romantic comedy. It’s about love, and that includes yourself. Do whatever you enjoy, even if, like Marsha Adams, it involves Mr. Potatohead.
Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️
Was that too kinky for you?
If you would rather read some romance for Valentine’s Day, Gemma Lee recommends:
